On the Mend

It's been awhile since I sat down to blog, and normally I'd say it's because I've been so busy, but this week, that's really not the case. Between working three jobs and spending time with Charley, I'm generally running a million miles a minute, and every once in awhile, it catches up with me. I've always had issues with allergies, but I rarely get sick. I credit my career, working with children who expose me to germs on a daily basis, for my fairly strong immune system. However, with my schedule being as busy as it is, stress, and lack of sleep, there are times when I pick something up. And that's been my last two weeks....

The problem I've always faced, when I pick up any kind of congestion or upper respiratory bugs, is I can never seem to get them to go away. When I woke up two weeks ago Monday, congested, feverish, and with a headache, I figured it would go away in a day or two. Well, the fever, and headache went away within a day, and on Tuesday I felt much better. But as the week went on, the congestion got worse, and by Sunday morning, one side of my face was swollen and I couldn't hear out of my left ear. Awesome. I went into a Minute Clinic, found out I had a sinus infection and double ear infection (my first ear infection in about 20 years, I might add), and got on some antibiotics. I was certain I'd feel better quickly, but it's been a week now, and while I feel physically fine (woohoo!)I still can't hear. I actually didn't mind that at school last week, though... It made it easier to tune out the intentional noise-making. Ha!

While I've mentioned that my life is busy, I neglected to add that when I'm busy, Charley is busy, too. And last week, it caught up with her. I knew she would inevitably pick something up, because when there's only one parent in the picture on a daily basis and that parent gets sick, it's almost impossible to prevent a child from catching the bug. Charley wasn't hit terribly hard (thank goodness), but she did come home from school with a fever on Tuesday, and one would've thought I'd taken the world away from her when I told her she couldn't go to dance if she was sick. She stayed home from school on Wednesday, which meant I stayed home, too, and I'm actually kind of grateful for that, because it gave me a chance to finish up some work.

By Thursday, Charley was feeling much better, and ready to return to school. I might be able to entertain and educate pre-teens all day, but apparently I'm just not that entertaining to a 4 year-old. Anyway, Thursday and Friday were long days, but they passed quickly. Thursday evening we went to dinner at a long-time family friends' house, and it was wonderful. Charley and I ate the best meal we've had in a long time, and enjoyed some great conversation with friends that might as well be family. It was just what I needed. On Friday evening, Charley and I went to Family Fun Night at my school. That's always interesting, because the kids are so thrown off when they see me with my OWN child. They were excited to see her, though. They hear about her all the time, and I'm sure it was fun for them to see her in person. After she loaded up on sugar, paraded around talking to all of my teacher-friends, and had her hair dyed pink and purple, we finally headed home (where we immediately washed out the hair dye, I might add...Ha!).

Today was a pretty good day for the most part. We ran errands, and did chores around the house. I did just have a "Lindsey Moment," a few minutes ago, that's probably worth sharing. Charley and I were sitting on the couch, and I got up to go to the bathroom. Before going in, I put a pillow in the microwave (one of those pillows filled with rice that holds heat...amazing), and went to open the door. And it was locked. Apparently Charley had locked the door from the inside, and shut the door. Awesome. As I tried to unlock the door with various objects, including a bobby-pin, a nail, and a wine opener (all fails, I might add), I turned around and noticed that my pillow was on fire in the microwave. "Crap!" I shouted, kind of proud of myself for not letting a more offensive 4-letter word slip out, and I opened the microwave to put out the fire. I blew out the fire, then looked at the pillow. Charley had wrapped one of her metal necklaces in the pillow, and I hadn't noticed it when I put it in the microwave. Awesome. It really felt like one of those movie moments that never happens in real life. But it did. And while I was annoyed at the time, I also realize that it was totally hilarious. So, now I sit here on the couch, in my living room that smells like burnt fabric, and I still can't get into my bathroom, because I'm not exactly "handy," and couldn't jimmy the lock. Figures. On that note, I think I'm going to bed early tonight. Ha! Have a great weekend everyone!

A Week of Memories

After a few long weeks, things finally started to settle down a little bit this week. Well...either that, or I've just become used to a faster pace and I'm getting adjusted. But in spite of a little bit of craziness it was a pretty good week. Work was kind of unpredictable, because there were a lot of special events going on, but with that there were a few opportunities for me to see my students in a different light, and that was nice.

Probably the highlight of my work week was a ski trip to Trollhaugen with the 5th and 6th graders at the school. Getting ready for the trip, I was a little bit nervous. I haven't been skiing in almost 20 years, but I wasn't really nervous for myself. There were a couple of students I was a little bit concerned about, for a variety of reasons, and I was just keeping my fingers crossed that everything would go okay. It's such an independent field trip set-up, and the kids have a lot of freedom, which can be both positive and negative, so I was a little bit of a worry-wart, but excited at the same time. Anyway, Friday morning,  I put on about 8 layers of clothes, stopped at Target on my way to work to pick up some snacks and an extra pair of gloves, and headed to school where buses would be boarding at 8:15. Some students were already at the school when I pulled in, and there was a degree of excitement in the air. I bundled myself up, helped get the kids loaded on the buses, and prepared myself for a long day.

When we pulled into Trollhaugen, the kids could hardly contain themselves. We all filed into the chalet, picked up our rental boots and skis, and headed out to the slopes. Considering how challenging it was for me to shove my feet into the boots, I was impressed at how quickly my students were outside, taking their required ski class. The instructors were fantastic. Every child was involved, even the ones who needed one-on-one help, and I was pleased. It took me awhile to adjust to being on skis, but once the kids got out of their class and actually got to start skiing on their own, I went with them, and that's when it really became fun for me. One of my students who avoids most things physical, and isn't terribly coordinated, came up to me and said, "Where have you been, Ms. P? I've been looking everywhere for you! Do you want to go down the hill with me?" So, I followed him to the line for the chair lift, and off we went. I've never seen myself as one to be afraid of heights, but I definitely had forgotten about how high the chair lift is, and how there aren't any bars or anything to keep me from falling off. Again, I was fairly confident in my own security, and ability to survive the chairlift without falling to my face, but I was nervous for a couple of my students who could easily be distracted by a squirrel running by, and plummet to the ground. It didn't help that the student I was riding the chairlift with found it necessary to demonstrate how to get off the chairlift, leaning forward while we were at least 20 feet above the ground. Anyway, I survived the chairlift and had a fantastic time hitting the slopes with the kids I work with every day. It was such a wonderful experience, for the students, and for me. It went better than I could've expected, and as we rode the bus home, I was exhausted but content. My kids had done so well, and I was thrilled for them. We got back to the school just in time for the students to pick up their things, and catch their buses home. When they left, I started thinking about my weekend, and what I had in store...

