What Are Appropriate Consequences?

So, I got into a car accident today. I want to preface this by saying that I'm fine, Charley wasn't with me when the accident happened, so there's no need for concern. I really contemplated whether or not I wanted to blog about this, because I really don't want to come off as complaining. But I decided to write about it, because this particular accident brings up some issues that I never really thought I would have to deal with, in terms of the laws and insurance related issues that come along with driving. Buckle up for this one!

Let me set the stage a little bit. I was stopped in the left turn lane at a stoplight, when a vehicle slammed into the back right side of my car at around 35 mph, and continued driving until she had effectively taken out my back wheel, the passenger side of my car, and my mirror. She slowed down. Stopped. And then drove off. Fortunately for me, there were dozens of other cars in the intersection, and I noticed some following her. She must have recognized this, because she finally stopped, turned around, and came back to the scene. As I made my first 911 call EVER, I was surprised to hear from the dispatcher that the incident had already been called in. That means one of the witnesses must've called, too, and I am very grateful for that. Minnesota drivers looking out for each other... I like that.

Anyway, the woman did turn around, get out of her car, and apologize. I didn't have anything nice to say, so I decided it was better for me not to say anything. That is, until the cops showed up. Did I yell and scream about being side swiped while I was STOPPED? Ha! No. That's not me. I'm not a yeller and a screamer. Instead, I burst into tears. Not because I was hurt. Just because I was shaken up, and he was so nice to me. I probably sounded like a blubbering idiot, but I had absolutely no control over it. I am ALWAYS in control of my emotions, and I really didn't enjoy crying uncontrollably. However, once I'd given him all of my information, I had time to calm down, text my family and friends, and let them know what had happened.

This is where it gets complicated. I saw the officer going back and forth between the other driver's vehicle, and his car. Several other officers showed up. Crap, I thought. I bet she's not insured. Well, according to the woman, the car belonged to her son, and he had the insurance information. I heard one of the officers asking her about the car's registration. It seems that the car she was driving had expired tabs from a different state, and it was, in fact registered to her son. The officer gathered the rest of her contact information, let her go (her car was drivable), and sat with me to wait for the tow truck to show up. "You, know," he said, "To be honest with you, I think the idea that she has insurance is pretty slim." Of course that had crossed my mind. Why else would her initial reaction have been to drive off? Ugh. Then the officer said, "People say things happen for a reason. But I can't really see a reason for this, on your part. I mean...It's a beautiful day, the road isn't slippery, there's no traffic... There's really absolutely no reason this should've happened, except that another person totally wasn't paying attention!" I appreciated him trying to make me feel better. "Maybe she needed a wake-up call of some sort, and I just happened to be the victim of that wake-up call," I replied.

As the day went on, I ran into a couple of other issues. The All Star Baseball games have been going on all week, and there are NO rental cars available in the Twin Cities or surrounding areas. Literally...none. So, I'm stranded at home until sometime tomorrow when I get a call from Enterprise saying they have a car available, and I can sucker someone into coming to pick Charley and me up so we can go get the car. Ha! I guess that means if you want to see me, you'll have to come visit! The other problem was that I got pretty sore, and decided to go to urgent care to get checked out. They admitted me into the ER, ran a whole plethora of tests, had an IV (the nurse told me the doctor ordered it, because I looked like I needed it....was that his way of telling the nurse I looked like crap?) found some internal bruising, but as I suspected... I'm totally fine. A little sore. But fine. Thank goodness for that. The ER visit was more of an annoyance than anything else, but I'm glad I went.

Ok, so the situation is complicated. But now, I find myself wondering...What if she really isn't insured? What does that mean for me? Well, that really depends on the damage to my vehicle. It was fairly substantial, but I don't really know anything about car parts and labor costs, so I don't know if it's totaled or just damaged. If it IS totaled, then I could be in quite a predicament. First of all, the claim would go against me, because my insurance would have to pay for it, and my rate could increase. Second of all, I drive a leased car. This means that the insurance company would pay the leasing agency, and (God forbid) if the value of the car is less than what is owed on it, I could end up financially responsible for the remainder of the lease. This basically means, I would have no money coming from the insurance company for a replacement. And no car. What would I do? It's the kind of situation that had never crossed my mind before today. It seems totally unfair. I mean...I was stopped. I didn't do anything wrong. Somebody else did. Doesn't that seem like a flaw in the system? I don't know, it just doesn't seem right.

