Family Dinners and Meaningful Songs

I love family dinners. Whether dinners are at my mom's house or my dad's, they are never short of entertainment. When my sisters and I were little, my parents made it a point to always have family dinners, so we could chat and catch up. I miss having those on a regular basis. Charley and I have family dinners, but it's just not the same when you're talking to a toddler! Anyway, tonight Charley and I went to my dad's house for Easter dinner. It's impossible to go over to my dad's and leave without some kind of funny story. Here is my favorite from tonight: We'd eaten dinner, and Charley and I were getting ready to leave, and take Kelsey back to my mom's house. Charley was shouting, "Baby Blue! Baby Blue!"  which is her name for one of her baby dolls. Scott, who is notorious for hearing things wrong, looked at Kelsey and asked, "What's the doll's name? Mr. Bloody?" Kelsey and I looked at each other like, "Huh?!!!" Of course we started laughing hysterically. Not only would it be incredibly creepy to have a baby doll named Mr. Bloody, but seriously, the name wasn't even close! I laughed until I was tearing up. I think that's one for the books!

Anyway, the topic of family dinners is actually pretty important to me. I think it's a great way to bond as a family, and find out what everybody is up to in their daily lives. I can't wait to have real family dinners on a daily basis, with my immediate family, and continue that tradition.

So I tried my friend's direct approach with Howie and AJ. I just simply said I thought they were nice guys, but I wasn't interested. It was easier than anticipated. I should try that approach with every guy, I think. Although I'm  not sure I will have the guts to be so direct with guys I actually like! It's funny, things are so different when I actually have interest in someone. Sometimes I think they're being coy (especially via text), and I try not to come off too strong, so I'm coy in response. But for someone who is as articulate as I am, I can always manage to stumble over my words in text messages! Have I mentioned how much I dislike texting? Just checking. Anyway, in ending things with Howie and AJ, I've decided to really follow through on my plan not to look for love anymore. I burned myself out on the whole one-date wonderland, and I didn't really enjoy it. It felt very superficial, and I'm not looking for something superficial. I'm going to let Mr. Right find me!Are there still people I'm interested in? Sure. But the way I see it, if they want to get to know me, they will pursue me. If not, they're just not that into me! 

In the last few weeks, I've been listening to a lot of music. I think it's because today, Easter, essentially marks the break-up of my marriage. Last year, at this time, I was miserable, and trying to figure out what to do with my life. Now, I'm totally happy and secure with my life and what I'm doing with it. Along the way, I've let music play a major role in my life. A year ago, I was listening to the following songs:
1. Long Gone (Lady Antebellum)
2. Stronger ( Kelly Clarkson)
3. Shattered Glass (Britney Spears)
4. Picture to Burn, and Should've Said No (Taylor Swift)
5. She's Gonna Make It (Garth Brooks)

Now, my favorite songs are very different. My playlist consists of:
1. Don't Ya (Brett Eldredge)
2. Jump Right In (Zac Brown Band...my current favorite!)
3. Could it Be (Charlie Worsham)
4.Cool if You Did ( Blake Shelton)
5. Crush (Lila McCann)
6. Just a Kiss (Lady Antebellum...this has been on the list for long time!)

I guess what I'm getting at, is the music I choose to listen to is reflective of my mood and how I feel. Last year, I needed music to build me up, and reassure me that I was going to be fine. Now, I AM fine. I'm even better than fine. I'm great. The music I'm listening to now is more fun, flirty, and reflective of my current attitude. A year ago, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Today, I'm positive, and confident that my life is going to continue to be great, and a wonderful man is going to sweep me off my feet. I'm looking forward to that, and I'm enjoying not knowing when or how it's going to happen.  But I know I'm ready to "Jump Right In" (listen to the song, it's awesome), and give love a shot, for the first time in a long time. On that note, Happy Easter!

 

Doing It All

So, today was an exciting day for me! Charley started gymnastics. She went into the gym, all ready to go and couldn't wait for class to start. She immediately befriended a little girl named Aurora, and those two had a blast throughout the class. Charley really did well. I wasn't sure what to expect, because she's never been in a structured class before. I was teaching another class in the big gym, while Charley was in the preschool gym and I could hear her squeals of joy loud and clear. When she came out into the big gym and saw me, she definitely got off task. She looked so surprised to see me, and yelled, "Mommy! Hi!" at the top of her lungs. I was all the way across the gym, working on beam with a couple of girls, and tried to ignore her, but it was impossible. She kept waiting until the coaches were working with other kids, and trying to sneak away. They finally took her back into the preschool gym, and she was fine, until my dad picked her up, and she realized I wasn't going home with them. He told me later that she recovered quickly. Not a surprise. Anyway, she did MUCH better than I expected for her first class, and I'm excited to see if she actually takes to it.

I mentioned before that I love teaching, right? Today was a great teaching day for me. I had a private lesson with an adorable little 7 year old dancer. Her mom is a dance mom, through and through. A very nice woman. But a dance mom. I don't think I've ever seen her so happy as I saw her today, though. The little girl, who I'll call Sara, had two skills she was trying SO hard to master, and she just couldn't get them at dance. So, we worked on the skills (a backbend, and a kick over) and after about 20 minutes, she had mastered both skills. Sara's face was glowing. She was so proud of herself, and it made me feel great.

Tonight I'm sitting at home watching a movie and doing a little cleaning. I was hoping to go out with my girlfriends, but couldn't track down a sitter. I'm actually really bummed about it, because I haven't had a girls' night in awhile, and I could really use a night out with some of my favorite people. Now I said I don't need to bash my ex, and I don't intend to. But this is one thing that really frustrates me. He never has to worry about finding a sitter. He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I, on the other hand, spend 95% of my time with Charley. The way I see it, I'm the lucky one, but it would be nice to be able to get out every once in awhile, and not have to worry about finding a sitter.

