Cheers to 2015!

So, it's 8:00 on New Year's Eve, and what am I doing? Blogging. Charley and I had plans tonight, but when I had to pick her up from school sick on Monday, I opted to cancel. Now, of course she's been totally fine all day, but I suppose it was probably the responsible thing to do, staying home. I mean, nobody wants a sick kid at a party! Anyway, we had a pretty nice evening. We made pizzas, had a dance party (at her request...she wanted to dance to Usher's Scream...awesome parenting, I know), played Memory (yes, she beat me again), and settled in to watch Frozen. I think the movie was about 20 minutes in, before she fell asleep in her play room. I stayed up there and watched the movie for a little bit longer, because, honestly, I think it's a great movie. I've known all the songs for months, and my students have been borderline obsessed with it for the last year, but I never sat down to watch it until a couple of days ago. As a bit of a Disney snob (I'm partial to the classics), I was admittedly impressed. I like it. I'll probably watch it again. Ha!

Anyway, seeing as it's New Year's Eve, I suppose I should reflect on the last year and make some resolutions for the next year. It might get a little bit lengthy, but you've been forewarned. I'd like to reflect on the last couple of years though, because as time goes on, I can see myself changing into the person I actually want to be. I'll start with 2012...

 2012 was a life changing year for me. I had to come to the realization that my marriage was over, and move on with my life. While the breakup was terrible for me, I think part of that was due to the circumstances, but the other part of that was due to the fact that it was my first breakup...ever. I never knew what it was like to end things with someone, and have that feeling that things would never be the same. It was without a doubt, the most difficult, life changing year I've experienced so far. But it also jumpstarted some things in my life. While I had great friends in Vegas, I had no family out there and it never quite felt like home. In 2012, I moved home, into a place of my own, for the first time in my life. I'd never been without a roommate or spouse, so it was a totally new experience for me. I wasn't exactly rolling in money, when  I was in Vegas, but at least I was splitting the bills. When I moved out on my own, my household income was essentially cut in half, and the amount I was expected to pay every month basically doubled. Talk about a humbling experience. But I figured it out and made it work, and I'm so grateful for that experience, looking back. I learned how I deal with personal and financial pressures (not well at the time), and finally learned to stand my ground.

2013 was a year of personal growth. While 2012 was filled with trauma, emotional scars, and financial difficulties, 2013 was the year that I dealt with all of those issues. I dated a lot, for the first time in my life. I met a lot of great people, and a lot of not so great people. But I needed the experience. It only took me a couple of months to realize that I'm a terrible serial dater. I spent a long time kind of feeling like I wasn't a priority in my marriage, and when men were so quick to make me a priority, it honestly freaked me out. I guess I thought that making me the center of their world right away indicated that they just wanted a girlfriend...not me in particular. And I wasn't used to all of the attention from different directions. I didn't really (and still don't) like it.  It just goes to show that, at the time, I wasn't emotionally ready to settle down. I wanted to be...but I wasn't. Meanwhile, I started a business with a close friend and my step-dad in 2013. It was such an exciting venture, and I couldn't wait to make it a success. Unfortunately, an awful lot of circumstances hit right around the time we were trying to get it off the ground, and it didn't work out. That was really hard for me. I don't like letting people down, and I know that I wasn't able to do what I'd hoped I could do with the business. It wasn't a good feeling. I finally had some closure with the business in 2014, and I'm very grateful for that. While I wish it had turned out differently, I definitely learned from the experience. On a more positive note, 2013 brought about a wonderful job opportunity for me, too. I started working in the classroom again, and I don't think the job could have come up at a better time for me. I needed it. Not just financially... I needed everything about the job. Challenges, laughter, thinking on my feet...It definitely was meant to be, for me.

2014 was a year of settling in. I learned a lot about myself in 2013, but 2014 is when I did most of my mental processing. Yes, I'm a teacher, I process EVERYTHING. I took risks. I figured out who I am right now, and who I want to be, and started to make changes. I made new friendships. I learned to listen to what others have to say, and consider their opinions...but ultimately stand by my decisions. I mean, I've never been an idiot, but there have been many times in my life where I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat, in both personal and professional settings, simply to keep the peace. I now try to take a more diplomatic approach to discussions. Hear all sides, then come to a conclusion and actually VOICE my opinion. I still have my peacemaker moments, but that's something for me to work on in the next year. 2014 was the year in which I took a chance and moved away from everybody I'm close to. I kind of ventured off on my own, with Charley, and started a new life. My mom asks me sometimes if I'm lonely, living so far away from the girlfriends I grew up with. Honestly, there are times when I wish I lived closer...and of course I wish I could see my friends more often...but I'm really happy living outside of the city. It's strange, even when I was married and living in Vegas, I had visions of living in Forest Lake (which is TOTALLY random, because at the time I had legitimately no ties there)...maybe that's why I wasn't completely surprised to get the teaching job in Forest Lake...kind of like it was meant to be. Anyway, back to my point...I like it here. In fact, I'll probably end up moving further north (i.e. further from the cities) this summer. While I love my neighborhood, and EVERYTHING about it, I now have two jobs that are considerably north of where I live, and I have to backtrack to pick up Charley when I'm going between the two jobs. So, logistically, it just makes sense to move north. Now, of course that's not as easy as it sounds...The rental properties are slim pickings...but I know the right place will come along at the right time. Back to settling in... I also left a wonderful coaching job this year, and found another coaching job that's just as fantastic. I've always felt at home in the gym, regardless of where I've worked. Sometimes it takes parents and coaches awhile to warm up to a new coach, but I've been very lucky here in Minnesota. At both gyms I've been embraced quickly, and had really fantastic experiences. I certainly feel lucky to have come across my current coaching job, because I'm really getting to coach competitive girls again, and that's exciting for me. It challenges me, and I certainly do enjoy a challenge! I'm also working with wonderful coaches and parents, so I definitely feel settled in that gym. I guess the most important thing I accomplished in 2014 is that I finally began to feel like I became ME, if that makes any sense. I'm going to get all cheesy here, and relate it back to Frozen, but  there's a line 'Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know...' I think I spent a lot of my mid-20s concealing how I felt about a lot of things, but I'm past that. I've also learned to let go of the past and move forward. And that's exactly what I plan to do in 2015. Have a safe and wonderful New Year!