One of my friends had texted me at some point during the day, and we started talking about Valentine's Day. Clearly, I'm single, and quite frankly Valentine's Day has never really been my thing. I remember when I was 19 and dating someone for the first time on Valentine's Day, and I was hoping for something special that evening. I was disappointed when he went out of town with his friends, instead of celebrating with me. The next year, my boyfriend at the time came over to my place for dinner, which I was excited about, but before we even ate, he got violently ill, and had to go home. ***He passed that illness on to me, a few days later, and it was miserable. Not the best of memories for me. The following year, I was on my way back from picking up the Valentine's Day gift I'd bought, and I got into a car accident. Again...not the best memory. I think that was the day that I just said, "Forget Valentine's Day. Let's just do something on a different day every year." Ha! Honestly, I think my issue with Valentine's Day is that there are so many expectations, when you're dating someone. For guys, I imagine there's pressure to get the right gift, or make a grand romantic gesture. For me...and potentially other women... there's an external expectation that a significant other will MAKE that romantic gesture, and the day will be filled with flowers, candy, gifts, romantic meals, and PDAs. And for me...that's never really been what I wanted on Valentine's Day. Yes, it would be nice to have someone do something special for me, but for me, something special could be as simple as a card or a message telling me how they feel about me. Little things mean more to me than anything else. I'd be as happy with an evening in, a bottle of wine, and some small gesture to indicate that a man put thought into something I might like, as a night on the town, a bouquet of roses, and a fancy meal. With all of that said, though, as I talked to my friend, I realized that even though I didn't have Valentine's Day plans, that I could make some...with Charley.

I left the school after the ski trip (exhausted, and with noticeable hat hair...), and went straight to the store. I got Charley a new dress, tights, and some fancy new boots. I picked her up from school, and told her I had a surprise for her. I took her home, pulled out her new dress, and told her we were going to get ready for a fancy Mommy-Charley date. I fixed both of our hair, put on some make-up (lip gloss for Charley), and we put on fancy dresses. I stood there, looking at the two of us in the mirror, convinced that I would never forget that moment. We'd spent time together, being completely girly, and we looked like a million bucks. I slipped on a pair of high-heeled boots I'd purchased in Italy nearly a decade ago, and we headed out to dinner. After a day in ski boots, I'm not certain the heels were a great idea, but it really was fun to get all fancied up and go OUT. Dinner was great. We even ordered dessert (which we NEVER do), and then we walked around the mall for a bit. As Charley ran ahead, I watched her, smiling. As she ran back to me, after getting several yards ahead, an older man stopped me and said, "She is just adorable. I've got 4 girls, and she is just the cutest girl I've seen in years." It was very sweet. Naturally, I think she's the most adorable girl in the world, but I think what made her stand out last night was the fact that she was all dressed up and SO happy. She was glowing.  I was drained by the time we got home, but it was totally worth it and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

This morning, when Charley woke up, I gave her a small Valentine's gift. She looked me in the eyes and said, "You're very sweet, Mommy," and kissed me on the cheek. That was all I needed. And today, for the first time in a long time, it really has been a great Valentine's Day. On that note, have a wonderful evening everyone, and a great rest of your weekend!

Who Gave Her Permission to Grow Up?

I'm seeing some evidence of cupcake eating...

After one of my most challenging teaching weeks in a long time, I was really excited for Charley's birthday party this weekend. I knew I had a lot of prep work to do, because we were out of town last weekend, and I never got a chance to clean during the week. So, I did some picking up on Thursday night, but got started with the real deep cleaning pretty much right away when I got home on Friday. Cleaning for parties is always a bit of an ordeal for me. I want my house to look PERFECT when people come to visit...Especially people in large numbers! So I really spend a long time scrubbing, vacuuming, wiping down counters, etc. Friday evening was no exception. Charley fell asleep around 7:30, which gave me plenty of time to get things set up, with no distractions. By the time I finished, my place looked nice. Very clean. I should've taken a picture, because I stood there, looking at my finished product, well aware that within 24 hours the cleanliness would be a thing of the past. Ha!

Yes, this hat exists. Yes, she keeps flipping the braid over her shoulder.
Thank goodness I decided to keep her hair short! 

Saturday morning, we really didn't have that much to do to get ready for the party. I'd finished most of the grunt work on Friday night, so we had quite a bit of time to relax on the couch and take our time getting ready for the day. Charley chose her party dress, and actually let me do her hair. It was kind of a fun little bonding experience. A couple of people came early with some extra food and decorations, which was so kind and very helpful. Charley could barely contain her excitement.  She had her eye on the pretzel M&Ms that sat on our table ALL morning, but I'd told her she couldn't eat them until guests arrived. The minute the first guests walked through the door, Charley made a beeline for the candy bowl. She really is my child. Ha! When people started coming, I looked around my house and wondered if I had enough space. Within minutes, people filled the kitchen and living room areas, and sounds of kids running upstairs filled the entire house. It was overwhelming, but so much fun! From people I grew up with, to friends from our old neighborhood in Minneapolis, to new friends I've made in the last couple of years, I was amazed by the number of people who came to celebrate with Charley. The adults chatted and ate, while the kids ran around upstairs (coming down to get candy, of course), and it was great! After opening presents, the kids went back upstairs to play Jungle Limbo (one of her gifts), and kept themselves busy until it was time for everyone to go. It's nice that Charley is at an age where she and her friends can play by themselves for periods of time, without supervision, and keep themselves busy without getting into trouble!

Nap time?