So, I was talking to one of my guy friends earlier in the evening, and just kind of discussing the differences between men and women. In his eyes, women constantly try to figure out men, and we'll just never be able to do it. He thinks I'm an idiot for "playing the game." He says that guys just want a direct question, and a direct answer. They don't want any beating around the bush, and they won't invest the time to figure a woman out if they can't get a quick read on her. I have a hard time being direct with men, though, and I think a lot of women could relate to that. Even the guys I'm not interested in. I have a hard time saying, "You're a great guy, but I'm not attracted to you." My friend, on the other hand, has said that to dozens of women. I can't imagine a guy just coming out and saying that, but maybe he's onto something. I prefer when people are direct with me, and I can be very direct in most situations. But I have a hard time being direct when it comes to dating, at least in the early stages. I think that's because I'm trying to feel people out, as much as they are trying to feel me out. I'm a very open, outgoing person and I will give everybody a fair shot...but I can be skeptical at times, and need to make sure I know a man's intentions. I guess I'll play it this way: if a man is direct with me, I will be direct with him. If not, I might feel out the situation a little bit. That doesn't mean I'm not interested, it just means I'm trying to get a read on the situation. Seems fair enough, right?

Alright, time for a teacher story. When I was in Las Vegas, my fifth graders got to go on a field trip every year. While I was working with the 5th grade, I set it up for all of the students to go to the gym I worked at, for their field trip. I coached in an incredibly low-income neighborhood, so none of my students had ever experienced anything like it. They were SO well-behaved, and had the greatest time learning basic gymnastics and dance. It was truly the highlight of the school year for them, and they talked about it from the time of the field trip, until school was let out. Well, I had one student, who I will call Brian, who had a particularly good time. Brian was a great kid, but a little rough around the edges. He was one of those kids who got blamed for a lot of things, but he generally wasn't the whole problem. Brian and I got along great, because I could see the sweet soul beneath the rough exterior. He could be a handful, but I liked him. He was dying to go back to the gym. One night, I showed up at the gym, and my boss played a voice message for me. Brian had called to ask if he could come back to the gym. "Ummm, hi, this is Brian from Mrs. Pierron's class. I am wondering if I can come back to the gym sometime. I'll be really, really good, I promise. I won't be loud or rude, and I'll pay attention! Please, please, please let me come back to gymnastics. Bye!" I loved it. I thought it was the sweetest thing. I hope Brian will get a chance to go back to a gym someday!

A Day in the Life

So, today was a pretty typical day in the life of a single mom. I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I left Charley with one of my girlfriends, and went off for about an hour to get what I needed done. It's amazing how difficult doctor appointments can be when there is a kiddo tagging along, least of all my kid! Anyway, the appointment was fine, and I went back to pick up Charley and my friend to go to lunch and do a little shopping. Of course. Charley had been great all morning, and she did very well at lunch. She was fine for about an hour of shopping, then it was melt-down time. There's nothing like carrying a toddler who was screaming, "ICE CREAM!!!" at the top of her lungs, out of the mall. I got looks of pity from the older women walking by, and looks of disgust from the younger generation (yes, I'm 29, and said younger generation). My theory is, once they have kids, they'll get it. I definitely don't love those terrible twos moments, but they don't really affect me anymore. I'm pretty good at ignoring the tantrums, until they subside. When they happen in public, though... Let's just say they aren't my proudest moments as a mom!

Anyway, after Charley's mall meltdown, we went home, and she was fine. She was happy as can be, watching the KU basketball game with me. The way she says Jayhawks is about as hilarious as the way she says leotard (use your imagination... you'll figure it out). She cheered them on, until the bitter end. It was a sad day for Jayhawk fans. I can't wait to take her to a game, someday. She will be an amazing little cheerleader! I think the season got cut short this year, but that's okay, there's always next year.*Sidenote: What happens when you take a bath after a very painful loss, and 2 drinks? Well, if you're me, you forget to wash the conditioner out of your hair. I washed it out a few minutes ago, and my hair is VERY soft right now. I guess I got an unintentional deep conditioning treatment!

I got several texts today from Howie (could I really date a Howie?) and AJ (the VERY nice guy who I'm just not into). Honestly, I don't think I'm interested enough in either of them to keep talking to them. So I haven't responded. These poor Backstreet Boys aren't faring well in my dating realm! It's interesting to me, though. When I don't respond, they keep texting. Then, I feel bad because I know I'm just not into them. At the same time, when I DO respond, I don't hear from Howie for days at a time. What kind of sense does that make? None! I guess it's part of the game! I would like to say I've got the game figured out. I think I do. Generally I like to play games (i.e. board games...ha!), but I'm not so into the dating games. I'll tolerate the game. I'll deal with it, if the right one comes up in the mix. But I'm not such a fan of the game. 

This brings me back to the topic of texting. Why has it become such a dating staple? Is it because it makes things less awkward as you get to know someone? I mean, I understand that point of view. Honestly, it's easier for me to start out texting, too! Talking on the phone can be nerve wracking, and awkward. I'd rather have the awkwardness of a phone call and get it over with, though. It's better than having the awkwardness in person when you can't pretend to listen, while watching Dance Moms throughout the conversation! Most of the time I'm pretty attentive on the phone, but if it's awkward or boring, I check out. You would think most people would notice when I check out. I know my sisters do! But some of the guys I've talked to can ramble even more than me, and that's not an easy feat! Anyway, I swear, the next guy to CALL me, will get a date. I might regret saying that...but hey, I'm willing to risk it! I mean, I'm WAY better on the phone than I am via text. Although, I talk a lot...I apologize in advance to any man who might actually call me!

Alright, let's talk about a teacher story...Today we're going to talk a little bit more about Jacob, the student I previously mentioned, who burned me with a hot glue gun. When we were building the chairs in his science class, which was a total fiasco, because I am SO not a builder (although I did manage to help 3 kids make nearly identical chairs that they could actually sit on), his dad came in to help one day. He watched me working with Jacob, and Jacob was having a particularly rough day, so I thought I made a horrific impression. However, I got a phone call at the school the next day from his father. He was impressed with my consistency with Jacob, and wanted me to do a little bit of work with him outside of school. I agreed, and started taking Jacob with me to the gym once a week.

