A Crappy Start to New Year's Eve...Literally...

Alright, I'll keep this one short and sweet. For the last week and a half, I've been dog-sitting at my dad's house, while he's in Paris with my sister and stepdad. Life's rough, huh? Anyway, dog-sitting has been going great! The dogs are taking short walks every day, in spite of the frigid weather, no fights thus far (knock on wood)...Basically all has been well in dog land. Until today! My dad's housekeeper was scheduled to come over on Thursday, to clean up before they got home from France. She texted me last night, however, to let me know that she would be coming over today, instead. It wasn't that big of a deal. It meant that I will now have to pick up around the house twice, instead of once, but it wasn't the end of the world. I wanted to be out of her way, and usually she stays most of the day. So, when I left around 9 to take Charley to school, I asked her to let the dogs out when she had a chance. I was in and out all day. I let them out around 2:00, then went to pick Charley up from school. This is where it gets a little gross.

Charley and I got back to my dad's house, and the dogs were out on the porch. I called to the dogs, to let them outside, then opened the door to the living room, where I promptly stepped in a pile of dog poop. "EEEEEWWWW!" I squealed, as I felt it squish under my boot. I took my boot off, and raced into the other room to get paper towels to wipe it off. In the process, I managed to step in ANOTHER pile of poop in my sock. "GROSS!!!!!" I shouted! Then, I carefully removed my socks, while inspecting the somewhat camouflaging floor to make sure I didn't step in anything barefoot. It's like the moment it crossed my mind, it HAPPENED. "OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!!!!" I yelled. Poor Charley isn't used to me losing my cool, and started crying. I wasn't actually mad, I was just surprised, disgusted, and totally unprepared for crap that had apparently been intended to surround me. Yuck!

So Charley was crying, the dogs were outside, then my sister tried to FaceTime us from France. Her timing couldn't have been worse. Anyhow, I cleaned everything up, got Charley situated, then got another phone call. I wasn't on the phone for more than 2 minutes before I looked over and noticed that Charley was lying on her belly, making me a little present of her own. Now, 3 weeks ago, this would've been no big deal. But she's potty training...which means NO diaper. "Are you KIDDING me?!" I exclaimed. I rushed her to the potty...although of course she had already gotten most of the job done in her pants. In 20 minutes, I think I cleaned up more crap than I have ever dealt with in my life. Gross.

This, apparently, is how I was intended to spend the last night of 2013. Cleaning up crap. Metaphorically speaking, I HAVE been doing a lot of that lately, so maybe this was just the literal manifestation of what I've been doing in other areas of my life! With that said, Charley and I are going to spend our New Year's Eve at home tonight. I'm going to have a glass of wine, go to bed early, and think about how this crappy New Year's Eve must be bringing about a very exciting and wonderful New Year in all areas of my life. Happy New Year!

New Year Reflections

As 2013 comes to an end, I find myself reflecting on the events of the last year. There's no doubt the last two years have been the craziest, most up-in-the-air, yet exciting years of my life. I've had my share of ups and downs, and as a full-time single mom, I know there are many more of those in my future. But overall, I'm happy with the progress I've made in my life. I've become more confident, assertive, and motivated than I've ever been. I've also learned some things about myself that have surprised me a bit. I know I've said it before, but I'm very self-reflective. I'm always looking for reasons for my actions and the things that I do. On the outside, I might appear to be an extreme extrovert. Any of my co-workers would call me a liar if I said I was introverted. But in some ways, I really am. I carefully pick and choose what I share with people, and when things go wrong, I always think about how my actions could've been different, and what I would do if I was in the same situation in the future. I learn from my mistakes, but that doesn't mean I don't stumble a little bit, making the same mistakes a few times over, before I REALLY figure out how to make changes for the better. But when I figure it out, I figure it out. Then I DON'T make the same mistakes again. With all of that said, I've decided that as we go into 2014, I would make a couple of lists for 2013: Top 10 Events, Top 5 Revelations, and Top 5 Resolutions. This could be lengthy, so read at your own risk!