At one point during the party, someone asked me if the 7th was actually Charley's birthday. "No," I replied, "It's the 8th." Which lead into a story of how 4 years ago on the 7th, I was told that I'd have to be induced due to low fluid levels. I remember going into the hospital that night, both scared and excited, knowing that I'd be leaving with a baby in a few short days. The nurses hooked me up to monitors, started an IV, gave me some medication to get things rolling a little bit, and then told me to get a good night's sleep, because I would likely start labor first thing in the morning. For all of you future mothers, if you're given the option to be induced at night, DO NOT take it. I didn't sleep at all that night. I was by myself in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, so I could only move a certain amount without accidentally moving the monitors. But that wasn't the bad part. As I tried to relax in my room, and prepare myself for what was about to happen, all I could hear was the screaming, yelling, and wailing of women in labor...clearly in excruciating pain. Let's just say, it wasn't exactly reassuring. I think there were several times that night when I wondered if I could just have my baby without actually having to go through labor. As it turned out, I went through much of the labor process, but ended up having a C-section late the following day. Although the process of getting her here was a pain to say the least, it doesn't matter, because she's here now, and I can't even remember life before Charley!

Charley's new headband...Thanks, Alysha!

Anyway, back to Charley's birthday party. After everyone left, I scanned the house to survey the damage. I was pleasantly surprised. The kids had picked up after themselves upstairs, and most of the food had been consumed. I found that all I really had to do was clean the kitchen and pick up the toys Charley had received. Lucky me! Charley fell asleep on the couch at 5:30 and slept through the night. It was incredible. I'd like to personally thank all of the people who contributed to her exhaustion! Overall, it was a great way to celebrate Charley's big day. We'd planned to go shopping today, but Charley woke up with a bit of a cold, so we've opted to stay in. She's wearing an Elsa hat and high heels, trying to do the limbo, at the moment. Ha! As I'm sitting here watching her, I find it hard to believe that she's already 4. She's growing up so fast! I really don't know where the time has gone. I told her she has to stay 4 forever, and while I know that's not possible, I kind of wish time would slow down a little bit. On that note, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

A Night in the Dells!

I think I've started the last few blog posts with something about how busy I've been lately. Well, that's still true, but the last couple of days (although exhausting), have been so much fun! Yesterday, after a visit to the doctor to address the crazy hair dye allergy, Charley and I went to the Wisconsin Dells with the gymnastics team I've been working with. My boss, Barb, picked us up, and we started on a road trip. We had two groups of girls competing yesterday, so we didn't have a lot of time once we got there, before Barb had to get to the gym and get the group warmed up. Charley and I didn't go to the first session, because she hadn't napped on the drive, and I was fairly certain she wouldn't survive ANY gymnastics, if she didn't have a break. So we spent some time at the hotel, running around, and getting some rest, before going to the later session at the gym. After eating a real meal, playing in the arcade for awhile, and resting in the room, we were both finally ready to go to the meet. By the way... we spent over an hour in the arcade, and I didn't spend a dime. I'm so grateful that Charley doesn't really play video games, so she didn't realize that she had absolutely no control over the machines, that were playing in Demo Mode over and over again. She spun steering wheels, sat on motorcycles, and cheered herself on....never once realizing that she wasn't actually playing. At some point, she'll put the pieces together and I'll actually have to pay for her to play, but for now, what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? Ha!

Charley and Chelsea...Team Cheerleaders!

We caught a ride with one of the gymnasts and her dad, and made our way to the meet around 6. My USA Gymnastics certification isn't currently registered with the gym I'm at, because originally, my boss hadn't intended to have me come to meets. So, I sat in the audience with the parents and watched from the background. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a coach sitting in the bleachers? It had nothing to do with the parents. In fact, I think they like having me there, because I can explain the scoring to them, and they are all really wonderful people. The problem is, I'm standing there during warm-ups, seeing little corrections the girls need to make before they compete, but I'm too far away for them to hear me! At one point, I got close enough to the girls as they warmed up for floor, that Barb was sending them to me for corrections at one end of the floor, but other than that, I felt so helpless knowing that I could give the girls a pep-talk if only I could get closer to them! Anyway, their warm-ups weren't great, but when it came time to compete, the girls did GREAT! I was really proud of them. Their routines were rewarded, too, with several first place finishes and the team placed second out of 10 teams. 

The only thing that put a damper on the night was a little boy (the brother of someone from another team) who said something mean to Charley. At one point, during awards, Charley came up to me and said, "Mommy, that boy called me fat!" "What?!" I asked her. "He keeps saying, "Fat Girl, Fat Girl," she told me. I knelt down and told her, "Don't you ever listen to someone who is calling you names. You're perfect just the way you are. Don't play with that boy anymore." I stood there, stunned. She's three. The fact that a little boy would taunt her, and talk about her weight made me disgusted. A few minutes later, I saw the boy peeking his head out from behind a mat. "Fat Girl!" he yelled, and then hid behind the mat with his friend. He peeked out again, saw me coming, and quickly hid behind the mat again. And what did I do, when I walked up to him? I scolded him. I never saw myself as one to scold other peoples' children, but in this case, I felt I was justified. "How old are you?" I asked him. "Six," he replied. "You are picking on a little girl who is 3 years old. That's not nice. You hurt her feelings. When you call people names and pick on them, they won't want to play with you. You shouldn't speak that way to a little girl EVER again," I lectured. The boy nodded, and you know what? He was nice to Charley after that. I saw him seeking her out to play with her...with me watching like a hawk... and he was playing nicely. It might not have been my place to scold someone else's child, but I'm not going to just let someone give my kid a complex at 3 years old! Ugh.  I wished I'd known where his parents were, because I probably would've had words for them, too. Anyway, although that left me with a bad taste in my mouth, the actual competition went well, Charley was well-behaved, and the team awards, we went back to the hotel tired, but happy.