Jacob was always a hit at the gym. He played with the kids, learned basic gymnastics, and got a lot of practice with following directions and having appropriate social interactions. The drive to and from the gym, could be interesting, though. One thing to know about Jacob, was that he was OBSESSED with words. He was notorious for reading any word he saw anywhere, so I was pretty used to hearing "real estate," or "no turn on red," shouted out from the back seat. One day, Jacob was talking to himself. He suddenly started saying, " Oh my GAAAWWWWD," over and over again. I corrected him. "No, Jacob, we don't say, 'Oh my God,' we say 'Oh my gosh,' or 'Oh my goodness." He thought for a minute. "Or, ' Oh my wolf!" he exclaimed, with a grin on his face. I started to laugh, because I had no idea where that had come from. Was it because he loved the Minnesota Timberwolves? Did he hear that somewhere? Then, sure enough, I looked out my window, and saw a law firm with the name Wolf in big letters on the building right next to us. I should've known. Jacob never failed to entertain me!

Sidenote: Charley starts gymnastics tomorrow! Can you tell I'm excited about it?!

My Mini-Me

So, when Charley was born, she looked nothing like me. She was the spitting image of her father. But at the same time, it was clear she had my personality. She’s been spunky, stubborn, and well, a handful since day one. So it’s no surprise that she currently shares some of MY interests. I guess that’s what happens when kids spend 95% of their time with one person. They pick up mannerisms, key phrases, facial expressions, and personality. It’s so much fun!

When people ask me about Charley I always describe her as a hoot or a character. That’s because she is so hilarious to me. She says things like, “O.M.G.” and “Charley’s so beautiful.” She consistently blames my sister for every bad habit she has picked up (e.g. “DeeDee says shut up,”). One of my favorite stories is about how Charley looked at my mom, and said, “Nana, calm down.” My mom tends to be a busy-body, and the comment was perfectly timed. It was classic. At bed time, we read a story every night. Then, when I turn out the lights she always requests The Three Little Pigs, followed by Goldilocks and the Three Bears. That’s not the funny part. Then she asks for Rachel. And by Rachel, she is referring to Rachel from Friends. So, I basically recite an episode of the show, and she falls asleep. Yup, my kid is one of a kind. Friends isn’t the only show she’s into. She also likes Modern Family. When she started yelling STELLA at the top of her lungs when we walked Oscar yesterday (just like Cam did, in one of Charley’s favorite episodes), I knew it had gone too far. That’s just Charley, though. She is completely a mini-me.

That brings me to the excitement of my day, yesterday. I took Charley to buy a leotard, because she starts gymnastics on Saturday. She was so cute, trying on leotards with her chubby little legs and her diaper! Unfortunately the cutest one she tried on was scratchy material, so that was quickly ruled out, but I like the one she ended up with. I am SO excited to see how she does in the gym. I started gymnastics when I was three, and was, according to my parents and coaches, incredibly focused. I’m not certain Charley will be so focused, but I don’t really care. I just want her to have fun, and get a chance to participate in a structured class. Again, I can’t wait! It’s a proud moment for a coach and former gymnast. It’s my first chance to see if she is going to be into my sport or not! I guess we’ll see…

I thought I would venture into my virtual classroom for today’s teaching post. I had been working with a little boy I’ll call Ethan, for several months. I noticed that some days he would come to class full of affection and praise (I love you Mrs. Pierron. I love you!). On other days, however, he would show up late, and crabby. The poor kid had a rough home life, and he really struggled academically, so I never knew what to expect. One day, Ethan came into class in one of his moods. He refused to use the microphone, and typed random letters in the chat box, instead of answering questions. Finally, I asked him to stop messing around, and answer my question. His response? He typed “F you,” in the chat box. He didn’t type the actual word, just “F you.” I had a hard time not laughing as I scolded him, telling him that I would not accept that kind of language in my classroom. I told him that I was going to remove him from the class for the day, and he would have to schedule a make-up time with me on a later date. So, I kicked him out. Two minutes later, he was back in the class, and typing away in the chat box, F you! F you! I kicked him out again, and this time he didn’t return. When I talked to his Learning Coach about it, she apologized and said he was mad because he was missing recess to attend my class. So, I rescheduled it, and I’ve had a happy Ethan, ever since.

Never Missing Out

Every year, people make New  Year’s resolutions. I am no exception. Generally, I make some resolution involving losing weight or getting more exercise before summer although that is as much for the benefit of the people who have to look at me as anything else (I don’t have to look at myself).  Anyway, this year I made a different type of resolution. I have decided not to miss out on ANYTHING that comes my way, just because I’m afraid of failing or getting hurt. This goes for my career, friendships, love life, etc. 

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist and I don’t like to fail. As a result, I haven’t been much of a risk taker in most areas of my life. If I take a risk, I could fail, and I do NOT like to fail. So, I’ve stayed kind of inside a safe little bubble, where everything is just normal. Not exciting, just normal. Until last year… When I moved back to Minnesota, it was a huge risk for me, but it is the best decision I’ve ever made, which is part of what lead me to this resolution. I missed out on things for a long time, but I won’t do that anymore!

I’ve already alluded to a huge business opportunity in my future, but I won’t elaborate on that until it comes to fruition. However, I will share my dating approach, when it comes to this rule. In the last month or so (since I got out of the online dating world), I’ve been told by the men I’ve gone on dates with that I’m hard to read. Generally they do this via text message, because they have asked me on a second date, and they can’t tell if I’m interested. Here’s the thing…If I’m interested, it is VERY clear. If I’m not interested in someone romantically, I’m still nice, so I imagine I am hard to read in that situation. That could be due to the fact that I’ve met more than my share of creepers and clingers in recent months, and I’ve learned to keep people at a distance for awhile. But that’s beside the point. I’ve had little to no connection with the men I’ve met in the last month, so they weren’t worth the risk.  

