The Game

So, before I start, I thought I'd let all of you know that I've decided to add a teacher story at the end of each blog. That way, if the daily blog doesn't make you laugh, the teaching adventure definitely will.

After yesterday's post, I got a message from my friend Lisa, who has had some different experiences with dating after divorce. She talked about having no idea what she was doing, after being married for SO long. I can relate. After a long-term relationship....albeit a marriage with kids, ends, it's like being thrown into an ocean with no life jacket. I know I was totally lost. But I convinced myself that in order to find my way out of the ocean, I had to search around a bit, and explore all of my dating options. In Lisa's experience, men are only after one thing. I can relate to that. Like the guy who told me he wanted to sleep over just so we could cuddle all night. He just couldn't wait to sleep next to me. Ummm...I hadn't even met him in person, and I am not the hook-up or sleepover kind of girl. NEXT! It's true that a lot of men are after that, but here's what I've found. They are either after a one-night stand, or they think we're in a relationship after the second date. I've met a few guys that really want to just date and get to know me. They DO exist. It's just a matter of finding the RIGHT one, and letting things happen without pushing them. I think part of The Game that I've developed is the ability to be let a guy chase me. Although, that might be because I haven't been terribly interested in the most recent men ;) For some reason I've had a few needy guys after me lately. When I say needy, I mean men sending me 5 or more texts BEGGING for me to call them. I don't do needy well. If I want to talk on the phone, I will call you. If not, you can text me forever, but I still won't call. I'll avoid it like the plague. I want someone who can hold his own, and be independent, but make time for me too.  I don't know if it's because I am a single mom that the needy guys seem to head my way, but they always do, and I totally lose interest.

This brings me to a slightly different topic: Dating as a single parent. My friend Kellie and I have discussed this on many occasions. We're both independent, strong, smart, single women. Why don't we have dating success? Well, for one thing, we both have kids. Not that the men I've dated have had any issue with that. Many of them are single parents, too. But my concern is that, as a single mom, I might push people away because I'm so used to the routine I've gotten into with Charley. We have our ways of doing things. We are a team. She is my number one priority, no questions asked. So, are Kellie and I TOO independent? Do we send the vibe that we don't need/want a man? I know that I'm willing to bring someone (or potentially people, if he has kids) into my life, and try to blend things. That will be a long process, because I don't think kids should be introduced into the picture for awhile (especially if they are older). But I am more than willing to do it.

 Anyway, Charley and I have our routines and they stay pretty consistent. My biggest concern is that the longer I stay single, the more I will be resistant to someone new, because they change things too much. I'm used to being on my own. I'm used to having nobody around to help me out. I'm NOT used to changing my schedule to make time for somebody. I have done it. I will do it for the right person. I'm just not USED to doing it. This is the part of The Game, that I have yet to figure out. Dating with kids is just different.

Alright, enough of the dating nonsense. I'm going to tell you a little story about a boy I will call Alex. Alex was in my fifth grade class, and the poor kid just had it rough. His parents were truck drivers, so he spent most of his time being raised by his crazy aunt and uncle, along with his 7 brothers and sisters. Alex was a little guy, incredibly immature, and he had a big mouth. And not in a bada** kind of way. He whined. He argued. Worst of all, he was known to get into it with the largest, and most difficult kid in the class, which is never a good idea when you're a little guy. I loved this kid, just as I love all of my students, but he drove me up the wall. Some days I wanted to just take care of him, other days I wanted to wring his neck, when I walked by his desk which was surrounded by pencil shavings and tiny scraps of paper.

Anyway, Alex was different. Just different. He was notorious for wearing shoes that were about 4 sizes too large, and tripping frequently. Well, one day, on my prep period, there was a fire drill. My friend Janine and I went out to check on the students, then she followed me back to my portable classroom, and we chatted for awhile. We were glad to be back in the air-conditioned room, because it was over 100 degrees outside.  As she was leaving, we were still talking in the doorway, and I noticed a large lump on the ground several portables down. "What is that?" I asked. She looked. "I think it's a jacket."

I squinted. "No, I think that's Alex!" I said. Neither of us could believe that a kid would just be on the ground outside of the portable, but as we approached the building, it was clear. Alex was lying on the blacktop.

"Alex, are you alright?" I asked.

"I fell," he said, matter-of-factly. "Mrs. Watson called the nurse."

"Um, Alex...Why don't you take off your winter jacket,"Janine said. Considering that it was so hot, and he was lying on the blacktop, we both thought that would be a great idea.

"Okay," he muttered, and took it off...just to reveal a sweatshirt.

"Alex, go ahead and take off your sweatshirt," I suggested.

"Alright," he said. He took it off, to reveal a long-sleeved t-shirt.

Janine and I glanced at each other, trying not to laugh. This little game went on for several more layers, including another long-sleeved t-shirt, a short sleeved t-shirt, and we stopped him before he got to the undershirt.

"Alex, why in the world were you wearing so many layers? It's 100 degrees!" Janine exclaimed.

"Uh, I don't know," he said, as the nurse came out and wheeled him toward the building. I sent a note home that day, requesting that he come to school dressed appropriately for the weather.