A Well-Deserved Long Weekend!

Whoa, this week was a doozy! The long weekend couldn't have come soon enough! As the school year is winding down, the kids have more and more field trips and special activities. While these are fun for the students, they also create disruptions in the school day, which can be particularly difficult for the students I work with, who benefit from routine. If they have to miss out on an activity for one reason or another, it generally hits them hard, and they have difficulty expressing how they feel, so it comes out in anger. I was lucky and didn't have any huge meltdowns from my kiddos, but I seemed to be putting out little fires all week long. While that is one of my favorite parts of my job, I didn't anticipate putting out QUITE so many fires this week!

Outside of school, I've found that Charley is going through a phase that has come along a little bit too early for my liking. Charley is generally in bed by 7:30 or 8:00. This week, I think she was up until at least 9:00, with the exception of last night. Yes, that's right, on SATURDAY she was in bed at like 7:45, but during the week, when I have to be up at 5:30, she was wide awake until 10. Typical. Anyway, I think the change in her sleep pattern is due to a couple of things. First of all,  Charley is supposed to go visit her dad and grandparents in a couple of weeks. She has done it once before, and did just fine. This time around, we've been talking about it quite a bit, so she is prepared. However, she has been having a hard time lately, when it comes to her dad. She's in school now, and very aware of the other kids' families, and notices that many of the kids are dropped off or picked up by their dads. In turn, she's been asking a lot of questions, such as, "Can my dad come to our house?" and "Is my dad in our family?" It's heartbreaking. My response is always something like, "Yes, your dad can come to our house if he comes in town," or, "Your dad is in your family, but not in mine. He loves you, because you're his daughter." I think the hardest is when she suggests that I get married to her daddy. It's happened several times, and each time, I have to explain that her dad and I will not be getting married, but we both love her. Now, my relationship with Charley's dad has never been perfect, particularly since our separation and divorce. However, it is my firm belief that the things that went wrong in my marriage are things that Charley should never know. I want her to have a healthy relationship with her father and his family, so it's a goal of mine to impart as much positivity as possible when she asks about them. She is so observant and perceptive, that she's picked up on how our family is different from others, and it happened earlier than I'd expected. I'm muddling through, and hoping I'm telling her the right things! I'm pretty good at talking about these types of issues with my students, but they're 10. She's 3. She doesn't have the emotional maturity to comprehend or verbalize how she's feeling. It's certainly been a challenge for me the last couple of weeks, that's for sure!

Okay, enough of the pity party. I think another reason Charley's bedtime routine has been upset lately has to do with the fact that we were BUSY every night last week! I finally got my long-awaited tax return, and I'd been telling my family that once I got the money in the bank, I would go get myself some new glasses. To make a long story short, my glasses got broken (in half...monocle style...classy!) several months ago, and since my vision has never been that bad, I've just been doing without. Well, in the last two months or so, I've found myself squinting more and more, and finally gave in and went to the eye doctor. By the time it was all said and done, I'd spent a small fortune on new glasses and prescription sunglasses (BEST purchase ever), and spent much of my Monday evening out of the house. On Tuesday, we had some neighbors over for awhile, which was great, but somewhat out of Charley's routine, so she was up late again. The rest of the week is kind of mush in my brain, because the kids at the school wiped me out so drastically, all of the days blend together. What I DO know, though, is that our routine was disrupted, and Charley responded by staying up hours past her bedtime, which meant the time I usually have to myself to get things done around the house, was nonexistent. Nice.

With the craziness of the week, I was so excited for the weekend! Saturday, I ran some errands while my mom watched Charley for a couple of hours. Even just a few hours to myself on a weekend is always appreciated! When we got home, we made some dinner, chatted with the neighbors, who were outside gardening, and went to bed early. It was great. I went to bed with the intention of sleeping in, because I knew I wouldn't have to work today, because the gym was closed. Sleep in? That was wishful thinking. Around 5:00 a.m. I awoke, to my phone ringing. "Why the $#%^ is my mom calling me at 5:00 on her birthday?" I thought to myself. Sure enough, it was an unfortunate accidental dial, but nonetheless I was wide awake at 5. By the time I got myself back into a sleepy zone, Charley had decided it was time to get up. At 6. Awesome. We had a great day, though! We met up with a friend of mine and her kids at the Como Zoo, and had a wonderful time. Charley didn't stop talking about her new friends, the buffalo, polar bear, and giraffes, until she fell asleep! It was nice to get out of the house and do something fun on such a nice day. After the zoo, we went to my mom's for her birthday dinner, which was nice. Charley got to play with one of her cousins, and we all had a chance to celebrate with my mom. It was a nice way to spend a pre-Memorial Day Sunday!

So, my goal for tonight is to sleep past 6:00 tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that I can subconsciously communicate with Charley that JUST because the sun comes up, it doesn't mean it's time to get out of bed! Have a safe Memorial Day, and a great week!

Girls Nights...Two in a Row!

Whoa, what a weekend! Remember a couple of weeks ago when I talked about having a night to myself,  and packing it full of activities? Well, this weekend was the same way. Packed from beginning to end...but it was amazing!