This morning, Charley and I took our time getting ready. Barb left early to get the next group of girls started at the meet. Charley and I had breakfast, packed up the car, and then drove over to the meet to catch as much of it as we could. We got there in time to catch three out of four events. The girls looked a little bit nervous, but I expected that, because this group of girls was younger and for most of them, it was only their second meet. They were doing pretty well, until they got to beam. Again, I was on the sidelines, but as I watched their routines, and saw the corresponding scores, I felt like something was wrong. Barb came over to me, and said the judge wasn't giving the girls credit for their dismount. She went over to the meet referee to contest it, and the referee backed the judge's score, but said if we could find that it was acceptable in the rule books, they would give us the points back. So I got online, pulled up the rule book, and guess what? We were right. So, basically the judge had to go back and change all of our girls' scores. It was a lot of back and forth, and our team held up awards for a long time. A LONG time. But we wanted to make sure our girls got credit for the routines they performed. Then, they started calling beam scores, and none of our girls were in the top 8. That was a huge red flag, because we'd had some decent scores, so we went back and checked, and sure enough, the scores hadn't been changed in the computer. Again, there was a lot of back and forth. In the end, several of our girls were called up for the wrong placements, including one who placed first all-around, but got called up for second place, which I thought was a bummer for them. They all walked away with awards, but it would've been fun for them to be called up for the awards they'd actually earned...Which were generally, significantly higher. Anyway, the miscalculations impacted our team score, too, so while we were called up to receive the third place team award, I'm pretty sure we'd actually taken second. But after nearly two hours of going back and forth with the judges, Barb and I were both so exhausted, we just decided the actual totals would be posted online, and we'd see our real placement there. The bottom line is, our girls did a fantastic job, and I'm very proud. 

We drove home right after the meet, and Charley crashed within 10 minutes. She was such a trooper, in the gym for two days in a row, and she really didn't get crabby until the very end of today's session.  Overall, it was a really fun (albeit fast and STRESSFUL) trip. It was exciting to see the girls I've been working with perform so well. There were little blips in performances here and there, but those will work themselves out with more competition experience. After their performance this weekend, I can't wait to see how these girls do in their next couple of meets! With that said, I'm COMPLETELY wiped. Have a great weekend everybody!

What a Weekend!

So, the last couple of weeks have been very stressful. I've got my plate full at work, I've been busy with appointments outside of work, and as usual, Charley has been keeping me on my toes. On the bright side, I've been going to sleep easily every night! Ha! Honestly, things really haven't been bad, just busy, but when I'm given the opportunity to slow down and relax, I'm not very good at doing so, so really I can only blame myself for the stress. I will say, though, that with all of the meetings, paperwork, and appointments that have been keeping me busy, they all kind of blend together in my mind, and my memory really only stretches as far back as last weekend, so I suppose I should just start there.

Friday was a crazy day for me. Someone mentioned that Mercury is in retrograde, and if you know me, you know I totally believe in that kind of thing (just like a full moon) impacting people. Anyway, by the time I picked Charley up from school, I was exhausted. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner, which is a bit of a treat for us. She decided on Noodles and Company, and we had a little Mommy-Daughter date, which was amazing. We sat down at the table, and she said, "Mom, would you like to have a conversation?" "Of course!" I replied, " What would you like to talk about?" She went on to tell me about her day at school. She has a crush on the cutest little boy, and she made sure to mention how he had gotten an accident report because his friend kicked him. Then, she started asking about my day at work. She asked about my friends, too. Honestly, Charley is so hilarious to me. What preschooler asks her mom if she wants to have a conversation? But it's just so.... Charley.

Saturday was our day to relax and do nothing. Unfortunately for Charley, she has a mom who isn't very good at just sitting around the house all day. So, shortly after we got up and dressed, we went to the mall to get Charley new shoes. She'd had a bunch of shoes and boots, but I swear, her feet grow like you wouldn't believe, and only one pair seems to fit! Anyway, we went shopping, and naturally Charley went for the sequined, sparkly, light-up shoes that would attract the most attention. She put them on and proudly walked around the outdoor mall, stomping her feet at every opportunity, making sure to tell every passer-by that she got new Twinkle Toes. From there, we ran errands, and finally made our way home late in the afternoon and we really did relax after that. With Charley's birthday just around the corner, we decided to make a practice batch of birthday cupcakes, because the last time I tried to make her a birthday cake, it was a complete disaster. The cupcakes actually turned out pretty well, except for the fact that I forgot to buy cupcake wrappers, thus they all ended up slightly deformed because chunks were stuck to the pan. Whoops! Ha...Typical. We really had fun decorating, though, and I'm feeling fairly confident about making cupcakes for her birthday party. Speaking of birthday parties, Charley has been getting a LOT of birthday invitations lately. And her friends parties? They're at gymnastics gyms, bouncy house gyms... They're expensive parties. And the parents are inviting EVERY kid in her class! I love that Charley has friends at school, but this is not the year that she will be inviting school friends to her party. The thought of having 25 preschoolers running around my house makes me hyperventilate a little bit, and I'm not spending $500 on a birthday party for a 4-year-old. Ha! Sorry, that was totally off-topic. Back to the weekend...

Sunday I decided to get my hair done. I looked around for salons that are actually open on Sundays, and found one that wasn't too far away. Charley and I walked in, and immediately, I was struck by the fact that I LOVED one of the stylists' hair. Fortunately, she approached me and got started on my hair fairly quickly. It was a Sunday, so the salon wasn't really that busy, and at one point the only people there were two stylists, Charley, and me. Of course Charley made friends with the stylists instantly, and they chatted with her while my hair was processing. My stylist put a toner (she called it a "glaze") on my hair to even out the color, which made me a little bit nervous. I've had allergic reactions to hair color in the past (about 10 years ago), which I'd told her, but she didn't seem to think this product would make me react. So I went with it. Remember this, it comes into play later... Anyway, a few minutes later, a man walked into the salon. There was no receptionist, so who felt the need to approach him and offer assistance? Charley. "Can I help you?" she asked. The stylists, who weren't expecting that from a 4 year old, just about lost it laughing. The man, who apparently was a regular, because the stylists knew who he was, played right along. He told her he needed to check in for a haircut. "Can I get your phone number?" Charley asked, and she started punching numbers into the computer. "You've got a scholar on your hands," my stylist said. I smiled and agreed. Just another moment that captured Charley's essence. She's definitely an old soul. Anyway, the stylist finished my cut and color, and Charley and I headed home. It was a pretty wonderful salon experience...and then...