For those of you interested in my Frozen reference... Ha! Seriously, though, I know it's been way overplayed, but the message is awesome... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

***Since this post wasn't very much about Charley, I thought I'd include some of my favorite pics from the last year :) Enjoy!

Blown Away

This time of year has brought about mixed emotions for me, the last couple of years. I love the holidays. From the cheesy Christmas carols to the 8 million pictures of kids with Santa on Facebook, I love it all. It's wonderful. It's also very stressful. I remember Charley's first Christmas. It was the first year that I had a salaried job, and the first time that it was important to me to have a Christmas tree. Charley would've been happy with a cardboard box as a gift, but that year I was able to give her quite a few wonderful things. I was able to give to my friends and family, too. I've always liked giving better than receiving, and that year I was able to give. It felt great, to know that I could actually give my friends and family gifts they enjoyed. Fast forward three years later, and I am in a totally different position. I made a point to give Charley the best Christmas possible. Everything extra went to her. Which meant I wasn't able to give how I would've liked, to the rest of the people in my life. I know people understand. It's just a phase in my life, and at some point (hopefully soon), I will be able to give the way that I would like. But for now, it's just not possible. So, for me, just like for many of my students, Christmas can be stressful.

I'm not a terribly materialistic person. Yes, I grew up in Edina, and yes, I understand that where I grew up brings with it a certain stereotype. I had an amazing, blessed childhood in many ways.  And, as my sister and I like to say, we always had great Christmases. Presents and excitement were never lacking. I'd like to replicate that childhood experience for Charley, but I've accepted that her life will be different from mine. She will never again live in a home with both of her parents together, opening presents on Christmas morning. The holidays, and life in general will be different for her. She'll spend time with other families at night, because I coach several evenings a week. But all of that's okay, because she is safe, loved, and always taken care of. I can't provide the lifestyle I once lived, but I can provide a loving, supportive household, and I try my best to do that. And I want her to value friendships, relationships, family, and experiences more than material belongings. That's always been how I've tried to live my life. Anyway, all of this has a point, I promise...

Christmas Eve Dinner :)

I've always surrounded myself with good people. I pride myself on that. And since I've been back in Minnesota, I've been surprised every year by the generosity of my friends and family when the holidays roll around. This year was no exception. No, that's not true. It was exceptional. In a wonderful way. Like I said before, I was not really able to give much to others this year, including my family. But I was literally blown away by the generosity Charley and I were surrounded by this year. My family made sure we were both well taken care of, when it came to gifts, and Charley had plenty of things to open. I think that's the most important part to children, right? But the generosity began before Christmas, for Charley and me. Sunday night, I got a text from the woman who watches Charley while I coach. "The kids wanted to get Charley a Christmas present! Can she open it when she gets here tomorrow night?" That was so nice, and unexpected. And the surprises continued. I got a message from one of my best friends, asking me, "Can you pick something up at the Target in Forest Lake tomorrow?" I thought it was kind of a weird question, because she doesn't live anywhere near Forest Lake, but I just went with it, and replied, "Of course!" She told me it was just something she'd wanted to do for me for a long time, and Christmas seemed like the right time. So, Monday, during my lunch break, I made a quick run to Target to pick up my mystery gift. Imagine my surprise, when the customer service rep came to the counter with a KEURIG! I was shocked. Nobody had ever done something like that for me before.  It was totally unexpected, and I nearly broke down in tears when I got back to my car. She wanted to do something for me, just because she knew I could use it. "Having a Keurig is like having someone make your coffee for you in the morning. It just makes life so much easier," she said. "I know it's not easy to be in your position, and I wanted to give you something that would make your mornings easier." I won't lie, it's been amazing to push a button and have my coffee ready and waiting for me every morning... That was enough of a wonderful surprise for a lifetime for me, but the giving didn't end there. I got to the gym Monday evening, and my boss pulled out a bag that's bigger than Charley, filled with gifts for both of us, to put under the tree. I didn't even know what to say. I've been at this gym for less than two months, and I already feel like part of the family.

All I can say is that this holiday season, I feel blessed. Not because of the material gifts I've received, but because I have the most wonderful people in my life. I've gotten countless holiday cards from my favorite people. Charley and I spent our Christmas (and the days prior) with family and friends. We shared laughs and ridiculous amounts of food. I had the chance to actually put up a Christmas tree, and start some new traditions with Charley. I got to watch her face light up, when she walked down the stairs and saw presents under the tree. When I gave her the one gift I'd said was from me, she walked up to me without saying a word, hugged me closely, and said, "This is the best present ever. I love you, Mommy." She then proceeded to try to give me one of her other presents, as a present from her to me. The fact that she wanted to give something to me showed me that, when it comes to her, I'm doing something right. We spent the day with family, and the evening with friends. There's really not much better than that in life. So...yes, the holidays are stressful. But they're wonderful. They bring out an incredible side to people. And I'm fortunate to have the best of the best people in my life. Merry Christmas!

The Aftermath...

It's been so long since I've blogged about dating (probably because I like to keep the more meaningful things in that area to myself), but I've found, in the last week, that my friends and co-workers seem to find it amusing to live vicariously through me. Perhaps they just find it amusing that people can be so ridiculous, and they are just glad that they're not dealing with the nonsense I have to entertain. I had so many people last week comment on reading my blog post about my coffee date. People who said things like, "My husband's a mess, but I'm SO glad I'm not in your shoes." Ha! I agree... there are many times when I wasn't in my own shoes. I had one friend, upon hearing that my mom was watching Charley on Saturday night, say, "What do you have planned? Another hot date? " Ummm... not so much. "What did you say to this guy?" people asked me. "How did you tell him you weren't interested?" Well... I didn't. I'm ashamed to say that I avoided him, instead of directly addressing the awkward texting fiasco that I'd experienced last weekend. That is, of course, until this weekend rolled around.