I have a good friend who tells me frequently that he’s non-committal, because he’s been hurt twice since his divorce. It’s easier not to get attached, because if he tries again, he could get hurt again. He can introduce women to his daughter as his friends. But going beyond friendship has been too much for him, because he doesn’t have control over what will happen down the line. Ultimately, though, he does want to settle down again. We’ve talked about this several times. And what do you know…he finally took the leap and committed to a woman (one who had previously hurt him, actually), and he’s as happy as can be. We’ve all been hurt. Everybody has been burned, including me. It has made me nervous that I won’t take the risk that I should with the right guy. But that’s what this year is about for me. Being willing to go with it, and take a chance, if I think it’s worth it. So if I start posting stories about taking risks and making out-of-character decisions, such as signing up for a Tough Mudder (no idea what I’ve gotten myself into), don’t be surprised!

Okay, time for a short teacher reference. I’m not actually going to tell you a story today. I’m just going to describe my 5^th grade classroom, when I was in my second year of teaching. This is the group we referred to as The Misfits. One of my co-workers once saw me interacting with this group and just said, "Lindsey, you're going to heaven." Maybe that's an indicator of the craziness of my class. First of all, I had 4 students who were 12 or 13 years old…in 5^th grade. That made for an interesting dynamic. I had Alex, the boy who laid outside the portable wearing a million layers, along with a pathological liar (he had stories for days, about going to Egypt, being born in Italy, having cousins who were princes, etc.), and  two…not one but TWO, students who were missing an arm. I also had a girl we called The Mom, because she looked older than me (one of the teachers actually asked her to sign her child in at the office….whoops!), an INCREDIBLE artist, an albino African-American student (imagine my surprise walking to the line to meet my new student…total shock! I loved him immediately), and a kid who brought me brownies every day at lunch while I was pregnant so the baby would come out all cute and chubby (he was successful).  Hmmm….who were the other stand outs? I guess I would say the girl who came during the middle of the year, with rocker hair, fishnet tights and corsets (yes, in 5^th grade). She showed up with a tongue ring one day, and I about lost it when I called her mom and found out she’d had permission to get it! There were other kids, too, all of them full of spunk and personality. I would say about 95% of the teachers hated my class. They were AWFUL in specials. But I loved them, and we had a great year in the land of The Misfits.

For a Reason

I don't know about you, but I truly believe that everyone in my life is here for a reason. From my family, to my girlfriends in MN, and my friends in Kansas City, and Las Vegas, even the guys I've dated...everybody serves a purpose. When I got my hair cut yesterday, I was reminded of how nice it is to have good people in my life, and I felt very fortunate.

I hadn't talked to Molly, my hairstylist, in several years. Molly came into my life when I was 7 or 8, and my mom sold her a house. I continued to see Molly for haircuts for many years, and somewhere along the line, I started babysitting for her kids. If I remember correctly, I started sitting for her when her middle son turned 2. He is now 16, and driving a car. Crap, I'm old! Anyway, I nannied for her family for several summers, and they really became like an extended family. So Molly was thrilled to see me back in MN, and, of course, was curious as to what brought me home, and why my marriage ended. I told her my story, and she was totally shocked and very sympathetic. But telling the story this time was a proud moment for me. It was a proud moment, because as much as people feel bad for my situation, and as much as talking about it upset me several months ago, I was completely unemotional about it when I talked to Molly. I guess I just proved to myself that it is so far in my past, it isn't even hard to tell the story anymore. I don't need sympathy. I don't need to bash my ex. I'm just that far over it. It feels great. We chatted awhile, she showed me pictures of her boys, I showed her pictures of Charley, and it was an amazing reconnection. Molly came back into my life, not just to give me a haircut (which is amazing by the way...Aside from my sister, she's the best), but to extend my family.

I mentioned before that I think every man I've dated has served a purpose, or shown up for a reason. I think that's true. Even if was only one date, and a bad one, it taught me something. Like the guy who took me for sushi, and ordered me all kinds of raw fish. I learned that even on a date, I can't bring myself to eat food that's not cooked because I'll go home nauseous. Or the guy who showed up stoned, and talked ridiculously slowly the whole date. He taught me that I need someone who can keep up with me in a conversation! Or the guy with alopecia. He taught me that I REALLY don't want to be the hairy one in the relationship. I talked to my friend Rena about that one, and she sent me this picture the following day:

Now, circumstances weren't quite THAT severe, but I didn't know prior to that experience that I NEED a man to have hair. I've had men come into my life to show me what a true connection is. I've had men show me what I will and will not tolerate. I've also had men show me how a real man treats a woman, and I learned from that. So, to sum up, the men I've dated have taught me that I don't like raw food, I can't date a stoner, and I want to date a man with hair, along with a few other things. Some didn't make much of an impact, but like I said, I think they have all shown up for a reason. 

Okay, time for a teaching story. Let me tell you a little story about a boy I'll call Jacob. When I lived in Kansas City, I took a job as a paraprofessional, in an amazing Special Education classroom. I worked with Jacob for at least two hours a day, in the general education classroom. I went to science with Jacob, and two other students every day. One of their assigned science activities was building a chair. Yes, I was working with three special needs children, who all wanted to build their own chairs. That was a nightmare in itself, but we had arranged for their parents to come in and help periodically, so that made it tolerable. Anyway, the students had to make a model of their chairs before they could build them out of wood. They used popsicle sticks and a hot glue gun. Jacob was a character. He had trouble holding the popsicle sticks the way he wanted them, but he INSISTED on putting the hot glue on. I decided I would let him put the hot glue on the sticks, and I would put them into the correct positions. It was going great, until the glue got stringy, and I was distracted for a minute. When I glanced back at Jacob, he had a mischievous look on his face, and the hot glue gun about an inch from my arm. 

"Jacob, no!" I shouted, as I felt the metal and glue press into my forearm. Crap. I don't know if you've ever been burned by a hot glue gun, but it hurts. Mostly because the glue continues to burn as it settles into your skin. I grabbed the glue gun, looked him in the eye, and he had a totally innocent, "Whoops," kind of look on his face. 

So, we returned to the resource room, where we could discuss what he had done wrong, and the appropriate consequences. Jacob was a writer, so I decided he should write the following, 10 times: "I'm sorry I burned you, Mrs. Pierron. I will not do it again."

