Blown Away

This time of year has brought about mixed emotions for me, the last couple of years. I love the holidays. From the cheesy Christmas carols to the 8 million pictures of kids with Santa on Facebook, I love it all. It's wonderful. It's also very stressful. I remember Charley's first Christmas. It was the first year that I had a salaried job, and the first time that it was important to me to have a Christmas tree. Charley would've been happy with a cardboard box as a gift, but that year I was able to give her quite a few wonderful things. I was able to give to my friends and family, too. I've always liked giving better than receiving, and that year I was able to give. It felt great, to know that I could actually give my friends and family gifts they enjoyed. Fast forward three years later, and I am in a totally different position. I made a point to give Charley the best Christmas possible. Everything extra went to her. Which meant I wasn't able to give how I would've liked, to the rest of the people in my life. I know people understand. It's just a phase in my life, and at some point (hopefully soon), I will be able to give the way that I would like. But for now, it's just not possible. So, for me, just like for many of my students, Christmas can be stressful.

I'm not a terribly materialistic person. Yes, I grew up in Edina, and yes, I understand that where I grew up brings with it a certain stereotype. I had an amazing, blessed childhood in many ways.  And, as my sister and I like to say, we always had great Christmases. Presents and excitement were never lacking. I'd like to replicate that childhood experience for Charley, but I've accepted that her life will be different from mine. She will never again live in a home with both of her parents together, opening presents on Christmas morning. The holidays, and life in general will be different for her. She'll spend time with other families at night, because I coach several evenings a week. But all of that's okay, because she is safe, loved, and always taken care of. I can't provide the lifestyle I once lived, but I can provide a loving, supportive household, and I try my best to do that. And I want her to value friendships, relationships, family, and experiences more than material belongings. That's always been how I've tried to live my life. Anyway, all of this has a point, I promise...

Christmas Eve Dinner :)

I've always surrounded myself with good people. I pride myself on that. And since I've been back in Minnesota, I've been surprised every year by the generosity of my friends and family when the holidays roll around. This year was no exception. No, that's not true. It was exceptional. In a wonderful way. Like I said before, I was not really able to give much to others this year, including my family. But I was literally blown away by the generosity Charley and I were surrounded by this year. My family made sure we were both well taken care of, when it came to gifts, and Charley had plenty of things to open. I think that's the most important part to children, right? But the generosity began before Christmas, for Charley and me. Sunday night, I got a text from the woman who watches Charley while I coach. "The kids wanted to get Charley a Christmas present! Can she open it when she gets here tomorrow night?" That was so nice, and unexpected. And the surprises continued. I got a message from one of my best friends, asking me, "Can you pick something up at the Target in Forest Lake tomorrow?" I thought it was kind of a weird question, because she doesn't live anywhere near Forest Lake, but I just went with it, and replied, "Of course!" She told me it was just something she'd wanted to do for me for a long time, and Christmas seemed like the right time. So, Monday, during my lunch break, I made a quick run to Target to pick up my mystery gift. Imagine my surprise, when the customer service rep came to the counter with a KEURIG! I was shocked. Nobody had ever done something like that for me before.  It was totally unexpected, and I nearly broke down in tears when I got back to my car. She wanted to do something for me, just because she knew I could use it. "Having a Keurig is like having someone make your coffee for you in the morning. It just makes life so much easier," she said. "I know it's not easy to be in your position, and I wanted to give you something that would make your mornings easier." I won't lie, it's been amazing to push a button and have my coffee ready and waiting for me every morning... That was enough of a wonderful surprise for a lifetime for me, but the giving didn't end there. I got to the gym Monday evening, and my boss pulled out a bag that's bigger than Charley, filled with gifts for both of us, to put under the tree. I didn't even know what to say. I've been at this gym for less than two months, and I already feel like part of the family.

All I can say is that this holiday season, I feel blessed. Not because of the material gifts I've received, but because I have the most wonderful people in my life. I've gotten countless holiday cards from my favorite people. Charley and I spent our Christmas (and the days prior) with family and friends. We shared laughs and ridiculous amounts of food. I had the chance to actually put up a Christmas tree, and start some new traditions with Charley. I got to watch her face light up, when she walked down the stairs and saw presents under the tree. When I gave her the one gift I'd said was from me, she walked up to me without saying a word, hugged me closely, and said, "This is the best present ever. I love you, Mommy." She then proceeded to try to give me one of her other presents, as a present from her to me. The fact that she wanted to give something to me showed me that, when it comes to her, I'm doing something right. We spent the day with family, and the evening with friends. There's really not much better than that in life. So...yes, the holidays are stressful. But they're wonderful. They bring out an incredible side to people. And I'm fortunate to have the best of the best people in my life. Merry Christmas!