I went all week without hearing from this guy, so I kind of assumed he'd gotten the hint. Then, on Friday morning, I got a text that said, I need to see you soon. Please and thank you... I chose not to respond. Friday evening, I received a text asking what I was up to over the weekend.  I did respond, and said I had a holiday party to go to on Saturday night. It was true! I didn't end up going to the party, because it was so far from my house, and after the last week at work (my co-workers know what I'm talking about), I honestly just needed to be by myself and get some sleep. Anyway, after I said I had a party to go to, he replied, Holiday party? Need a date? WHOA! No. I will not bring a man I've met once who didn't exactly make a good first impression to meet some of my oldest, dearest friends. I told him it was an invite-only party. That was my only lie, I promise. He continued to text, and I finally told him, in not so many words, that he wasn't the one for me. I didn't get a response. Until 2:30 in the morning. Are you awake? the text said. I almost wrecked some dipshit just now...and want to talk to someone and calm down. Ok, now I tend to be a nice person (I told my friend Katie that I might have to be mean to this guy, and she insisted I don't have a mean bone in my body...ha!), and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But this was ridiculous. Not only did his text wake me up (which I didn't exactly appreciate...don't interrupt my beauty sleep...it's not pretty), but it also indicated several reasons why this guy is single. First of all, why is a guy in his 30s getting into bar fights at 2:30 a.m.? Secondly, if he was that upset, why would he ask ME...a girl he'd met ONE TIME to talk him through it.  Clearly, we're not in the same place in life and DEFINITELY not on the same page. I did not respond to his late night text, and the next morning I blocked his number. Enjoy the laugh, I'm sure it's amusing...I can't help but laugh... I seem to be a magnet for this type of guy. But they repel me quickly. And they are exactly why I hate dating. Ha!

Charley spent the night at my mom's yesterday, and I probably should've gone out last night. I haven't really had that opportunity in over a month. But the last month has gone by so quickly, I really just needed some time for myself. I got some holiday shopping done, and picked up some groceries. I had intentions of making my grandma's famous pumpkin bread, so I picked up the ingredients, along with a few other things I planned to cook for the week. Without Charley home, it's much easier to do meal prep! Anyway, I got home and discovered I didn't have enough sugar (who runs out of sugar?!) to make the pumpkin bread, and I couldn't find the recipe for the soup I'd intended to make. As I told my friend Kellie on the phone later, at that point, I just said, "I give up," and opted to take a nap. After my nap, I had a great phone conversation with my friend, listened to music, and just relaxed for hours before going to bed. It was heavenly.

This morning, I picked up my princess, who seems to have developed a cold that has her nose running like a faucet. But she was glad to see me, and we had fun around the house this afternoon. She fell asleep just after dinner, and I'm hoping the extra sleep will ward off the germs! With the holidays just around the corner, my students can be a bit of a mess, and I really don't want to miss school if I can avoid it! On that note, have a great week everyone!

Coffee Dates and Gymnastics Meets... I Prefer the Latter

I can't believe I'm sitting down to write right now...It's nearly 10:00 on Sunday night, and I had an incredibly busy weekend! But I don't think I'll be asleep for another half an hour or so, so I suppose I might as well blog a little bit. The last week was crazy. I coached 3 nights, and the girls I work with competed over the weekend. That meant practices were very much about preparing the finishing touches for the meet, and making sure all of the girls' routines looked put together. They looked great in practice, and they did really well in the meet. I was proud, and very grateful for the chance to work with these girls. They're hard workers and they genuinely want to learn. I can't say enough about how much I enjoy them!

Now, I know yesterday was a Saturday, but as per usual, Charley woke me up bright and early. We met my friend for breakfast in Roseville, before I dropped Charley off at my mom's for a little while so she could see her for the first time in a few weeks. Given the fact that I had a little bit of time to myself, I did something I haven't done in a long time. A LONG time...I went on a date. I wasn't really that excited about it, because I knew prior to the date that the guy, although very attractive, wasn't exactly my type. I'm not talking physically here...I just mean I had an inkling going into the date that he and I weren't really on the same page. But he's been pestering me for awhile to let him take me out, so I finally agreed to coffee. It was kind of nice to have someone so eager to take me out, but I was skeptical. Anyway, we met up for coffee, and it was nice.  We talked about the typical first-date stuff, like where we grew up, what we do for fun, etc. There were a couple of red flags, particularly when he talked about how all his friends were married, and doing married people stuff all the time, so he never had anyone to hang out with. I get that. I mean, most of my friends are married or in relationships, and I'm not. But I'm not mad at them for finding happiness, as he appeared to be. In fact, I really appreciate the fact that they've found the right people. That makes me happy! But he seemed to be a little bitter about it. He also made some comments that were a little bit immature.  He's older than I am, so I guess I'd expected something different in terms of maturity level. Oh, well. When we finished our drinks, we walked to a nearby bookstore so he could pick out a card for a wedding he would be attending that evening. He walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye (yes, I intentionally parked in a VERY public setting, so he wouldn't be tempted to lean in for an awkward kiss or anything...ha!). Overall, the date was fine. It was nice to have someone so excited to see me and take me out. But honestly, there was no chemistry.

Apparently, however, that feeling wasn't mutual. Later in the day, I got a series of texts asking what I was up to, what I'd thought of him, etc. I found that interesting, because I'd made it very clear that I am put-off by people wanting to know what I'm up to all the time...Particularly early on...I know he was just trying to be nice (and perhaps was feeling a little bit insecure), and one text later in the day would've been just fine. But he wanted to talk all day. And some of the texts were...well...stupid. "Do you wanna flirt?" he asked me at one point. "Not really," I replied. Clearly he thought I was joking and attempted to continue the conversation, but I chose not to respond. I wasn't feeling it. He's a nice guy, but based on our conversation at coffee, and his constant texting afterwards, he clearly didn't listen to what I had to say. I guess I just got the impression that he wants to settle down...with anybody... Or have a fling. And I'm not going to be either of those people. I guess, what I got out of the experience was the fact that yes, of course it is nice to have someone chase me and take me out. It is nice to be pursued. But ultimately, if there's no substance to it, it's not really worth pursuing.