Yesterday, I woke up and I felt my scalp itching a little bit. "CRAP!!!" I thought to myself. I knew I should've trusted my gut about that stupid hair color. Sure enough, over the last two days, I've developed hives on my scalp. Who is allergic to hair color, seriously?! Oh yeah... me. I'll say the color looks fantastic, but my scalp? Yikes! I mentioned it to a couple of my co-workers, fearing they noticed me itching my scalp and wanting to reassure them that no, I do NOT have lice. I just have weird skin allergies. Thanks for those genetics, Dad. I was on the phone with one of my friends earlier, and I said, "Want to hear a funny story?" and proceeded to explain that I'd had my hair colored over the weekend. She responded before I even finished my story. "Aren't you allergic to hair dye? Did you have a reaction?" she asked. Ha! Apparently, I'm predictable. Ask any of my girlfriends from high school, they'll tell you I'm the one who has ALWAYS had weird allergies to everything...and should probably live in a bubble. And this hair color experience? It was my own fault, I should've insisted that nothing touch my scalp. Definitely NOT a mistake I will repeat in the future!

Wow, that was a lot of information for a blog! I'm headed to bed, but have a great week everyone! And if you happen to see me scratching my head (literally), don't feel the need keep your distance...Ha!

Dear Charley: Part Two

The last couple of weeks have been incredibly busy. Since going back to work after the holiday break, I feel like I've been so busy, there are times when I look at the clock and wonder where the day went! That's good for me, though, because I'm most productive when I'm busy. With that said, my last post was primarily about myself and how the last few years have changed me. So, I thought I'd go for something a little bit more fun in this post. Charley's birthday is coming up in a few weeks (HOLY CRAP, I'm going to have a 4-year-old!), and in her honor, I thought I would do an updated, "Dear Charley." She's grown up so much, and there are many things I'd like to say to her. 

Dear Charley,

I understand that whining and pouting are part of a phase, and totally age appropriate. But can you make this phase pass quickly? I know that girls tend to be a little bit on the dramatic side, but pouting and crying because I told you that you couldn't put a wet towel on my throw pillow is really unnecessary. I also will not search the house for a bead that fell off of your necklace a week ago, that you NEED to have for school, and you ask me to find for you 3 minutes after we were supposed to leave. It doesn't matter how much you whine. You will just have to go to school without your bead.  I will continue to ignore the crying over nonsense, because you DO eventually get over it and return to my happy, hilarious little girl. Again...let's make this phase pass quickly!

Love,
Mom


Dear Charley,

I know I let it slip that you make me feel like an idiot when we play Memory. It's true. You are incredible at Memory, and I'm not sure I will ever beat you.  However, I only said the word idiot one time. You may not laugh and call me an idiot every time you get a match. And please do not say that to your friends at school. I'd hate to know what the teachers would think of me, if you started calling your friends idiots! We will group that word in with your bathroom words. You can only say it in the bathroom.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I think it's adorable that you refer to Oscar as your brother. But when you're telling people the story about the time he ran away (across the street), could you please clarify that Oscar is your dog-brother? When you tell your teachers that your brother ran away, and he doesn't live with you anymore, but you get to see him soon...well...they start to wonder. It's probably equivalent to the time that I had an argument with your Auntie Allie just before preschool, and I told my teachers I wished things were better at home. I will give you credit, though. Although you left out the fact that Oscar is a dog, you actually told his story quite well. I'm impressed.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I love the fact that you want to tell me everything that happened throughout your school day. I find it especially amusing that the first thing you do is tell me who hit whom, who threw a tantrum, who cried for mom at nap time, and who had accident reports sent home. The fact that you remember every event that occurred during the day is hilarious. You're just like me, in that sense. I also think it's adorable when you get out your notepad, and tell me you're writing an accident report. You are the most creative, imaginative girl I know.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

Charlie Brown's Christmas clearly made an impact on you. In the last few weeks, I think I've heard you say, "Oh, good grief," and, "Oh, for goodness sakes," at least 20 times. While most of your friends will probably never use these terms in their lives, I think it's wonderful that you do. It's like you're a little girl growing up in the 50s. It's adorable. You can say those things as often as you want.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

When you take out your toys, it is your responsibility to put them away. Yes, I will help you clean up. However, when you hold one toy in your hand, while I load your toys into their bins, I am not helping you... I am doing your job for you. You can cry and whine as much as you'd like, but I will not clean up your mess without your help. On a different note, when you DO participate and put your toys away without complaining, I am more than happy to help you. I might even sing the clean-up song with you, if you're lucky. And when we're all finished, I promise not to get mad (at least on the outside) when you walk into another room and immediately make another mess.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I love the fact that you have no shame, posing for the camera. Due to a recently revealed picture, I'm certain that your Auntie Kelsey taught you to make your kissy-face for the camera. You're definitely a free-spirit and your sense of humor amazes me. You're charming, silly, and always full of personality. In this sense...never change.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I know that the day I took you to Children's Place and let you pay for your accessories (one of your favorite words) with your gift card was a very exciting experience for you. The look on your face was priceless. It was also frightening. Mostly because you were WAY too comfortable swiping that 'credit card.' It makes me nervous for your teenage years. Although you won't have your own credit card, so I guess I'm safe for awhile. Anyway, I loved watching you pay for your necklace and bracelets. You're growing up too quickly, but I love the spunky little girl you are.

Love,
Mom

Cheers to 2015!

So, it's 8:00 on New Year's Eve, and what am I doing? Blogging. Charley and I had plans tonight, but when I had to pick her up from school sick on Monday, I opted to cancel. Now, of course she's been totally fine all day, but I suppose it was probably the responsible thing to do, staying home. I mean, nobody wants a sick kid at a party! Anyway, we had a pretty nice evening. We made pizzas, had a dance party (at her request...she wanted to dance to Usher's Scream...awesome parenting, I know), played Memory (yes, she beat me again), and settled in to watch Frozen. I think the movie was about 20 minutes in, before she fell asleep in her play room. I stayed up there and watched the movie for a little bit longer, because, honestly, I think it's a great movie. I've known all the songs for months, and my students have been borderline obsessed with it for the last year, but I never sat down to watch it until a couple of days ago. As a bit of a Disney snob (I'm partial to the classics), I was admittedly impressed. I like it. I'll probably watch it again. Ha!