Top 10 Events
1. My divorce was finalized. Although I have been separated for more than a year and a half, at this point, it was only a year ago that my divorce was actually final. It set me free in a number of ways. Most importantly, receiving my divorce decree really gave me the closure I needed to put my marriage in the past. Even though I hadn't felt married for several months before I left Vegas, the finality of the divorce really was necessary for me.
2. I started a business, along with my stepdad, and one of my closest friends. GO! Gymnastics is still up and running, by the way. It's not something I can do full-time at this point, but it's going strong, and I'm hoping to watch it build in the next few  years.
3. Charley broke her leg. This was NOT one of my favorite events of the last year, but it did make an impact on my life. Poor Charley was incapacitated for several weeks, but she really impressed me with how well she coped. She managed to get where she needed to go, in spite of the seven pound cast on her leg. And my arms were like rocks for about a month and a half. Thanks for that, Charley!
4. I started teaching IN THE CLASSROOM again! This might be the most exciting event of the last few months for me. It is exciting, it's challenging, it drives me crazy, but it's also the best possible thing I could've done for Charley and me. I craved the interaction with students and teachers that I wasn't able to get through teaching online. The position is really a perfect fit for me.
5. I've made some great new friends. I know this isn't one particular event, but it's been so incredibly important to me. There's nothing like having old friends, and I always say mine are the greatest. They are! But none of them who live here have kids (except for you, Katie Maddaus), and it's honestly easier to socialize when there are other kids to play with. I feel so blessed that I actually LIKE Charley's friends' parents. They're great. It's a nice feeling to be able to know that Charley is going to have kids to play with, while the adults socialize.Plus, playdates are over before 9, so Charley and I both get to bed at a reasonable time. I must be getting old, but I need my sleep! I guess I feel like it's such a symbiotic relationship to be friends with your kids' friends' parents, and it's really a great perk to having kids! Thanks again, Charley, for expanding my social circle.
6. I completed the Tough Mudder. For many of my co-workers, the Tough Mudder was a breeze. For me, it was the ultimate physical challenge. The obstacles might have been easy for me, because I'm strong. But I absolutely HATE running, especially any sort of distance. So even completing a 10-12 mile obstacle course was a feat for me. I might have been the slowest participant in the history of the Tough Mudder, but I did it, and for me, that was enough.
7. My dads got married. After 12 years together, it was about time. I was happy to be a part of the ceremony, and can't wait for the upcoming reception.
8. My niece was born/I got to meet my niece! I am a sucker for kids (everybody who's ever seen me around children knows that), so it was really exciting to get to meet the newest addition to the family.
9. Charley started preschool. This changed my relationship with Charley drastically. It's a big part of the reason that my social life is lacking on the weekends. I always said I didn't want to have a child, just to send her to someone else and not raise her. Well, now that she's in preschool, it's a much bigger priority for me to take advantage of every minute I have with her, after I pick her up.
10. I sent Charley away to see her father and grandparents...without me. This was a huge step for me, because prior to this, I hadn't spent more than 12 hours away from her...ever. It needed to happen, but it wasn't easy for me. She was totally fine and had a great time, of course. I probably struggled significantly more than she did. But it also showed me that she is well-adjusted enough to know that she can be safe with someone other than me, and I will ALWAYS come back. It gives me a little bit of freedom looking into the future, too.