He started out great. He had it written 5 times, in a matter of minutes. Then, he lost interest. He looked at me, scowled, looked back at the paper, and started writing again, with his arm covering the paper. I said, "Jacob, I would like to see your page, please." He sighed an exaggerated sigh, and passed over the paper. It read, "I am NOT sorry I burned you Mrs. Pierron. I WILL do it again." I had a hard time not laughing, because he was so annoyed that I had blown his little game. I made him start over. It took 3 times before he got the job done, but he never burned me again. Jacob was in my life for many reasons. One of them was to teach me never to take my eyes off a kid with a  hot glue gun.

A Teacher at Heart

I've decided to take a break from the dating today, and write about teaching. I am truly a teacher at heart. I love teaching ANYTHING. Whether it's long division, writing, or gymnastics, it's my absolute favorite thing to do. I love the spontaneity that comes with the interactions with children. They truly are hilarious. I also love that as a teacher and coach, I have the ability to help kids learn skills they might not have learned without me. It's a great feeling.

When I first went for my journalism degree at KU, I knew I was crazy. Sure, I'd gotten a scholarship, but deep down, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. So I finished my degree, then worked full time coaching gymnastics for a year. Not even a little bit related to my degree... but I learned a lot in that year and really fell in love with coaching. I like teaching school. I really do. But I KNOW gymnastics. It's the thing I'm best at. I can talk about shoulder angles, high releve, and body positions with the best of them. In recent months, I've thought that if a man I was dating saw me in the gym, he would see me at my best. Because when I'm teaching gymnastics, I feel completely at home. I was a good gymnast. I competed for a long time, made it to optional level gymnastics, and did well in competition. But I wasn't a great competitor. Not at all. I do think I've turned into a better coach than I was a gymnast. I have to give credit to a lot of amazing mentors I've had (Kellie, Michael, Mary, Kami, Eric, Jennifer, etc.), in my last 10 years of coaching, because I watched, learned, and became a better teacher. That's beside the point, though. I LOVE to teach. It is the most rewarding activity on the planet, other than parenting, and I feel lucky to be able to teach all day long.

So, along with my teaching themed post, I thought I would include two stories for you today, one a teaching story, the other a coaching story. Let me start with a story about a girl I'll call Carly. Carly was the cutest little girl, with buck teeth, and red hair. She had several significant disabilities, but she was very capable of learning, and she loved singing (it came out more like a yodel, but it was awesome). She had some trouble in her home life, with feuding parents, and they earned her love by spoiling her rotten, and that made school life a challenge, because she didn't get whatever she wanted. Anyway, she had a habit of throwing herself on the floor and screaming "Bull Sh*t!" at the top of her lungs when she was told no. She was doing it for the benefit of an audience. When she would start one of her fits, everyone would go to the next room, leaving her with one teacher or paraprofessional to keep an eye on her. The trick was, the instructional staff realized that if she didn't think anybody was paying attention, she would stop. So we would just sit on the other side of the room and ignore her. Occasionally, the screaming would stop and her little head would pop out from the other side of the bookcase, just to see if she was alone. The minute she saw someone, she would start it up again.

One day, I had taken Carly to the bathroom, and she requested to play with a ball instead of do her math when we got back to the classroom. I explained that she would do math, THEN she could play with the ball. She immediately dropped to the floor and began a, "BULL SH*T," rant. I just stood there, ready to wait it out. Suddenly, one of the stall doors opened, and a little girl came out and gave Carly the most confused look. The little girl looked me in the eyes, and said, "She must have brothers," and shook her head. It made my day.

Okay, now for a coaching post. It's not so much about the students, but about an incident involving me. When I was in Vegas, we didn't have any male coaches in the gym to spot, so I spotted a lot of higher level skills that a 5'3" woman generally wouldn't spot. One of those skills is called a Tsuk, when a gymnast does a roundoff onto the vault, and a backflip off. I had my two upper-level girls training the skill into the pit. Spotting in a pit isn't easy, primarily because you have to get your balance on a block that is consistently moving because it's not on a solid surface. Anyway, I gave the girls their instructions, walked to get on the spotting block, and with the first step, the block tipped, sending me flying into the blocks. The girls all ran over, to see if I was okay. "Girls, I'm in foam. Of course I'm okay. You can laugh, it was funny," I said (not to mention embarrassing, because all the parents outside saw it, too).  Once they'd gotten the "O.K." the girls cracked up, and I laughed along with them. It's not the first time I've wiped out in the gym, and it certainly won't be the last.

Alright, time for a quick poll. I'm getting my hair cut today. Which style should I go with? Any opinions?

Date Killers

I have to say, I am enjoying my Spring Break! I definitely won't be posting as much after the break, but right now, I've got the time to do it and I think it's kind of fun! Today, I got to go with Charley and some of our neighbors to the MN Zoo. The kids had the greatest time, and Charley slept like a rock on the way home. Win-win! I've attached a couple of pictures below.

So, for today's post, I thought I would talk about two things that I have found to be dating killers: text messaging, and a bad first kiss. First of all, let me broach the topic of texting. Texting can be great. It's an easy way to start getting to know someone. It enables you to ask questions, and get answers without being totally put on the spot. It's convenient. It's easy. But it takes the personal contact out of dating. Specifically, just as with e-mailing, texting makes it easy to misinterpret things. It also makes it less threatening to say things you wouldn't normally say over the phone or in person. Here's the worst part about texting. Once it's out there, it's sent. That's it. You can't take it back. And unless you're my friend Lindsay, who once pulled a maneuver with texting (somehow erased it before he saw it...she's amazing), there's nothing you can do about it. 

When you're on the phone with someone, or in person, and having a conversation, you might say something that could be misinterpreted. But you can explain your point, because it's in the context of a discussion. In text messages...no such luck. To be honest, I'm sure I have probably misread dozens of texts, and taken them to mean things they didn't. In some cases, the misread texts have lead to hilarious discussions and conversations. In other cases, they stopped me dead in my tracks...the conversations, too. My point, though, is that texting can be convenient, but I don't recommend it as a primary form of communication. Talking on the phone is my favorite. That way you get to hear the voice on the other end. I dated one guy who had kind of a squeaky voice, and said ummmm, after every other word. Had we spoken prior to meeting in person, instead of only texting, I would have been prepared. Lesson learned, lesson learned. 