Anyway, seeing as it's New Year's Eve, I suppose I should reflect on the last year and make some resolutions for the next year. It might get a little bit lengthy, but you've been forewarned. I'd like to reflect on the last couple of years though, because as time goes on, I can see myself changing into the person I actually want to be. I'll start with 2012...

 2012 was a life changing year for me. I had to come to the realization that my marriage was over, and move on with my life. While the breakup was terrible for me, I think part of that was due to the circumstances, but the other part of that was due to the fact that it was my first breakup...ever. I never knew what it was like to end things with someone, and have that feeling that things would never be the same. It was without a doubt, the most difficult, life changing year I've experienced so far. But it also jumpstarted some things in my life. While I had great friends in Vegas, I had no family out there and it never quite felt like home. In 2012, I moved home, into a place of my own, for the first time in my life. I'd never been without a roommate or spouse, so it was a totally new experience for me. I wasn't exactly rolling in money, when  I was in Vegas, but at least I was splitting the bills. When I moved out on my own, my household income was essentially cut in half, and the amount I was expected to pay every month basically doubled. Talk about a humbling experience. But I figured it out and made it work, and I'm so grateful for that experience, looking back. I learned how I deal with personal and financial pressures (not well at the time), and finally learned to stand my ground.

2013 was a year of personal growth. While 2012 was filled with trauma, emotional scars, and financial difficulties, 2013 was the year that I dealt with all of those issues. I dated a lot, for the first time in my life. I met a lot of great people, and a lot of not so great people. But I needed the experience. It only took me a couple of months to realize that I'm a terrible serial dater. I spent a long time kind of feeling like I wasn't a priority in my marriage, and when men were so quick to make me a priority, it honestly freaked me out. I guess I thought that making me the center of their world right away indicated that they just wanted a girlfriend...not me in particular. And I wasn't used to all of the attention from different directions. I didn't really (and still don't) like it.  It just goes to show that, at the time, I wasn't emotionally ready to settle down. I wanted to be...but I wasn't. Meanwhile, I started a business with a close friend and my step-dad in 2013. It was such an exciting venture, and I couldn't wait to make it a success. Unfortunately, an awful lot of circumstances hit right around the time we were trying to get it off the ground, and it didn't work out. That was really hard for me. I don't like letting people down, and I know that I wasn't able to do what I'd hoped I could do with the business. It wasn't a good feeling. I finally had some closure with the business in 2014, and I'm very grateful for that. While I wish it had turned out differently, I definitely learned from the experience. On a more positive note, 2013 brought about a wonderful job opportunity for me, too. I started working in the classroom again, and I don't think the job could have come up at a better time for me. I needed it. Not just financially... I needed everything about the job. Challenges, laughter, thinking on my feet...It definitely was meant to be, for me.

2014 was a year of settling in. I learned a lot about myself in 2013, but 2014 is when I did most of my mental processing. Yes, I'm a teacher, I process EVERYTHING. I took risks. I figured out who I am right now, and who I want to be, and started to make changes. I made new friendships. I learned to listen to what others have to say, and consider their opinions...but ultimately stand by my decisions. I mean, I've never been an idiot, but there have been many times in my life where I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat, in both personal and professional settings, simply to keep the peace. I now try to take a more diplomatic approach to discussions. Hear all sides, then come to a conclusion and actually VOICE my opinion. I still have my peacemaker moments, but that's something for me to work on in the next year. 2014 was the year in which I took a chance and moved away from everybody I'm close to. I kind of ventured off on my own, with Charley, and started a new life. My mom asks me sometimes if I'm lonely, living so far away from the girlfriends I grew up with. Honestly, there are times when I wish I lived closer...and of course I wish I could see my friends more often...but I'm really happy living outside of the city. It's strange, even when I was married and living in Vegas, I had visions of living in Forest Lake (which is TOTALLY random, because at the time I had legitimately no ties there)...maybe that's why I wasn't completely surprised to get the teaching job in Forest Lake...kind of like it was meant to be. Anyway, back to my point...I like it here. In fact, I'll probably end up moving further north (i.e. further from the cities) this summer. While I love my neighborhood, and EVERYTHING about it, I now have two jobs that are considerably north of where I live, and I have to backtrack to pick up Charley when I'm going between the two jobs. So, logistically, it just makes sense to move north. Now, of course that's not as easy as it sounds...The rental properties are slim pickings...but I know the right place will come along at the right time. Back to settling in... I also left a wonderful coaching job this year, and found another coaching job that's just as fantastic. I've always felt at home in the gym, regardless of where I've worked. Sometimes it takes parents and coaches awhile to warm up to a new coach, but I've been very lucky here in Minnesota. At both gyms I've been embraced quickly, and had really fantastic experiences. I certainly feel lucky to have come across my current coaching job, because I'm really getting to coach competitive girls again, and that's exciting for me. It challenges me, and I certainly do enjoy a challenge! I'm also working with wonderful coaches and parents, so I definitely feel settled in that gym. I guess the most important thing I accomplished in 2014 is that I finally began to feel like I became ME, if that makes any sense. I'm going to get all cheesy here, and relate it back to Frozen, but  there's a line 'Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know...' I think I spent a lot of my mid-20s concealing how I felt about a lot of things, but I'm past that. I've also learned to let go of the past and move forward. And that's exactly what I plan to do in 2015. Have a safe and wonderful New Year!

For those of you interested in my Frozen reference... Ha! Seriously, though, I know it's been way overplayed, but the message is awesome... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

***Since this post wasn't very much about Charley, I thought I'd include some of my favorite pics from the last year :) Enjoy!

Blown Away

This time of year has brought about mixed emotions for me, the last couple of years. I love the holidays. From the cheesy Christmas carols to the 8 million pictures of kids with Santa on Facebook, I love it all. It's wonderful. It's also very stressful. I remember Charley's first Christmas. It was the first year that I had a salaried job, and the first time that it was important to me to have a Christmas tree. Charley would've been happy with a cardboard box as a gift, but that year I was able to give her quite a few wonderful things. I was able to give to my friends and family, too. I've always liked giving better than receiving, and that year I was able to give. It felt great, to know that I could actually give my friends and family gifts they enjoyed. Fast forward three years later, and I am in a totally different position. I made a point to give Charley the best Christmas possible. Everything extra went to her. Which meant I wasn't able to give how I would've liked, to the rest of the people in my life. I know people understand. It's just a phase in my life, and at some point (hopefully soon), I will be able to give the way that I would like. But for now, it's just not possible. So, for me, just like for many of my students, Christmas can be stressful.