On a totally unrelated note, Charley and I went to watch the girls I work with compete last night. There were competitions on Friday and Saturday. I couldn't make it on Friday, but decided to hang around in Minneapolis on Saturday, so I could watch the girls compete. They were very nervous, but definitely excited to perform. There were a couple of falls here and there, and a few mistakes, but overall they did a great job. I was very proud of them. I wasn't working the meet, so I had to stay behind certain barriers, but I found myself coaching from the sidelines. I really can't help it...It's like the impulsive side of my ADHD...When I see an error, I have to correct it, and I have to do it immediately! Ha! I sat with the parents, and was able to explain the scoring to them a little bit. I think it was helpful to them, because I imagine if someone doesn't know about gymnastics, they probably just look for straight legs and pointed toes, and think it was a clean routine so it should score well. Unfortunately, there are so many more things that go into scoring, and most of them can be difficult to understand. So, it was nice to be able to explain it to them directly after the event, before I forgot! Anyway, I'm glad I went, and in spite of the fact that Charley was not on her best behavior (I blame the fact that she has a cold), it was a really great evening. On that note, it's late now, so I'm heading to bed. Goodnight!

Feeling Thankful

The last few days literally flew by. We had all kinds of events planned at school, so my students' schedules were totally out of whack. With all of the excitement at school, by the time Wednesday night rolled around, I was ready to relax. Charley and I watched a movie, and Charley went to bed early. For some reason, on holiday breaks, I get the inkling that I should stay up late because I'll get to sleep in. I don't know why I always do this... It never actually happens. Charley was up at 6a.m. and of course, upon waking up, I instantly regretted staying up until midnight. Oh well, live and learn, right? Ha!Anyway, as Thanksgiving rolled around, I thought about all of the things I have to be thankful for, and there are just too many to list. I suppose I could go with the generic and say I'm thankful for family, friends, a job I love, wonderful co-workers, a great home, etc...The list could go on. But I won't bore you with that. Let me fill you in on our Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving was really nice this year. Charley and I went over to my dads' house around noon, to socialize a bit before eating dinner around 4. One of our long-time family friends from England was in town to celebrate her first Thanksgiving, and I wanted to make sure Charley and I had plenty of time to visit with her. It was a nice, relaxing afternoon with family and friends. My dad cooked the turkey, several sides, and dessert. I was responsible for the mashed potatoes. Now, historically I've been pretty good at making mashed potatoes, but it's been awhile since I made them for a group. I wanted to make sure we had enough...Well we did...We probably had 5 pounds of mashed potatoes....And went through more than I would like to admit! Anyway, they were pretty good, so I was relieved that my contribution to the meal wasn't a total flop.

After dinner, I noticed Charley starting to get little red bumps around her lips, the way she does when she is around peanuts. There were no peanuts in sight, though, and all she'd eaten were potatoes, turkey, and cranberries. I figured it must've been a reaction to the cranberries, and smeared some cortisone on her face. The bumps went away, and we all sat around the house for awhile. Around 6:30, I suggested that we check out some of the Black Friday deals. Now, there was a time (pre-Charley), when I was a pretty heavy Black Friday shopper. I'd go out in search of big deals, early on Black Friday. Well, many shops were actually open last night, so I figured since we weren't doing anything, that we should check them out. So, my dad, his friend, Charley, and I went shopping on Thanksgiving. It felt kind of weird to be out shopping on a holiday, but it was kind of fun. We didn't go super early, so we missed the crazy lines and the rush of people at Target and Old Navy. But it definitely was an adventure...I got some great things for Charley, and a couple of things for myself...but leaving Target with only 5 (small) items...we looked kind of silly. People were walking around the store with multiple carts, breaking up into groups to get everything on their lists, carrying all kinds of electronics around the store...It was quite a sight. Charley took it upon herself to run around through the aisles, perusing the stores, while I attempted to simultaneously look around and chase after her. Let's just say, chasing Charley definitely won in that contest. Actually, I should probably be grateful for that. She probably saved me from spending a ton of money on things we don't need. Ha!

When I ask her to pose for a picture, this is what I get...

When we got back from our little excursion, Charley asked for some more turkey. She hadn't eaten that much at dinner, and I was certain she was still hungry. Besides, I knew she wouldn't sleep on an empty stomach, so I brought her some turkey. Within minutes, I noticed that the little red bumps were appearing again, and this time her lips were beginning to swell. I asked my dad what he'd seasoned the turkey with, and he said it was just olive oil, salt, and pepper...all things that Charley has been totally fine eating. But there was no denying it...the turkey seemed to be the problem. We were at my dad's house, which is about 45 minutes away from my home, and although I had an Epi-pen, I really didn't want to use it if I didn't have to. So, again, I slathered cortisone on her face, and raced to Walgreens down the street (thank goodness they were open),  to pick up some Benadryl. By the time I got back, the cortisone had already begun to reduce the bumps and swelling, but I gave Charley the Benadryl just to be on the safe side. It helped her fall asleep, too...Lucky me! Once she went to sleep, I started looking up the brand of turkey we'd eaten, to see if there were any additives listed that she could be allergic to, and I couldn't really pinpoint anything specifically. It looks like I'll have to take her back in for allergy testing. Yuck! Poor kid. I had the same thing done to me when I was 4, and I still remember it vividly. "It will only itch if you're allergic," the nurse told me, before she started pricking my back with small vials of allergens. I'm sure she didn't anticipate that my entire back would be inflamed for days afterwards...but it was! I'm just hoping that Charley doesn't have the same experience!

Rocking a new sweater. She's so grown up!

This morning, we woke up at my dads' and enjoyed being lazy around the house. We went to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, and then I took my English friend, Lily around the city. We drove through Edina, where I grew up, then into Minneapolis, St. Paul, Como Park...It was actually really fun to drive around and show her what a Minnesota city is like! We haven't seen each other in at least 5 years, too, so it was nice to catch up a little bit. By the time we got back to my dad's house, Charley and I were exhausted and really ready to get home. So, here we are. It's been a busy couple of days, but we've both enjoyed it. I hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and has a great weekend!

Ready for a Break! Thanksgiving Break, That Is...

I've been thinking about how it's been over a week since I've blogged for the last couple of days, but honestly, I couldn't think of anything in particular I wanted to write about until today. Today was...well... rough. Well, rough in my terms, which probably isn't all that bad to some people. But it seemed like a pot that was starting to bubble (probably due to the upcoming Thanksgiving break) finally boiled over, and my normally orderly students were bouncing off the walls! But before I get into that, let me talk a little bit about the last week or so...I'll try not to be too ADHD and bounce all over the place, I promise. Anyway, here we go...