Top 5 Revelations
1. I haven't spent enough time with my old friends. I know I rave about them, and honestly I feel like I could call any of them at any given moment and know they'd be there for me if I needed them. But I haven't been able to give those friendships the attention they deserve. I haven't intentionally neglected my friends, but in the hustle and bustle of my life as a single mom (who now commutes about an hour and a half every day), it's easy to neglect those relationships that have always been intact. It's important to me that they know they ARE priorities to me, so I need to get out more and socialize with them.
2. I don't take enough time for myself. This goes along with my first revelation, I think. Spending time with my friends when Charley isn't around IS taking time for myself to have fun. I haven't really had the opportunity to do that in the last few months...at least not as much as I would like. I haven't had much Charley-free time in general, and by the time she goes to sleep at night, it's hard for me to spend a lot of time focusing on myself. I usually just do the dishes and go to bed. I'm so exciting, I know! But it's become a way of life for me, and it's something I'd like to change.
3. I have incredible people in my life. If what I've put out there in the world is being paid back in terms of friends, I must have made an amazing contribution to the universe. I seriously find myself surrounded by the most wonderful family, friends, co-workers. Shoot, my co-workers ARE my friends and many of them are like family to me, too. Not everybody is that lucky. Charley and I have great people who care about us all over the country, and for that, I will always be grateful.
4. I still have NO idea what I'm doing when it comes to dating. I've tried dating quite a bit in the last year or so. It's really hard for me! I think it can be a pattern for me to get wrapped up in things quickly, and then back off because I get scared of commitment. It's not that I want to date a lot of people. I legitimately HATE dating. But the thought of integrating someone new in my life, making somebody a priority...that's intimidating! I've already got Charley to take care of, and I'm so busy, it's overwhelming to think about adding another person (or people, if he has a child), into the picture. With that said, I'm totally open to settling down. That's really what I want. But I definitely want to build a friendship with someone first, and get to know them on that level, before talking about dating. I think that's been my issue with online dating. If you find someone you like, you rush to claim them (although usually it hasn't been me doing the claiming), and go from point A-Z in a fairly short period of time. For some people, that's great! For me, it doesn't work. I tried it once, and it really didn't work. Friendship works for me. It would be nice to be friends with a romantic interest before anything else, and to make that friendship a priority. This is what I'm talking about when I say I've made the same mistake several times. Rushing into things, then running away. Again, something I've now recognized, and will now change.
5. I'm still the ultimate people-pleaser. I have to give myself credit here, because in the last year I think I've gotten better at standing up to people and telling people things they didn't necessarily want to hear. However, I still have a hard time trying to please everybody. It's something I've done my whole life, and I'm working on changing it. Parts of my people-pleasing habits, I won't change. For example, I love to let people I care about know I care, in my own ways. I might text a funny quote that makes me think of them, or send them a post on Facebook every once in awhile. I like to do things for people that I think they will like or enjoy. But I'm beginning to address my issue of trying to please everybody and make everybody like me.

Top 5 Resolutions
1. Give myself a break! I'm going to aim for at least 2 nights out every month, whether it's with my girlfriends, or new friends...it doesn't matter. But 2, Charley-free nights every month, just so I can remember that I'm something other than a mom.
2. Never miss out on anything because I was afraid to take a chance. I made this resolution last year, and I think I'm going to continue it. I've taken a lot of chances this year. Some have panned out, others have not. However, I don't regret anything, because I DID take risks. It's a good resolution, though, so I'm sticking with it!
3. Have patience with myself. My goal is to trust that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes, that reason isn't apparent right away. Ok, this might not sound like much of a resolution, but I tend to want things, work for them, and get them fairly quickly. That's how I've been since the day I was born. However, it's made certain aspects of my life difficult, particularly my personal life. I haven't been terribly patient with myself, and I don't really cut myself much slack. In 2014, I'm going to try to relax just a little bit, and let life lead me wherever it does.
4. Stop trying to force things to happen in my life. I'm going to try, again, to let life take me where it's supposed to lead. I do believe that there are certain parts of life that are already in the works in the universe, and I just need to stop trying to control everything. If that means I'm going to be moving north in the next year, because that's where my job is, so be it! If it means I'm going to be single for another year, that's okay! If it means I'm going to settle down and start building a relationship, that's even better. Regardless of where life leads me, I'm going to stop trying to make things happen before they're supposed to.
5. Build my business. GO! Gymnastics has already hosted a number of events and parties. I want the business to really take off in 2014. I think part of me was always meant to own a business, but I also think that maybe I'm not meant to BE my business. I want to learn to delegate and help the business become even more successful in the next year.

Well, there you have it! That's my life in 2013...and what I'm hoping for in 2014. Here are some pictures that have captured my life in the last year.

Me, a year ago, at Lindsay's birthday party!

Charley, a year ago, playing at Beth's.

At the zoo, over the summer. 

Tough Mudder 2013

P.S. I want to give a shout out to my sister, Allie, who will be celebrating her birthday by the time she reads this. I love you Allie, and I'm so glad we've grown closer over the last few years!