That brings me to the other discussion topic. The first kiss.  When I'm on a date, and I can tell a guy is going to kiss me, one of two things is running through my head. 1. "Oh my goodness, he's going to kiss me!" OR 2. "Oh crap, he's going to kiss me. Head turn?" A lot of my girlfriends are against kissing on the first date. I'm not that way. That is as far as I am willing to go on a first date, but I'm okay with it, if the date went well. Here's my reasoning. Picture this: You're on a date and it goes well. It maybe ends with a hug, and you leave, and hear from the guy the next day. He wants to get together again, and you are up for it, too. So you meet, have a great time again, and when he walks you to your car, he goes in for the kiss. You're horrified! A bad, very bad kiss. If you would have kissed on the first date, you would have spared yourself the waste of time. Now, this is partly because I think that kissing is important. If there isn't a chemistry with the first kiss, it's over for me. Whether it happens on the first date, the third date, maybe even the tenth (although by that point, I'd be wondering why he hadn't made a move yet), a kiss makes a big impression. If it's awful, it's over (i.e. the guy who took off my make-up on the first kiss). If it's okay, I might give it one more shot. If it's great, then the guy stands a chance. But I won't waste my time with a lousy kisser.

I already posted this morning, so I wanted to keep this a bit shorter, although I wasn't terribly successful. Here's my student story.

My first year teaching, I had one student who was the bane of my existence. I'll call him Andy. Andy was one of the cool kids, and he was obnoxious. He called out all the time, during class. He got all the kids riled up with his loud, boisterous laugh.I knew it wasn't his fault. His mom let him hang out with his 17 year old brother and his friends. Regardless of the cause, Andy drove me absolutely crazy.  But at the same time, sometimes he came off as likable. There were a few occasions when he actually amused me. This was one of those times.

Andy had been absent for a couple of days, and came back to class in full force. He had been interrupting all morning, as he usually did. After lunch, I was working through a math problem on the whiteboard. My little sister happened to be in town, and she was helping me supervise the class as I wrote. Suddenly, I heard him call out from the back of the room.

"Hey, Mrs. P!" he shouted.

I turned around. "Yes, Andy?"

"I'm sorry I am so tired today. I stayed up really late last night," he said.

"Get back to work, please, Andy," I requested.

"I just wanted you to know, I watched the TIGHTEST movie last night. It was called Selena. Have you ever seen it?" he questioned, somewhat innocently.

I was watching him, ready for him to laugh. It had to be a joke. But he was dead serious.

I faced the board, and started laughing to myself. Then I couldn't hold my laughter in. I was just laughing. The students all started laughing, too. They couldn't believe he'd gotten the best of me, but he had. The reason it was so funny to me, is I had been expecting him to say he was watching something like Terminator, or Transformers. But, Selena? The TIGHTEST movie? My sister and I still text each other a Selena reference every once in awhile. And I am thankful that I have this one memory of Andy that made me appreciate the fact that as much as he drove me crazy, he really could make me laugh.

The Game

So, before I start, I thought I'd let all of you know that I've decided to add a teacher story at the end of each blog. That way, if the daily blog doesn't make you laugh, the teaching adventure definitely will.

After yesterday's post, I got a message from my friend Lisa, who has had some different experiences with dating after divorce. She talked about having no idea what she was doing, after being married for SO long. I can relate. After a long-term relationship....albeit a marriage with kids, ends, it's like being thrown into an ocean with no life jacket. I know I was totally lost. But I convinced myself that in order to find my way out of the ocean, I had to search around a bit, and explore all of my dating options. In Lisa's experience, men are only after one thing. I can relate to that. Like the guy who told me he wanted to sleep over just so we could cuddle all night. He just couldn't wait to sleep next to me. Ummm...I hadn't even met him in person, and I am not the hook-up or sleepover kind of girl. NEXT! It's true that a lot of men are after that, but here's what I've found. They are either after a one-night stand, or they think we're in a relationship after the second date. I've met a few guys that really want to just date and get to know me. They DO exist. It's just a matter of finding the RIGHT one, and letting things happen without pushing them. I think part of The Game that I've developed is the ability to be let a guy chase me. Although, that might be because I haven't been terribly interested in the most recent men ;) For some reason I've had a few needy guys after me lately. When I say needy, I mean men sending me 5 or more texts BEGGING for me to call them. I don't do needy well. If I want to talk on the phone, I will call you. If not, you can text me forever, but I still won't call. I'll avoid it like the plague. I want someone who can hold his own, and be independent, but make time for me too.  I don't know if it's because I am a single mom that the needy guys seem to head my way, but they always do, and I totally lose interest.

This brings me to a slightly different topic: Dating as a single parent. My friend Kellie and I have discussed this on many occasions. We're both independent, strong, smart, single women. Why don't we have dating success? Well, for one thing, we both have kids. Not that the men I've dated have had any issue with that. Many of them are single parents, too. But my concern is that, as a single mom, I might push people away because I'm so used to the routine I've gotten into with Charley. We have our ways of doing things. We are a team. She is my number one priority, no questions asked. So, are Kellie and I TOO independent? Do we send the vibe that we don't need/want a man? I know that I'm willing to bring someone (or potentially people, if he has kids) into my life, and try to blend things. That will be a long process, because I don't think kids should be introduced into the picture for awhile (especially if they are older). But I am more than willing to do it.

 Anyway, Charley and I have our routines and they stay pretty consistent. My biggest concern is that the longer I stay single, the more I will be resistant to someone new, because they change things too much. I'm used to being on my own. I'm used to having nobody around to help me out. I'm NOT used to changing my schedule to make time for somebody. I have done it. I will do it for the right person. I'm just not USED to doing it. This is the part of The Game, that I have yet to figure out. Dating with kids is just different.