Over a week ago, there was a big snowfall in Minnesota. Shocking, I know. Anyway, as usual, I found myself totally unprepared. It's funny... For some things, I am always totally prepared (work, scheduling, etc.)... but when it comes to the weather, I always seem to be caught off-guard and find myself stuck in the mud, in a sense. Well, the snow hit, and fortunately my neighborhood was plowed fairly early, so I was able to get around pretty easily, and within a couple of days quite a bit of the snow had melted. But then it snowed again. And I didn't have a shovel. Typical. I shoveled all the time growing up, but give me a break, I lived in Las Vegas for 4 years, and the last two years I lived in a duplex, where the landlord shoveled us out all the time and a shovel really wasn't necessary. I suppose I got a little spoiled in that sense. Anyway, I got myself a shovel and now I'm a little bit more prepared for the impending ice storm that's supposedly coming this way over the weekend!

I've been working twice a week at the new gym, and I have to say, I'm impressed with the quality of training, particularly in a community education program. I don't have anything against community ed programs, but when it comes to gymnastics, you generally get what you pay for. In this case, however, the girls are really well-trained...and they want to learn! So they're really fun to work with. I'm having fun getting to know them a little bit, and figuring out where I can be the most helpful and best-utilized. I have to admit, I was a little bit nervous about committing to weeknight hours, mostly because I'm afraid I'm going to burn out...but now that Charley has a place to go (that she LOVES), I'm finding that the long days really aren't that bad. And I LOVE having a weekend. I told someone the other day that this is the first time in 13 years I've had a full weekend, and that's true. Gymnastics coaches almost always work weekends. So I'm enjoying being able to relax like a normal person (well, not quite like a normal person...I'll always be a total busy-body), two days a week.

Okay, let me get to the events of the last couple of days. It's interesting. When I was in school, I remember being overly excited about holiday breaks, because I got a couple of days off to relax and be with family. Some of my students are excited about Thanksgiving break next week...others are not. Not at all. But they can't verbalize that or even really recognize their stress, so they act out in different ways. Teachers anticipate this type of anxiety as breaks approach, but it seemed to hit earlier than usual, this year! Anyway, I've got a couple of kids who are a little bit out-of-sorts, because they aren't really sure what the break will bring. So, it's my job to try to redirect them, try to get them to talk about their feelings, and understand their underlying motivations. Easy, right? Ha! Not so much. But I try. The week started off alright, but the kids have gotten progressively more anxious, hyper, and distractible.  Today was no exception, and a few of my generally well-behaved students, were a bit off. Naturally, I had an observation today. Great timing, right? My observer came in while I had one student writing an apology letter, and two students going back to class. When my other students came in, they got right to work, but one student consistently interrupted. The phone rang (which never happens), several people came in to pick papers up from the printer, and when the lesson was over, one of the students in my next group (who was WAY off today) barged into the room, and exclaimed, "What are you doing?! Playing a GAME?" It was the perfect ending to the lesson. Totally summed up the distractions that had appeared throughout my normally effective math class. There's something to be said for working in a resource room, though... You've got to be prepared for anything, and if nothing else, at least the observer got a picture of life in the resource room!

While it's been a bit of a crazy week, it has had some great moments. One little girl (who is absolutely adorable), has been coming in looking sad, with her hair covering her face all week.  Today, I said something to her about it. She made mention of her mom not having time to do her hair in the morning, because she had to get to work.  So I pulled her hair back into a little ponytail...and her attitude changed instantly. Her classroom teacher told me later in the day that her students were having conversations about what they're thankful for. My little girl said, "I'm thankful for teachers that help me a lot and do my hair." That made me feel so good. Something that seems so insignificant made a difference in her day. 

Alright, it's time for me to head to bed. Charley and I went to our friends' house for dinner tonight, and I'm exhausted. It was a nice evening, though. The kids played, my friend and I got to catch up, and Charley fell asleep within a half an hour of getting home. It was just what I needed at the end of a long day! Have a great weekend!

Something Special

Ok, while this post will summarize my last week or so, quite a bit of it will focus on Charley, so be forewarned. Since I posted last, I've celebrated Halloween, had my first full weekend off in a very long time, worked two jobs, attended two meetings (thus writing two sets of sub plans...my teacher friends will understand why that's annoying), developed laryngitis, gotten my iPad fixed, and finally gotten caught up on sleep. Phew, that was a lot of information for one sentence. Anyway, the week was jam-packed, but in spite of losing my voice, it was a really successful week.

Before I get into the events of the last week, I suppose I should touch base about Halloween. Charley and I went over to my friend Michelle's house to trick-or-treat with her two kids. Michelle's husband dressed up like a scarecrow and sat outside, waiting to pass out candy to the kids, while we took our kids out to get some candy. It was quite an experience! People were pulling kids in trailers, there was a horse and carriage taking kids through the neighborhood...even a haunted house at the end of the block! The funny part is, Charley and Michelle's daughter Evie, didn't notice any of that. They were too busy chit-chatting and playing music on Evie's light-up Elsa dress. The girls nearly got trampled several times by older children, but they were lost in conversation and totally oblivious. All three kids ended up with tons of candy, and because Charley can't have anything with nuts or peanuts, I ended up with quite a stash myself...A stash I actually brought into school. Not without eating a Reese's though...Do you know how long it's been since I ate a Reese's? Mmmmm....Heaven.

Anyway, by the time we got home Friday night, I was exhausted. I was coming off of a 21+ day working streak and two of those days had been 13 hour days. Charley was tired, too. As much as I've been busy, she generally has to come along for the ride whether she wants to or not, so she was wiped out after trick-or-treating. Charley fell asleep on the couch, and I was in bed before 10. It was great. Over the weekend, Charley and I enjoyed not really having anything scheduled. We had chores to get done and errands to run, but nothing we absolutely HAD to do. Except, of course, for meeting up with Jackie and Chris, Charley's new babysitters.

