So, for today's post, I thought I would talk about two things that I have found to be dating killers: text messaging, and a bad first kiss. First of all, let me broach the topic of texting. Texting can be great. It's an easy way to start getting to know someone. It enables you to ask questions, and get answers without being totally put on the spot. It's convenient. It's easy. But it takes the personal contact out of dating. Specifically, just as with e-mailing, texting makes it easy to misinterpret things. It also makes it less threatening to say things you wouldn't normally say over the phone or in person. Here's the worst part about texting. Once it's out there, it's sent. That's it. You can't take it back. And unless you're my friend Lindsay, who once pulled a maneuver with texting (somehow erased it before he saw it...she's amazing), there's nothing you can do about it.
When you're on the phone with someone, or in person, and having a conversation, you might say something that could be misinterpreted. But you can explain your point, because it's in the context of a discussion. In text messages...no such luck. To be honest, I'm sure I have probably misread dozens of texts, and taken them to mean things they didn't. In some cases, the misread texts have lead to hilarious discussions and conversations. In other cases, they stopped me dead in my tracks...the conversations, too. My point, though, is that texting can be convenient, but I don't recommend it as a primary form of communication. Talking on the phone is my favorite. That way you get to hear the voice on the other end. I dated one guy who had kind of a squeaky voice, and said ummmm, after every other word. Had we spoken prior to meeting in person, instead of only texting, I would have been prepared. Lesson learned, lesson learned.
That brings me to the other discussion topic. The first kiss. When I'm on a date, and I can tell a guy is going to kiss me, one of two things is running through my head. 1. "Oh my goodness, he's going to kiss me!" OR 2. "Oh crap, he's going to kiss me. Head turn?" A lot of my girlfriends are against kissing on the first date. I'm not that way. That is as far as I am willing to go on a first date, but I'm okay with it, if the date went well. Here's my reasoning. Picture this: You're on a date and it goes well. It maybe ends with a hug, and you leave, and hear from the guy the next day. He wants to get together again, and you are up for it, too. So you meet, have a great time again, and when he walks you to your car, he goes in for the kiss. You're horrified! A bad, very bad kiss. If you would have kissed on the first date, you would have spared yourself the waste of time. Now, this is partly because I think that kissing is important. If there isn't a chemistry with the first kiss, it's over for me. Whether it happens on the first date, the third date, maybe even the tenth (although by that point, I'd be wondering why he hadn't made a move yet), a kiss makes a big impression. If it's awful, it's over (i.e. the guy who took off my make-up on the first kiss). If it's okay, I might give it one more shot. If it's great, then the guy stands a chance. But I won't waste my time with a lousy kisser.
I already posted this morning, so I wanted to keep this a bit shorter, although I wasn't terribly successful. Here's my student story.
My first year teaching, I had one student who was the bane of my existence. I'll call him Andy. Andy was one of the cool kids, and he was obnoxious. He called out all the time, during class. He got all the kids riled up with his loud, boisterous laugh.I knew it wasn't his fault. His mom let him hang out with his 17 year old brother and his friends. Regardless of the cause, Andy drove me absolutely crazy. But at the same time, sometimes he came off as likable. There were a few occasions when he actually amused me. This was one of those times.
Andy had been absent for a couple of days, and came back to class in full force. He had been interrupting all morning, as he usually did. After lunch, I was working through a math problem on the whiteboard. My little sister happened to be in town, and she was helping me supervise the class as I wrote. Suddenly, I heard him call out from the back of the room.
"Hey, Mrs. P!" he shouted.
I turned around. "Yes, Andy?"
"I'm sorry I am so tired today. I stayed up really late last night," he said.
"Get back to work, please, Andy," I requested.
"I just wanted you to know, I watched the TIGHTEST movie last night. It was called Selena. Have you ever seen it?" he questioned, somewhat innocently.
I was watching him, ready for him to laugh. It had to be a joke. But he was dead serious.
I faced the board, and started laughing to myself. Then I couldn't hold my laughter in. I was just laughing. The students all started laughing, too. They couldn't believe he'd gotten the best of me, but he had. The reason it was so funny to me, is I had been expecting him to say he was watching something like Terminator, or Transformers. But, Selena? The TIGHTEST movie? My sister and I still text each other a Selena reference every once in awhile. And I am thankful that I have this one memory of Andy that made me appreciate the fact that as much as he drove me crazy, he really could make me laugh.
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