I'm not a terribly materialistic person. Yes, I grew up in Edina, and yes, I understand that where I grew up brings with it a certain stereotype. I had an amazing, blessed childhood in many ways.  And, as my sister and I like to say, we always had great Christmases. Presents and excitement were never lacking. I'd like to replicate that childhood experience for Charley, but I've accepted that her life will be different from mine. She will never again live in a home with both of her parents together, opening presents on Christmas morning. The holidays, and life in general will be different for her. She'll spend time with other families at night, because I coach several evenings a week. But all of that's okay, because she is safe, loved, and always taken care of. I can't provide the lifestyle I once lived, but I can provide a loving, supportive household, and I try my best to do that. And I want her to value friendships, relationships, family, and experiences more than material belongings. That's always been how I've tried to live my life. Anyway, all of this has a point, I promise...

Christmas Eve Dinner :)

I've always surrounded myself with good people. I pride myself on that. And since I've been back in Minnesota, I've been surprised every year by the generosity of my friends and family when the holidays roll around. This year was no exception. No, that's not true. It was exceptional. In a wonderful way. Like I said before, I was not really able to give much to others this year, including my family. But I was literally blown away by the generosity Charley and I were surrounded by this year. My family made sure we were both well taken care of, when it came to gifts, and Charley had plenty of things to open. I think that's the most important part to children, right? But the generosity began before Christmas, for Charley and me. Sunday night, I got a text from the woman who watches Charley while I coach. "The kids wanted to get Charley a Christmas present! Can she open it when she gets here tomorrow night?" That was so nice, and unexpected. And the surprises continued. I got a message from one of my best friends, asking me, "Can you pick something up at the Target in Forest Lake tomorrow?" I thought it was kind of a weird question, because she doesn't live anywhere near Forest Lake, but I just went with it, and replied, "Of course!" She told me it was just something she'd wanted to do for me for a long time, and Christmas seemed like the right time. So, Monday, during my lunch break, I made a quick run to Target to pick up my mystery gift. Imagine my surprise, when the customer service rep came to the counter with a KEURIG! I was shocked. Nobody had ever done something like that for me before.  It was totally unexpected, and I nearly broke down in tears when I got back to my car. She wanted to do something for me, just because she knew I could use it. "Having a Keurig is like having someone make your coffee for you in the morning. It just makes life so much easier," she said. "I know it's not easy to be in your position, and I wanted to give you something that would make your mornings easier." I won't lie, it's been amazing to push a button and have my coffee ready and waiting for me every morning... That was enough of a wonderful surprise for a lifetime for me, but the giving didn't end there. I got to the gym Monday evening, and my boss pulled out a bag that's bigger than Charley, filled with gifts for both of us, to put under the tree. I didn't even know what to say. I've been at this gym for less than two months, and I already feel like part of the family.

All I can say is that this holiday season, I feel blessed. Not because of the material gifts I've received, but because I have the most wonderful people in my life. I've gotten countless holiday cards from my favorite people. Charley and I spent our Christmas (and the days prior) with family and friends. We shared laughs and ridiculous amounts of food. I had the chance to actually put up a Christmas tree, and start some new traditions with Charley. I got to watch her face light up, when she walked down the stairs and saw presents under the tree. When I gave her the one gift I'd said was from me, she walked up to me without saying a word, hugged me closely, and said, "This is the best present ever. I love you, Mommy." She then proceeded to try to give me one of her other presents, as a present from her to me. The fact that she wanted to give something to me showed me that, when it comes to her, I'm doing something right. We spent the day with family, and the evening with friends. There's really not much better than that in life. So...yes, the holidays are stressful. But they're wonderful. They bring out an incredible side to people. And I'm fortunate to have the best of the best people in my life. Merry Christmas!

The Aftermath...

It's been so long since I've blogged about dating (probably because I like to keep the more meaningful things in that area to myself), but I've found, in the last week, that my friends and co-workers seem to find it amusing to live vicariously through me. Perhaps they just find it amusing that people can be so ridiculous, and they are just glad that they're not dealing with the nonsense I have to entertain. I had so many people last week comment on reading my blog post about my coffee date. People who said things like, "My husband's a mess, but I'm SO glad I'm not in your shoes." Ha! I agree... there are many times when I wasn't in my own shoes. I had one friend, upon hearing that my mom was watching Charley on Saturday night, say, "What do you have planned? Another hot date? " Ummm... not so much. "What did you say to this guy?" people asked me. "How did you tell him you weren't interested?" Well... I didn't. I'm ashamed to say that I avoided him, instead of directly addressing the awkward texting fiasco that I'd experienced last weekend. That is, of course, until this weekend rolled around.

I went all week without hearing from this guy, so I kind of assumed he'd gotten the hint. Then, on Friday morning, I got a text that said, I need to see you soon. Please and thank you... I chose not to respond. Friday evening, I received a text asking what I was up to over the weekend.  I did respond, and said I had a holiday party to go to on Saturday night. It was true! I didn't end up going to the party, because it was so far from my house, and after the last week at work (my co-workers know what I'm talking about), I honestly just needed to be by myself and get some sleep. Anyway, after I said I had a party to go to, he replied, Holiday party? Need a date? WHOA! No. I will not bring a man I've met once who didn't exactly make a good first impression to meet some of my oldest, dearest friends. I told him it was an invite-only party. That was my only lie, I promise. He continued to text, and I finally told him, in not so many words, that he wasn't the one for me. I didn't get a response. Until 2:30 in the morning. Are you awake? the text said. I almost wrecked some dipshit just now...and want to talk to someone and calm down. Ok, now I tend to be a nice person (I told my friend Katie that I might have to be mean to this guy, and she insisted I don't have a mean bone in my body...ha!), and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But this was ridiculous. Not only did his text wake me up (which I didn't exactly appreciate...don't interrupt my beauty sleep...it's not pretty), but it also indicated several reasons why this guy is single. First of all, why is a guy in his 30s getting into bar fights at 2:30 a.m.? Secondly, if he was that upset, why would he ask ME...a girl he'd met ONE TIME to talk him through it.  Clearly, we're not in the same place in life and DEFINITELY not on the same page. I did not respond to his late night text, and the next morning I blocked his number. Enjoy the laugh, I'm sure it's amusing...I can't help but laugh... I seem to be a magnet for this type of guy. But they repel me quickly. And they are exactly why I hate dating. Ha!