When I started coaching at the gym in North Branch, the program director found a family that was willing to take Charley while I was at work. On my first night in the gym, the director introduced Charley to Jackie and Chris, the parents of one of the girls I work with. They were very friendly, but Charley was not entirely sold. I think she knew that meeting them eventually meant she would have to be away from me. She's such a mama's girl. Anyway, I talked to Jackie about getting together over the weekend, so Charley and I (well...all of us) could get a little bit more comfortable with one another. We went over to their home on Sunday night, and it was like being at home. While I chatted with Jackie and Chris, Charley got acclimated to the space, and played with their daughter. I felt much better about leaving Charley with them, and Charley definitely seemed comfortable. On Monday when I dropped her off, she ran in without an issue, waved goodbye, and apparently did just great. When they brought her to the gym, Chris said, "It was like she's known us her whole life." I guess she was singing and dancing to her iPad, and, of course, making sure she had the whole family's attention.

She always wants to get dolled up!

This is where the focus of my post really turns to Charley. I am seriously so lucky to have a child like her. It's not just because she's smart. I know she's smart. She always has been. But she is just so adaptable in social situations, particularly with adults. I don't know what to attribute that skill to. I mean... there are probably several factors involved. For one thing, she's being raised by a single mom. She has to come along with me, most of the time, more by necessity than by choice. Maybe that's impacted her social maturity. She's also spent time with friends and family, who act like Charley is just part of their families. She's used to fitting in, even when she's the only child in the room. I could also credit all of the coaches and parents who treated her like one of their own, at Kenwood (and Sasso's in Vegas, for that matter). They didn't have to. In fact, they could've been annoyed that she came along while I coached. But they never complained. In fact, on the days Charley was NOT with me, I generally got questions about her. "Where's Charley?" disappointed moms would ask. Ha! I loved that. I'm often amazed at how easily Charley can wrap someone around her finger, and have that person totally engaged for long periods of time. Men, in particular. Even the most straight-faced, inexpressive men will engage in conversation with Charley and usually crack a smile at the very least, within minutes of meeting her. It's impressive. It's also a little scary (I'm thinking of her teenage years).  Anyway, this all relates back to Jackie and Chris' house, because Charley didn't know them well, but seemed to be able to adapt to their house rules quickly and easily. According to Jackie, "She is so polite! And very sweet. I call her Little Miss Manners, because she always says please and thank you. She is such a sweet girl!" What more could a mother ask for?

This kid loves a good hair cut.

 It's funny, because I had at least 5 conversations about manners at work last week. Most of the issues stem from the fact that teachers will greet students as they walk by, and the children say nothing in response. That's happened to me several times. I'm not one for being ignored, so I've been known to say, "EXCUSE ME! Come back here, please. When someone says 'Good morning' to you, it is rude not to respond." I think any time someone communicates with you, and you don't respond, it's rude. It's just not how I was raised. I require my students to say hello when they enter my classroom, and say goodbye before they leave. And you know what? They do it every time.In fact, some of them have started a little contest with me, getting creative with, "See ya later, Alligator," "In awhile, Crocodile," "See ya soon, Baboon," trying to come up with rhymes so they say goodbye last. It's cute. Their peers might not recognize the need to respond to adults, but my students do (well, most of them do) and I appreciate that. It's a social skill we generally don't think about teaching, because it seems like common sense politeness. But kids aren't necessarily learning this at home. I would say that my friends' kids are exceptionally polite. They have great parents. That's why we're friends! But unfortunately, at this point, politeness is the exception, not the rule. This is why I appreciate that Charley shows those social skills outside of the house. From the Target cashier, to the dad watching his daughter get her hair cut at the salon, to the older women checking out her macaroni and cheese at Noodles and Co. last night, Charley makes no exceptions. She's friendly with everyone (everyone she doesn't think is a 'creeper,' that is). It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. She truly is, something special.

With that, I'm going to relax on the couch and try not to talk for the rest of the night, so this laryngitis goes away. I'm hoping to sound like a human before Monday. Chances are slim, but I'll give it a shot. Have a great weekend!

Moving On

I really should be sleeping right now, but I just got home about 45 minutes ago, and I generally need to have at least 30 minutes to myself before I get to bed. Why did I just get home? Well, I was working. I've pretty much come to accept that until I share expenses with someone, I will have to work two jobs, if I want to give Charley the life she deserves. It's okay, though, because I always seem to fall into jobs that I actually enjoy (I'm very lucky in that sense), and it's just something I have to do!

Generally, when I've talked about a second job, I've talked about coaching at Kenwood. I ADORE Kenwood... But I currently live close to an hour away from the gym. That's a fairly long drive, and I've been making that drive every Sunday for quite some time, now. For the last couple of months, I've been working 6 days a week, and that additional drive time has worn on me. So, last weekend, I worked my last day at Kenwood. I was actually really sad to go. I knew it was time for me to move on, because it just wasn't working for my family anymore. But that didn't make it easy. I said goodbye to some wonderful families I've worked with for the last several years (and when I say wonderful, I really mean it), and even though I know I'll see them again at some point, it means things are changing, and change can be difficult. When I submitted my resignation, I received a response that was very kind and supportive. It was nice to know that my friends (extended family) at the gym felt the same way about me as I feel about them. And it's nice to know that I'll always have a home at Kenwood, particularly if I move back that direction. It's hard to see that chapter of my life close, but as that door closed, another one seemed to open almost immediately.

Over the last 6 months, I've been approached by several dance studios, asking that I come in and teach tumbling to their dancers. I seem to have built a bit of a reputation as a "gymnastics for dance," coach, and it's worked well for me. But it never really felt right to look at teaching at one of those studios for two reasons. First, I worked at Kenwood, and felt like that would've been an ethical issue for me. But second, I'm a gymnastics coach, not a dance teacher. I haven't been able to coach much gymnastics over the last year or so, just because it hasn't fit into my schedule with Charley. I've primarily taught tumbling, and while I enjoy that, I've noticed that I actually MISS coaching all of the events. I'm a gymnast. I want to coach ALL aspects of gymnastics. But due to my teaching schedule, it just hasn't really been feasible...Until now.