Alright, enough of the dating nonsense. I'm going to tell you a little story about a boy I will call Alex. Alex was in my fifth grade class, and the poor kid just had it rough. His parents were truck drivers, so he spent most of his time being raised by his crazy aunt and uncle, along with his 7 brothers and sisters. Alex was a little guy, incredibly immature, and he had a big mouth. And not in a bada** kind of way. He whined. He argued. Worst of all, he was known to get into it with the largest, and most difficult kid in the class, which is never a good idea when you're a little guy. I loved this kid, just as I love all of my students, but he drove me up the wall. Some days I wanted to just take care of him, other days I wanted to wring his neck, when I walked by his desk which was surrounded by pencil shavings and tiny scraps of paper.

Anyway, Alex was different. Just different. He was notorious for wearing shoes that were about 4 sizes too large, and tripping frequently. Well, one day, on my prep period, there was a fire drill. My friend Janine and I went out to check on the students, then she followed me back to my portable classroom, and we chatted for awhile. We were glad to be back in the air-conditioned room, because it was over 100 degrees outside.  As she was leaving, we were still talking in the doorway, and I noticed a large lump on the ground several portables down. "What is that?" I asked. She looked. "I think it's a jacket."

I squinted. "No, I think that's Alex!" I said. Neither of us could believe that a kid would just be on the ground outside of the portable, but as we approached the building, it was clear. Alex was lying on the blacktop.

"Alex, are you alright?" I asked.

"I fell," he said, matter-of-factly. "Mrs. Watson called the nurse."

"Um, Alex...Why don't you take off your winter jacket,"Janine said. Considering that it was so hot, and he was lying on the blacktop, we both thought that would be a great idea.

"Okay," he muttered, and took it off...just to reveal a sweatshirt.

"Alex, go ahead and take off your sweatshirt," I suggested.

"Alright," he said. He took it off, to reveal a long-sleeved t-shirt.

Janine and I glanced at each other, trying not to laugh. This little game went on for several more layers, including another long-sleeved t-shirt, a short sleeved t-shirt, and we stopped him before he got to the undershirt.

"Alex, why in the world were you wearing so many layers? It's 100 degrees!" Janine exclaimed.

"Uh, I don't know," he said, as the nurse came out and wheeled him toward the building. I sent a note home that day, requesting that he come to school dressed appropriately for the weather.

He's Just Not That Into You

I think the dating stuff is probably the most fun to write about, so today, I'm going to focus on that. Have you ever seen the movie, He's Just Not That Into You? I think every single man and woman on the planet would benefit from watching this movie at least once. I saw it in the theater, but that was several years ago, when I was still married. Now, as a single woman, I watched it again and I can completely relate to the message of the movie. If he wants to date you, he will make it happen. If he is interested he will pursue you. If he's not pursuing you, he's just not that into you. Simple as that. And guess what, men? It goes the same way for women. If I'm initiating text messages once in awhile, I might be interested. If you text me repeatedly, and I don't get back to you within a couple of hours....I'm not that into you. For the most part, in my dating experience, the latter has been my situation, but I've had guys who just aren't that into me, as well. The movie made it so clear cut. Let me fill you in on something, though, guys. The women in that movie are EXACTLY like women in real life. Except for my friend Rena, who usually says, "He's an a**. Don't talk to him anymore." She is frequently right, by the way.

When a guy doesn't call, a woman talks to her friends about it, and they all reassure her how great she is. It must be him. "He is intimidated by you, and doesn't think he deserves you." "He isn't in the right place to be dating anybody right now." " He definitely likes you, but he is scared." Yup, most women have said these things, and we truly believe they're true. But they're not! He's not too busy to call, and he didn't lose your number. If a guy wants to date you, he will do everything he can to make it happen. He will make time for you. He might play games, but ultimately, he will make it happen. There are always the exceptions, and the problem many women have is that we think we're the exception. But we're the rule.

Now, that might sound negative, but taking this approach to dating can actually be helpful. It prevents the constant "checking to see if he called," issues. If he called, great. If not...NEXT (as my friend Janine would say). She has been a guiding force in my dating life, because she had her share of dating experience, back in the day, and she KNOWS men. Especially the type of men I'm into. For some reason, I'm drawn to a guy in uniform...Not a Dominoes Pizza uniform, but a real uniform....Cops, military  men, firefighters...I don't know what it is, but it's been a thing for me. And they always seem to track me down! Janine is the expert, though. If I send her a text, she can predict a man's next move with surprising accuracy. She hasn't been wrong yet. She's also great because she will straight up say, "He's not interested," or, "Might be worth waiting out." Like I said, she hasn't been wrong yet.

So, I went off on a bit of a tangent there, but let's get back on track. I've recently dated a guy who is totally what I'm looking for. Smart, responsible, respectful, has a great job... he takes me on creative dates, brings me flowers...the whole shebang! He is totally into me. What's the problem? I'm not attracted to him at all. He isn't unattractive, but the spark isn't there. I've had a few friends encourage me to give him a couple dates, because that can grow. I disagree. I think there's an initial spark or there isn't, and I almost feel guilty if I keep going on dates with him. He hasn't so much as held my hand in four dates, but he's told me he likes me. I'm not into leading people on...He's just so nice, I don't know how to let him know I'm just not into him. Then I've got another guy who wants to go out with me tomorrow, and all I can think about is the fact that I could never date a man named Howie... Plus, he's not a man in uniform ;) Funny side note: I've dated a Nick, Brian, AJ, and could potentially date a Howie. For all of my girlfriends who were/are boy band fans, you know I'm a Kevin away from dating the Backstreet Boys! Ha!

Well, again, off on a tangent. But I have to ask myself...why am I not into men that have everything I need? It's because I like a challenge. I like when men push me and challenge me. When they question what I say. It's not like I enjoy when they are a**holes, but I like a guy with a bit of an edge. A genuinely nice guy, who can put me on the spot and make me think. I suppose that has to do with my personality. I like challenges! That's why I miss teaching in the regular classroom. My classroom was always packed full of misfits, and difficult children, but I loved every minute of it because it made me think on my feet! I take the same approach to dating that I did to teaching.