Charley and me a couple of weeks ago. My crazy little handful!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Well it's been a week since I've blogged, and my life hasn't slowed down even a little bit! Since I haven't been working at the school, I've managed to squeeze in a few private lessons, do some Christmas shopping, and even bake cookies with Charley. It's been months since I baked cookies, but it seems as though I've still got it... Charley's happily gobbling them up! There's a reason I don't bake often, though...When I bake, I end up eating what I make! So, I'm peddling these cookies around like crazy, because let's be honest, at this time of year, I could really do without the extra sweets lying around the house!




I love this time of year. It's my absolute favorite. In spite of the -12 degree weather (which I royally despise), I just like being out and about during the holidays. For Charley, it really should be the holiday season all year round. She learned about a dozen Christmas carols at school, which she sings at the top of her lungs, regardless of where we are (the gym, the store, a restaurant, etc.). Oddly enough, most people seem to find this quality in her to be endearing. She is just so happy to sing, Jingle Bells, at the top of her lungs, and she has NO shame. People everywhere seem to just eat it up! I think Charley's finest moment, this holiday season, was when she called Santa on me, and told him I was naughty. I'm not exactly sure what I did to offend her, but it must have been significant, because I'm kind of anticipating a giant lump of coal in my stocking this year! Charley, meanwhile, has been making out like a bandit in terms of gifts! It's not even Christmas yet, and she already got a bunch of Hannukah presents from my dad and his side of the family,  as well as a ton of gifts from my students at the gym. I can't believe that the girls I teach got CHARLEY Christmas gifts, along with me. I just think that is so nice. We are surrounded by some really wonderful people. One mom told me today, "Our lives are better, now that you and Charley are in them." What a kind, and sweet thing to say! And I know she was being genuine, because she really is a great person. People seem to be nicer this time of year, and I really do appreciate that. Anyway, my point here, is that Charley and I are surrounded by wonderful, generous people, who love us as much as we love them, and that's something I'm very grateful for.

So, as is their tradition, my dad, stepdad, and sister went overseas for Christmas this year. They're in Paris! I, meanwhile, am dog sitting at their house. Thus far, the dogs have been great. My only complaint is that, while trying to transfer a sleeping Charley into her make-shift bedroom, I tripped over the door frame and completely wiped out. Talk about a terrible way to wake up from a nap! She screamed, but wasn't hurt. I had her pretty tightly wrapped in my arms, and she was still in her coat, so she had some extra padding. My legs, arms, and back, however, will be feeling the fall for the next couple of days. It was such a stupid fall! But not the first time I've had trouble WALKING. I mean seriously, I can do all kinds of acrobatics, but I can't walk on my own two feet. Maybe it's a result of being tired from all the work I've been doing. Ok, I'll be honest, I'm certain I'm overtired and was just being clumsy. Lucky for me, she wasn't hurt, and we both had at least a few minutes to relax for a nap.

We went to my mom's for dinner tonight. Traditionally, she always made lasagna, but she decided to mix it up tonight and make a different pasta dish. It was awesome, and over dinner we talked about how Santa might make a surprise appearance, when Charley went to get her jammies on. I took Charley into the bathroom, put her on the toilet (we're in the midst of potty training, and finding success with frequent bribery), and we heard some jingling outside the door, as my mom shouted, "Santa's here!" Charley shrieked," Santa!!! I went peepee on the potty!" Love it. She's very proud of her potty training success, and will tell anybody who will listen exactly how many times she's pottied in a given day. Anyway, Santa came by and brought some presents, which she gleefully opened. Her favorite was a set of Disney Princess shoes. Apparently the shoe obsession is hereditary.... And she can't blame me directly. It all started with her Nana!

Alright, time to get busy wrapping presents. We're going to Charley's friend's house in the morning, and I've got quite a bit of wrapping to do before the night's over. Lucky for me, I was able to get her from the car to her bed without incident tonight, and she's out for the night. Merry Christmas!

Feeling Lucky!

So, it's been awhile since I've blogged, but I've been so busy, I really haven't had time! I've got a LOT to catch up on. Today, I thought I'd focus on my new job, and Charley. When I started my new teaching job in the middle of November, I wasn't quite sure what I was walking into. What I've found, is that my new students are awesome, and I am totally at home in the classroom. I've finally got my own room, so routines are becoming more established, in spite of the upcoming Winter Break...which I'm certainly looking forward to! I haven't had a full day off since Thanksgiving, and even then, Charley and I were running around from house to house, so it wasn't terribly relaxing. I will definitely take advantage of the extra time to relax over the break. I've only got three more days with students, but who's counting, right? Ha!