The other day, I got a phone call from a woman who directs a gymnastics program in a small town about 20 minutes North of my home. I teach school with a man who used to coach gymnastics (we joke that he likely coached me, when I was about 4), and apparently he had passed on my name to the high school gymnastics coach. She was calling to see if I was interested in coaching the high school team. Part of me has really wanted to coach high school gymnastics, because I competed at Edina High School for 6 years...and loved it. As we talked, we determined that it wouldn't make sense for me to coach the high school team, because their practice schedule didn't line up with my teaching schedule. "Well, we actually have an XCel team in the community ed program," she said, "I'd love for you to work with those girls, too, if you're interested. I'd only need you two nights a week." I really had to think about it. I explained to her that I'm a full-time single mom, and that the only issue with that idea was the fact that I would need to find and pay for childcare while I worked. "I can take care of that," she told me. I wasn't really sure what she had in mind, but I went into the gym to talk to her, to see if this was really feasible for me. Basically, she set up childcare for Charley, at no cost to me. That's huge, because generally, I would have to pay a sitter $10 an hour, which kind of defeats the purpose of working to earn extra money. There really is something about a small town, in that sense, though...everybody knows everybody, and all the director had to do was make a few phone calls, and she had a family volunteer to watch Charley while I coached. How amazing is that? Anyway,  I decided to give it a shot. I'd already told Kenwood of my resignation, and I truly do rely on that additional income to pay for Charley's daycare. I can't live on a teacher's salary (sad, but true). Basically, it seemed like it could work. At least it's worth a shot, right?

So, tonight I coached. I coached every event. I got to do all of the things that I have wanted to do for a long time, but haven't had the opportunity to do, because of logistics. When I was at Kenwood, they would've let me coach any group, at pretty much any level. But unfortunately, the level of gymnasts I wanted to coach trained frequently and fairly late into the evening. Considering that I teach all day, there just wasn't really any way to make that work, particularly when it meant two hours of driving in addition to my coaching hours. Anyway, I never quite know what to expect when I go into a new gym. I'm not necessarily sure of systems, and how things go. Basically, the director gave me a group of girls, and said, "Go ahead and take them to beam." I was admittedly surprised at her instant confidence in me, but I appreciated it. Beam is my favorite event to coach, too, so I was excited! It was fun to spot backhandsprings on beam, and help kids connect different series' of skills and combinations. I made little technical suggestions, and watched girls who were falling off the beam on cartwheels and back walkovers, suddenly stick 10 in a row. I felt effective. It was nice! I even got a message from her shortly after I left, thanking me for coming in, and essentially stating that it's been a long time since she had a new coach come in who didn't need training, and she was grateful that the teacher at my school had sent her my name. That was very much appreciated.

At this point, I'm tired. I worked quite a long day, and I will now be doing that twice a week. But I will also have a weekend. Two days off...In a row! There have been times in the last 3 months where I've worked 21 days in a row, and although I'm a natural workaholic, I'm also human, and I am so excited to have a weekend to spend with Charley. She's only young once and I want to enjoy it! Speaking of Charley... I feel the need to address her school pictures. Seeing those for the first time was probably the highlight of my week. Let me start from the beginning... On picture day, I picked out three different outfits that she could choose from. She chose the cheetah print shirt. That was fine with me, so I got her dressed, put her hair up in a pony tail, made sure she didn't have any leftover breakfast on her face, and took her to school. They were working on pictures when I got there, and I watched Charley have a few photos taken... HAT FREE. Then I left for work. Fast forward two weeks (until yesterday), and as I walked into the school, I noticed a big poster, announcing that photos had arrived. I was kind of excited to see them. Charley's teacher dug through the stack, and passed me the stack of photos. That's when I saw the hat. Charley's cheetah print hat that I bought her when she was about a year old. "Why are you wearing a hat?!" I asked her. "I had to look fabulous," she responded. I couldn't stop laughing. We received a photo of all of the students in her class, and she's the ONLY one wearing a hat. That made me laugh even harder. She totally marches to the beat of her own drum, that's for sure. My biggest concern is that the parents will look at her picture amongst her friends' photos, and think, "That poor girl. Her mom must've made her wear that hat." Ha! Oddly enough, that is TOTALLY not the case. The truth is, my hilarious child snuck that hat to school and out of her back pack, so she could be (in her words), "matchy-matchy." Awesome. I love her. And I love those pictures. They will be saved to show all future boyfriends. And on that note, goodnight!

Something About This Time of Year...

This week has been busy, but great. It was absolutely beautiful in Minnesota.  Last weekend, Charley and I had the chance to get pumpkins at my dad's annual office gathering, and enjoy the weather. I had a Charley-free night last Saturday (thanks, Mom!), so I actually went OUT for a couple of hours. It was amazing. When school started on Monday, I saw the weather as a good omen.The sun was shining almost the entire week, it was warm outside, and leaves were changing colors and falling from the trees. It was almost picture perfect. It was a pretty wonderful week at work, too. I had a couple of meetings, so I had to get to work early several days this week, but my kids were just fantastic. I had an observation yesterday which I always remember being really intimidating, when I was in my first teaching job. But yesterday's observation was so different from that. The principal sat down with the kids, and participated in the activities they were doing. The kids LOVED that, and they really did a good job. Phew. One observation down, just about a million more to go! 

Anyway, it was a great week. It was one of those weeks where everything just felt settled. When I got home from work every night, I felt like I'd gotten everything I wanted to accomplish, completed. As a single mom...well let's just say that doesn't happen very often! But this week I kind of felt like I was able to do everything that needed to get done. It was nice. I think there's something about this time of year that's kind of grounding for me. The last couple of years around this time, I've found myself a little bit more ready to settle down in all areas of my life. Particularly my romantic life...Ha! I really do think it has something to do with the time of year....Maybe there's something in the air. I mean, in the last couple of weeks I've heard from several men I dated...Like two years ago. I mean...It's seriously been a long time. Two of them I only went on a couple of dates with, while one was a man I dated for four months, and it just kind of died off. I wouldn't exactly call them exes because I never went so far as to commit to any of them, and honestly, I was kind of the one who ended things in all three situations. It's been months (close to a year, in one case), since I've heard from these guys, and just like every other time they've reached out to me, I honestly didn't know how to respond. When someone texts me, it's just in my nature to respond. But when the texts come from people I really have no interest in engaging with, I kind of have a hard time. I think the most awkward conversation went like this:

Guy I Dated for Four Months Who I Haven't Heard From in a Year: Hey!

Me: Hi. How are you?

Guy: Good! Just sitting here, thinking about you.