Meanwhile, what would the consequences be for the other driver? Well, if she doesn't have insurance, she could lose her license. I could sue her for the money to pay for the deductible. But if she has no money, that won't do any good. Plus, I just can't picture myself taking part in a lawsuit. It's very unlike me. So what is the next step for her? Will there be other repercussions? Or does the fact that she's uninsured get her into trouble with the law, but get her off the hook financially? I'm not sure I understand that. If anybody knows, please, enlighten me!

Now, in the BEST case scenario (and what I'm hoping for), the woman comes forward with her insurance, and her insurance company takes care of everything. My car turns out to be damaged, but not beyond repair, and I get it back in a couple of weeks. This is what I'm hoping for.

At the end of the day, I'm grateful for one thing. I am so thankful that Charley was not in the car. I had to go the ER to get checked out, and if she had experienced that impact, she could've been seriously hurt. Someone was looking down on me, in that aspect.

This week can only improve from here, and I know it will. Goodnight!

Dear Charley...

This week, I've been overwhelmed by the number of things Charley says and does on a daily basis that are hilarious. Generally, she's not trying to be funny…but seeing as she is 3 years old, she doesn't understand the irony of her actions, and the things that she says. So, today, I thought I'd write a series of little letters to Charley. Enjoy!

Dear Charley,

I know you like Saved by the Bell. But the fact that you scratched a disk and it won't play is not an emergency. When you scream, "Mom! It's an emergency!" down the stairs from now on, I will not believe that it is, in fact, an emergency.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I appreciate that you've been sleeping in your room every night. I also appreciate that you are willing to watch TV in the morning, so I can sleep a little bit longer. However, if you recall, I taught you how to use the DVD player. I did that for a reason. So that you could put in a DVD, by yourself, and allow me to sleep an extra 20-30 minutes. Shaking me awake, and asking me to put in a DVD is not the same thing. Let's keep working on this one.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I think it is very polite that you have picked up the term, "Yes, ma'am." However, it is not a term I need to use with you in every conversation. For example, if you ask me for a popsicle, "Sure," is an acceptable answer. You do not need to correct me and say, "No, Mommy, you should say, yes ma'am."

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

When we are at the store, I understand that you get frustrated with me. I tell you, "No," quite frequently. Although you asked me nicely the other day to, "Please stop saying 'no,' Mommy," my answer will not change. In fact, I would say the word 'no' a lot less frequently, if you didn't find it necessary to pick every 4th item off the shelf and ask if you can have it.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

When you see a creepy looking guy walking down the sidewalk, please wait until he's out of earshot before saying, "Mom, that guy is a creeper!"

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

When I tell you I am not going to argue with you, it does not mean you have won the argument. In fact, it means exactly the opposite. I have won the argument, and we are going to do what I have told you we are going to do. On a similar note, you are not allowed to tell me, "I'm not going to argue with you!" It doesn't work that way. I'm the mom.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

Just because Nana calls people 'dumbheads' when she is driving, does not mean you can use that term. I am not a dumbhead. You may only use that term in Nana's car.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I love you. I do not love Barbie's Dream House. Please find a new show to watch, because I think Barbie and Ken are making me lose my mind. Literally.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

When you spill something on the floor, break a picture frame, or have an accident, you are not the one who should be saying, "It's okay. Accidents happen." That is my job. And sometimes, I might not be very happy about what happened, especially if I asked you NOT to do it in the first place. However, accidents DO happen. And I still love you.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

I don't speak whine. I say that to my students, and I say it to you almost daily. That means you need to stop whining. Whining louder and shouting at me, "I'm CRYING!" while no tears fall from your eyes has no impact on me. You are stubborn, but I've been practicing the stubborn thing for years. I will wait you out. I don't know if you noticed, but when I ignore your whining, you DO eventually stop, and turn back into my adorable, hilarious, sassy little girl. I will keep practicing this method until you graduate high school.

Love,
Mom

Dear Charley,

Thank you for being concerned about doing the dishes. You are a little bit too young to do this chore. However, I will continue to let you 'help' me with the dishes, despite the fact that it takes 4 times as long when I have your assistance, in hopes that I won't have to fight you to do the dishes when you're 10. I'm not banking on that, but a mom can dream, right?