Charley spent the night at my mom's yesterday, and I probably should've gone out last night. I haven't really had that opportunity in over a month. But the last month has gone by so quickly, I really just needed some time for myself. I got some holiday shopping done, and picked up some groceries. I had intentions of making my grandma's famous pumpkin bread, so I picked up the ingredients, along with a few other things I planned to cook for the week. Without Charley home, it's much easier to do meal prep! Anyway, I got home and discovered I didn't have enough sugar (who runs out of sugar?!) to make the pumpkin bread, and I couldn't find the recipe for the soup I'd intended to make. As I told my friend Kellie on the phone later, at that point, I just said, "I give up," and opted to take a nap. After my nap, I had a great phone conversation with my friend, listened to music, and just relaxed for hours before going to bed. It was heavenly.

This morning, I picked up my princess, who seems to have developed a cold that has her nose running like a faucet. But she was glad to see me, and we had fun around the house this afternoon. She fell asleep just after dinner, and I'm hoping the extra sleep will ward off the germs! With the holidays just around the corner, my students can be a bit of a mess, and I really don't want to miss school if I can avoid it! On that note, have a great week everyone!

Coffee Dates and Gymnastics Meets... I Prefer the Latter

I can't believe I'm sitting down to write right now...It's nearly 10:00 on Sunday night, and I had an incredibly busy weekend! But I don't think I'll be asleep for another half an hour or so, so I suppose I might as well blog a little bit. The last week was crazy. I coached 3 nights, and the girls I work with competed over the weekend. That meant practices were very much about preparing the finishing touches for the meet, and making sure all of the girls' routines looked put together. They looked great in practice, and they did really well in the meet. I was proud, and very grateful for the chance to work with these girls. They're hard workers and they genuinely want to learn. I can't say enough about how much I enjoy them!

Now, I know yesterday was a Saturday, but as per usual, Charley woke me up bright and early. We met my friend for breakfast in Roseville, before I dropped Charley off at my mom's for a little while so she could see her for the first time in a few weeks. Given the fact that I had a little bit of time to myself, I did something I haven't done in a long time. A LONG time...I went on a date. I wasn't really that excited about it, because I knew prior to the date that the guy, although very attractive, wasn't exactly my type. I'm not talking physically here...I just mean I had an inkling going into the date that he and I weren't really on the same page. But he's been pestering me for awhile to let him take me out, so I finally agreed to coffee. It was kind of nice to have someone so eager to take me out, but I was skeptical. Anyway, we met up for coffee, and it was nice.  We talked about the typical first-date stuff, like where we grew up, what we do for fun, etc. There were a couple of red flags, particularly when he talked about how all his friends were married, and doing married people stuff all the time, so he never had anyone to hang out with. I get that. I mean, most of my friends are married or in relationships, and I'm not. But I'm not mad at them for finding happiness, as he appeared to be. In fact, I really appreciate the fact that they've found the right people. That makes me happy! But he seemed to be a little bitter about it. He also made some comments that were a little bit immature.  He's older than I am, so I guess I'd expected something different in terms of maturity level. Oh, well. When we finished our drinks, we walked to a nearby bookstore so he could pick out a card for a wedding he would be attending that evening. He walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye (yes, I intentionally parked in a VERY public setting, so he wouldn't be tempted to lean in for an awkward kiss or anything...ha!). Overall, the date was fine. It was nice to have someone so excited to see me and take me out. But honestly, there was no chemistry.

Apparently, however, that feeling wasn't mutual. Later in the day, I got a series of texts asking what I was up to, what I'd thought of him, etc. I found that interesting, because I'd made it very clear that I am put-off by people wanting to know what I'm up to all the time...Particularly early on...I know he was just trying to be nice (and perhaps was feeling a little bit insecure), and one text later in the day would've been just fine. But he wanted to talk all day. And some of the texts were...well...stupid. "Do you wanna flirt?" he asked me at one point. "Not really," I replied. Clearly he thought I was joking and attempted to continue the conversation, but I chose not to respond. I wasn't feeling it. He's a nice guy, but based on our conversation at coffee, and his constant texting afterwards, he clearly didn't listen to what I had to say. I guess I just got the impression that he wants to settle down...with anybody... Or have a fling. And I'm not going to be either of those people. I guess, what I got out of the experience was the fact that yes, of course it is nice to have someone chase me and take me out. It is nice to be pursued. But ultimately, if there's no substance to it, it's not really worth pursuing.

On a totally unrelated note, Charley and I went to watch the girls I work with compete last night. There were competitions on Friday and Saturday. I couldn't make it on Friday, but decided to hang around in Minneapolis on Saturday, so I could watch the girls compete. They were very nervous, but definitely excited to perform. There were a couple of falls here and there, and a few mistakes, but overall they did a great job. I was very proud of them. I wasn't working the meet, so I had to stay behind certain barriers, but I found myself coaching from the sidelines. I really can't help it...It's like the impulsive side of my ADHD...When I see an error, I have to correct it, and I have to do it immediately! Ha! I sat with the parents, and was able to explain the scoring to them a little bit. I think it was helpful to them, because I imagine if someone doesn't know about gymnastics, they probably just look for straight legs and pointed toes, and think it was a clean routine so it should score well. Unfortunately, there are so many more things that go into scoring, and most of them can be difficult to understand. So, it was nice to be able to explain it to them directly after the event, before I forgot! Anyway, I'm glad I went, and in spite of the fact that Charley was not on her best behavior (I blame the fact that she has a cold), it was a really great evening. On that note, it's late now, so I'm heading to bed. Goodnight!