Me: That's nice. (I really didn't know how to respond to that. If I was interested, I might've found it kind of sweet. But I'm not...at all. I kind of think it is the equivalent of someone saying, "I love you," and hearing, "Thank you," in return...But hopefully not that harsh...Ha! )

Guy: I'm getting married! 

Me: That's great! Congratulations!

Guy: Just kidding! I'm not getting married!

Me: I figured. Anyway, I'm glad to know you're doing well. Take care.

Ummmm...awkward! How did I date that guy for 4 months?! Anyway, I think my point with all this is the fact that there is something in the air this time of year. Maybe it's because by this time, work has generally settled into a fairly good routine, and I have a better vision of what I want my students to accomplish...So I am more in a place where I have TIME to start thinking about those things. And  it seems to be the season when people reach out to try to reconnect. Unfortunately, I'm not in the place where I'm really willing to reconnect with people I was never terribly connected with in the first place. A year ago, I might've been more willing to engage. But at this point, I'm not really interested. I guess I'm just so far beyond the point in my life where I will talk to people I'm not terribly interested in, just for the purpose of having male attention. That phase in my life was fleeting, and passed quite quickly (shortly after my divorce), because I legitimately am more into depth and connections than meaningless compliments from people I don't even really like. And let's face it... I'm totally ADHD... If someone doesn't have anything interesting to talk about and keep me on my toes, I lose interest in about 3.2 seconds. Just saying.  I AM ready to put more effort into a relationship with the right person...but I don't really want to date... Can't I just skip that part? Ha! A girl can dream, right?

Clearly, even though I seem to be in a settling mode, I'm not entirely settled yet. But that's okay. I keep telling myself that once I get into a little bit simpler routine where I might actually have some full weekends, and I stop living my life like a complete workaholic, I'll actually be more capable of settling. I really do think that's true. I've got a lot going on, but I am hoping it will all fall into place, so I can give Charley more QUALITY time and an even better quality of life. My goal is to work all of the logistics out before the holidays. It's good to have goals, right? 

With all of that said, it really was a great week. There were some hiccups here and there, but I really can't complain. Fingers crossed for more great weather this weekend! On that note, have a great night!

Just in Time!

I love that smile!

Tomorrow the annual MEA (Minnesota Education Association) break begins. Essentially, the importance of the break for teachers like me is the fact that it means we have a day off. This particular break came about just in time. I know I mentioned that I've been working fewer hours at the gym, and that has really relieved quite a bit of stress on my end. However, this week we had parent-teacher conferences, so that meant staying at the school until 7:30 or 8 on Monday and Tuesday. Twelve hour days are certainly enough to do me in!  Anyway, today we wrapped up conferences, and students had the day off, which  was probably a good thing, because all of the teachers would've been SUPER crabby, due to lack of sleep! Ha!

Last weekend was busy. I had a friend watch Charley for a little while on Saturday, and Charley had a complete blast. She couldn't stop talking about "Katie Pilz." Apparently she called Katie by her first and last name the entire time she was with her. That sounds like my Charley! Anyway, she came home with a painted pumpkin, a little light-up ring, and a little Halloween bucket. She couldn't have been happier. Katie said Charley had kept her family laughing all morning. That made me feel really great. I also felt wonderful when Katie texted me later to let me know how polite Charley had been. I guess at one point during the morning, Katie had two treats and there were three people. Charley said, "It's okay. You can have my treat." That made me feel really wonderful as a parent. I'm glad my little Charley is so friendly and generous. Most of the time, at least! Ha! Saturday afternoon, we went to the apple orchard with my sister, then Saturday evening one of my neighborhood girlfriends came over to chit chat for awhile. It was a busy day for sure, but it was pretty fantastic!

Picture day! Totally a fake smile...

Sunday, I worked at the gym, as usual. Then, when Monday rolled around, I knew I was in for a long couple of days. The kids all knew it was only a two day week, so they were distractible from the moment they walked in on Monday until the moment they walked out the door on Tuesday afternoon. It was just one of those weeks.  It didn't help that the teachers were staying late for conferences. Honestly, most of my conferences were great. I work with parents who are, for the most part, incredibly supportive and encouraging of their children. I only had one who seemed to be unhappy, but there's always one in the bunch, right? As I drove home last night, I was questioning why I'd left the school feeling so exhausted and...well...crabby. Then I realized I hadn't ingested any caffeine at ALL. That pretty much explained it! With that said, I got home, and Charley and I had passed out by 8:45. It was amazing.

Apparently Charley felt the need to wear a
disguise today... Ha!

This morning, I felt great. I got a great night's sleep, and was able to have a cup of coffee in peace, because Charley slept in a bit. I dropped her off at school, and headed into work for a somewhat relaxing day of conferences, planning, and meetings. I'd been at school for about 45 minutes when my classroom phone rang. I answered. Sure enough, it was Charley's teacher on the other end. Apparently one of Charley's friends snuck in the door with some food from home. Peanut butter. And who did this little girl run up to hug? Charley. The child with a severe peanut allergy. Somehow she managed to get her hands all over Charley's face, and my kiddo was breaking out in hives. I raced down to the principal's office, explained what had happened, and flew out the door. When I got to Charley's school, I was relieved to see that the hives were not nearly as bad as they had been the last time she had a peanut-related reaction. Nonetheless, I took her home, gave her some Benadryl and put cortisone on her hives, and let her relax for a few minutes. She was honestly fine, but definitely shaken up by all of the excitement. After spending a few minutes at home, I brought her back to school, where her director apologized profusely and assured me that she had already addressed the issue with the other child's parents. I think I was calmer and more understanding than they'd anticipated. I mean, I was certainly frustrated...but getting all worked up won't do any good. Don't get me wrong... on the inside, I was panicking. I don't think some parents realize just how serious a food allergy can be! But I just needed reassurance that precautions would be taken to make sure it didn't happen again. Charley spent the rest of the day at school, and I went back to work.

This picture sums us up pretty well!

So, with all of that said, it's been quite a week so far. And yes, I believe this short vacation came about just in time. I'm looking forward to a couple days to myself, cleaning the house, running errands, and maybe even getting a pedicure! It's definitely a much-needed break. On that note, have a great rest of the week!