The students I work with are amazing. They all have such distinct personalities, and sometimes they say the funniest things. Today, one student told me, "I'm not normal, I'm exotic." Another one went on and on about his girlfriend. He told me how she'd given him her phone number, and how he didn't just like her because she's pretty...he likes her personality, too. When he finished his story, he suddenly realized who he's been talking to. "Wait, why am I telling you this?! You're a teacher!" he exclaimed. I laughed. He's a piece of work. He's probably the most difficult student I've ever worked with, for a number of reasons. For one thing, he has a horrible home life. That means that anything established at school, stays at school, and doesn't really get reinforced at home. I asked him today if he's looking forward to the break. "Not really," he said. "I like it here. This is the first time I've ever liked school." While that's very flattering, I know that the reason he likes school right now is because he's comfortable with me. He knows he can push boundaries, and I will consistently respond with consequences. It's true, kids crave rules and structure. But at the same time, I choose my battles wisely. If the students are working on an art project, and he is working on a different art project, I leave it alone. If he's doing a similar task, and not bothering anybody, it's not worth getting worked up about in my book. But because of this, he wants to spend his entire day in my classroom. He knows that he acts up in class, and has a hard time dealing with authority figures. So, he'd rather not be in that setting. But he's a bright kid, and needs to spend more time with his peers. So, I spend much of my day trying different techniques to entice him back to his classroom. The problem is, as soon as I get him there, he'll do something to get in trouble so his teacher sends him back to me! Essentially, he's "in trouble," but getting exactly what he wanted in the first place. He's a work in progress, but I see a lot of potential in him, and if I can figure something out to keep him motivated to stay in the classroom a little bit more, I think he has a very bright future. Any of my fellow teacher friends have any suggestions? I've been using a token-reward system, and it was great for about a week. But just as I knew it would, the system stopped working. Kids are always keeping me on my toes! Any ideas would be appreciated.

Even though my students are challenging, I absolutely adore them. They keep every day interesting, and I know I'm blessed to have found them. They bring as much joy and excitement into my life as I could possibly hope to bring into theirs. I think I'm going to try to write down a student quote of the week. Last week's quote goes as follows:

Student (after losing his class' Christmas party): "There's NO magic in Christmas anymore!"
Para: "There is magic in Christmas."
Student: "No there's not! There's just crotchety old ladies, who like to crush my Christmas dreams!"

*Side note- I was equally impressed at a fourth grader's use of the word crotchety, and relieved that the statement wasn't directed at me.

I seriously enjoy my students for all of their quirks, and creativity, that's for sure!

So, I mentioned in my last post that Charley had gone to Kansas to visit her dad. I was really nervous about the trip, more for my sake than for hers. I knew she'd be in good hands. She would have a chance to spend time with her dad's entire family, and they are wonderful people. However, I knew I would be bored without her, and I'd miss her like crazy. I definitely missed her, but managed to keep myself busy, so I didn't think about it so much. I did some Christmas shopping, spent time with friends, worked quite a bit...I honestly did anything I could to keep myself distracted. When I drove to pick her up on Monday after work, I literally cried, I was so excited to see her. She was less enthused about seeing me, than I was about seeing her. But after a little bit of snuggling at home, she was over any possible annoyance with me for sending her away, without me. She's been much better behaved since she's been home than I ever could've imagined. I'm one lucky mom!

Charley and I were at a friend's house tonight, and my friend mentioned something to the extent that I seem to have a calling for teaching. She was at my house a couple of times when I was teaching online, and said she just thought teaching was the perfect job for me.  I think she's right. It's what I'm best at. Whether it's in the gym or the classroom, I understand how to communicate with kids, and most of the time, I can get them to do what I would like them to do. Most of the time. Ha! If only I could communicate as effectively in my personal life, as I do with my students! Maybe I would have more success...Huh, that's a thought to ponder.

Okay, it's time for me to get Charley to bed. Here's a fabulous picture of her with Santa, though! She had more success when her Nana and Boppa took her, than she has in previous years with me!