Love,
Mom

Making a New Home

Well, it's been a week, and I think we're settling into our new home quite well. We've been going to the pool and park just about every day, and making friends in the neighborhood. It's a bit of an adjustment, considering we're used to having a Target and other amenities right around the corner, and now we have to drive 10 minutes to get our every day essentials. But maybe that isn't a bad thing…it'll certainly keep me from spending money unnecessarily! And maybe it'll encourage me to start making lists, so I don't forget anything that I need…. Ha! I doubt that'll happen, but it's something to strive for. Anyway, while getting settled I had some time off from work, and I'm a little anxious to get back. I'm a busy-body, and I get bored easily. With that said, having a full week off is more than I'm used to, and this busy-body is ready to be busy again!

I thought I'd start off this week by talking about my new neighbors. I was sad to leave my neighborhood in NE Minneapolis, because I had some awesome neighbors. There were older women living on either side of my, who were a little bit eccentric, incredibly nice, and they adored Charley. One of Charley's best friends also lived on our block, and I'd become friends with his parents over the last two years. So, I was hoping that I'd meet some nice people in my new neighborhood. As it turns out, I think I've hit the neighborhood jackpot for a parent of a toddler! On our second day here, our water heater went out. We were outside waiting for the plumber to come fix it, and we got to meet our next door neighbors. They're a young couple, with an adorable little boy, and they were very friendly. I told them that the water heater had gone out, and the guy immediately asked, "You're not paying anyone to fix it are you? I'll come fix it for you right now, if you want." It was very nice! Now, my landlord had called the plumber and was responsible for the cost, so I just let the plumber handle it, but it's nice to have a next door neighbor who's fairly handy! We chatted for awhile, while the kids played, and I felt really good about having them next door.

The first time we ventured to the pool, Charley made instant friends with the other kids playing in the kiddie pool, and I just sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed the afternoon. That's one thing I love about Charley, by the way… She makes friends wherever she goes! On our second trip to the pool, Charley started playing with a little boy, and I started talking with his mom. We talked for about an hour, about a variety of things, and before we left, we exchanged phone numbers, and Charley and I had received an invitation to dinner! There's something to be said for living in a small town…the people certainly are friendly!

Charley and the gang. 

The 4th of July was the first holiday we celebrated here in Hugo, and it came along fairly quickly after we'd moved in. I decided on Thursday evening that we would go to the parade in Forest Lake, because Charley hasn't really been to a parade before. Let's just say, it'll be awhile before we go to another parade. The parade itself was fantastic! There were lots of participants, and things to see (including my friend and her two kids on a fire truck). But Charley wasn't in the mood, and wanted to go home, before the parade even started! She was into it for about 10 minutes after she saw her friends on the fire truck, but then said, "I want to go home." She stuck it out for a few more minutes, and then we walked alongside the parade (totally embarrassing, by the way) to where our car was parked, several blocks away.  Of course on the way back to the car, I ran into several of my students, and stopped to talk with them for a few minutes. By the time we got loaded in the car, Charley was wiped out, and fell asleep almost immediately. We drove home, and made sure the house was clean, because we were having a bit of an impromptu gathering, with a couple of friends and their kids. It was great! Not terribly organized, because it was so last minute…but great! First, one of my friends showed up with her two kids, and we went to the pool right away. The kids played at the park and pool for close to 2 hours, before we headed back to my house for drinks and snacks. When we got home, another friend showed up with his two kids (Charley's best friends from gymnastics), and joined the fun. The kids ate, played, and ate some more, before we decided to walk back to the park. They looked like a little gang, all walking together. The kids played for awhile, then some of us went to the pool, while others went home. All-in-all, it was a great day. It was long, and busy…but that's how I prefer things, I think. Besides that, Charley went to bed early and slept like a rock!

Charley got busted sneaking S'mores dip.
Brilliant idea, but recipe needs tweaking!

Today, Charley and I have pretty much just been bumming around. She's got a little bit of a cold, mixed with some allergies, so we ran errands this morning, and have been at home ever since. She's perfectly content sitting on the couch watching TV all day (only because she's not feeling well), but of course, I'm bored out of my mind. A girl can only watch so much Phineas and Ferb and Barbie's Dream House before she totally loses it. Anyway, after a long day of sitting on the couch, I'm looking forward to getting back to work this week. Have a great week!