Back to the topic. Watch the movie. Plain and simple. Men, it will help you to understand women. We're not crazy. We are just listening to our girlfriends. Women, it's true. If he doesn't get in touch with you, he's just not that interested. And that's okay. Because SOMEONE will be, and when it's right, you'll know it. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I'll wait it out. And I will be somebody's exception.

P.S. I'm wondering if I should write a post about teaching. From  the kid Janine and I found lying on the blacktop in 110 degree weather wearing 8 layers of clothes, to my classroom of misfits (ANY of my coworkers from Lynch can vouch for that), it could provide some entertainment. Thoughts?

Surprised by Success

So, the dating blog went over well yesterday. Yes, it's true, I've had enough dating experience in the last several months to last me a lifetime. That's why I got offline, and I'm just waiting for the right person to come and find me. Honestly, yesterday's post was just the tip of the iceberg, so stay tuned for upcoming posts if you enjoy a good laugh at my expense. In posting my blog last night, though, I found that I'm not the only one who's had dating nightmares. An old high school friend reached out to me, and told me that he'd had a similar experience. One woman he dated even faked a pregnancy! I guess it goes to show that you never know what you're going to get, when you date online!

Anyway, writing yesterday's post was fun, but today I'm going to focus on the true love of my life, and some of my Tough Mudder obstacles. The true love of my life, is of course, Charley. Since the day she was born, we've been a team, and I'm going to hang onto that as long as I can. We went and got pedicures today with my friend Kim. Yes, it's true, I took my two year old to get her toes painted. She certainly was the entertainment for everyone in the nail salon, as she walked from one end of the building to the other asking everyone their names, and saying, "Nice to meet you." Yes, it's cute, but it drives me crazy because she doesn't get that everybody on the face of the earth does not want to talk to her, on her command. Anyway, her toes look cute, and we made it out of the salon without any major incidents.

Raising a child on your own is difficult, but I think that difficulty is compounded when they are very young. She constantly wants to be the center of attention, which is fun, but the occasional, uninterrupted adult conversation would be nice every once in awhile. Anyway, as a parent, single or not, when you find a method of keeping your kids entertained for awhile, you run with it. What has been my solution to entertaining my little diva? One Direction. I know, a two year old listening to a boy band. I truly have my hands full, and she's nowhere near her teenage years. I attached a video that my friend Gretchen thought was "Youtube worthy," but instead of Youtube, I thought I would just share it with you all. This is what I will have to look forward to for the next decade or so.

I love my kid. This video explains why. Not only does she love boy bands and country music, she also has a ton of personality, and keeps life interesting. Sometimes she gets into trouble, but she is so much fun.

I'm not planning to ramble on about how great my kid is (although she is awesome), so I thought I would share some of my Tough Mudder training news. If you don't know what a Tough Mudder is, it's a 10-12 mile obstacle course that I'm training for in July. I'm in decent shape, but endurance has never been my thing. There's a reason I was good at gymnastics...I can work my butt off, and go super hard for like 2 minutes. Then I need a break! So, this is going to be the ultimate challenge for me and my short legs.

Anyway, I started training a couple of weeks ago, and I've been proud of myself for going to the gym. Part of my motivation is giving Charley a chance to go to the kids area, and getting a guaranteed hour and a half break every time I go. It's totally a win-win, situation. My biggest issue with training so far has been injuries. I have a stress fracture in my wrist from doing who-knows-what a couple of months ago, and it makes training for the obstacles difficult. I'm working on it, though and hoping to have my wrist back to normal within a week. So, I don't have any funny stories to explain my wrist injury, but that's not my only current ailment. I hurt my knee just over a week ago, and you might find this one entertaining.

So, my co-workers have been trying to get me to come to adult gymnastics for the longest time. I love tumbling, I love gymnastics, but the class is 7:30-9p.m. and I have a toddler. Not exactly the best timing, when there's nobody at home to put her to sleep. But last week, I got my little sister to babysit, and finally went to gymnastics. Before I left, my step-dad warned me, "Be careful! I need you in tip-top shape to watch the dogs next week." Side note: I'm house sitting this week. Anyway, I was like, sure, I have a splint on my wrist, but I was confident I could still do some hands-free tumbling, like aerials (no-handed cartwheels), back tucks, front tucks...The things I've done for years. So, here we are stretching, and everybody starts to warm up tumbling. Handstands, cartwheels, back handsprings. Of course, everything that uses hands.

I didn't just want to stand around, so I went over to the Tumble Track, and started some aerial cartwheels. I landed 10 or so, with no issues whatsoever. "I've totally got this," I thought to myself. I went over to the floor, ready to do my amazing aerial. I was nervous, and the thought that MAYBE I shouldn't do this on my first night back definitely crossed my mind. But I'm an "I can do it" kind of person, and went for it. Big mistake. Big. Huge. Did I land the aerial? Yup! I sure did. Did my back leg come down so hard that I thought I blew out my knee? Yup! Sure did. Of course everyone was watching, so I just stood there like a deer in headlights, like, "I'm fine!" Internally, though, I was screaming, "Crap! I'm such an idiot. I hope I can walk away without anybody noticing my limp and fake smile." Well, I stretched it out a little bit and it definitely hurt, but I didn't want anyone to know I'd hurt myself, so I went over to the trampoline, and did some front tucks, back tucks...anything where I didn't have to straighten my leg. I knew it was stupid, and did it anyway. The next day I could hardly walk.

It felt a lot better a couple days later, with my traditional "RICE" remedy, so I didn't go to the doctor. Then, I went back to the gym, and I'm paying for it now. Yikes. Oh well, it will heal, but I hate to get out of my gym routine...A mom needs her alone time!  Here's the best part, though...Prior to writing this blog, I've only told two people, and that is just because they saw me immediately afterwards. My friend Sean told me I was an idiot, and I knew he was right. Now I'm the girl with a bum wrist and a bum knee...oddly enough, unlike any injuries I'd ever had while I was competing. It's embarrassing, so feel free to laugh at my expense. It has put a kink in my training, but it won't stop me. I must continue on...