On Friday afternoon, Charley and I went shopping with two of my girlfriends. We grabbed dinner, and shopped around the mall a little bit. Charley needed an outfit for my mom's upcoming retirement party, so we looked for that, and I did a little bit of window shopping for myself. Now that I know the space I'll be moving to, I've been keeping my eye out for FURNITURE, as opposed to things for myself. Anyway, we got home late (well, late for Charley), and she went to bed right away. I was hoping she'd be so tired she would be inspired to sleep in on Saturday morning. No such luck. She was up bright and early, at 6:00, and ready to start the day. I'm generally a morning person, but 6 a.m. on a Saturday should be too early for anyone, right? We had kind of a lazy morning, and didn't even make it in to gymnastics. It was one of those days where you know you have lots of time before something starts, and so you move slowly...and then you realize that your leisurely morning lead you to suddenly be running behind! So, we skipped the gym, and I took Charley to my mom's house, where she would be spending the day and night. I went immediately to Ikea, where I met up with a friend of mine to browse, and get some ideas for my new place. She's moving soon, too, but to a very different style of apartment, so we were definitely searching for different things. I got some ideas, particularly for toy storage. I don't know about anybody else, but I swear, Charley's toys have completely taken over my current place! It's out of control. So, I picked up some storage bins, and found myself genuinely excited to bring them home, and start sorting through her things!

I didn't go straight home, after Ikea, though. As I mentioned in my last post, I had booked a massage for Saturday. When I went to check in, and said I'd never had a massage before, I got looks of downright pity from the receptionists. "Oh, you HAVE to get massages," they said, "Make it your me time." Well, I figured I would have the massage and go from there. I was early for my appointment, so I went into the Tranquility Room (basically a replica of the waiting room, but with soft music and hot tea), and waited to be called back. As I sat there, 6 other people came through the door, waiting for their appointments. As the massage therapists started coming out to get their 2:00 appointments, I was certain I'd be the first one called....or the second...or MAYBE the third. Nope! Sure enough, I was the last one called back, because my therapist was running a few minutes late. I kept telling myself, "This is your relaxing time. Don't get irritated by something little." So, when I finally got called back, I was more than  little bit excited. I got to the room, got under the blanket, and explained that I wasn't really experiencing any pain, but I just wanted a relaxation massage, with medium pressure. Well, if I received medium pressure, I have NO idea what deep pressure could feel like. 90% of the experience was incredible. I was relaxed, and felt great. The masseuse kept concentrating on a couple of ridiculous knots in my back, and while she was working on my left shoulder, she kept asking me if a certain area was painful. "Not on a daily basis," I replied, "But I can definitely feel it right now!" She kept working on it, and said, "Hmmm....I think you should get that checked out. It feels like you have a tendon...but there's not supposed to be a tendon there. In my 15 years doing this, I've never felt anything like it!" Ha! Typical. One of those things that could only happen to me...Or my friend Kellie.... Anyway, the massage was great, I left feeling relaxed, and I'm ridiculously sore today, so I guess it was probably effective.

After the massage, I finally made it home to start sorting through Charley's toys. I am pretty sure my dog was silently cursing me, as I dumped toys all over the floor, and started sorting them into the appropriate bins. He was not amused. But I got started sorting, both in Charley's room and the living room (which was probably the least efficient organization method ever), and at some point, I ended up cleaning under the bathroom sink. I'm still not quite sure how that transition took place, but nonetheless, it did! Once I started in the bathroom, I ended up cleaning it from top to bottom, throwing out old makeup and lotions, sorting all of my things into appropriate categories (hey, I was on a roll, I figured I'd go with it), and scrubbing the tub and the sink. Meanwhile, I still had toys and bins out all over the floor in both the living room and Charley's room. I made a conscious decision to clean Charley's room first, and move into the living room later. Then, I realized I hadn't checked my phone in awhile. I'd missed 5 text messages, and realized that I was supposed to be across town for dinner with a girlfriend in 45 minutes. So, I gave up on the task at hand (realizing I'd be up until 1 a.m. finishing my various projects), threw on some clothes, glanced in the mirror and accepted that I looked like a mess, and raced out the door.

Dinner was awesome. I met up with my friend Lindsay, and we chatted for hours with a glass of wine by the fire at Tavern on France. Lindsay is one of my oldest friends, and she's one of those women that I can go weeks if not months without talking to, and when we finally DO catch up, our friendship is still exactly the same. We both have a lot going on right now, so it's been hard to get together. It seems like whenever I'm available, she's working, or busy, and vice versa. But I'm so glad we made it work last night. She asked me about my life, my upcoming move, and of course, Charley. She's the child of a single mother (who's totally amazing, by the way), and she said some really nice things to me, mostly about me making time for myself. Looking back, this was one of my New Year's resolutions, and I haven't done it very well. It's just that, with Charley in school all day, I feel guilty sometimes, asking for people to babysit on the weekend. And at the same time, I don't want to put anybody out. "You HAVE to do it, Linds," she said, "You have to take care of YOU, and make time for yourself sometimes. And Ryan and I will babysit." Ha! It was a generous offer, and I know I'll take her up on it. She made it very clear that I wouldn't be putting them out at all, and I know she's right. She's not the only one of my high school girlfriends who has made that offer, and I really need to start taking advantage of that every once in awhile.

Anyway, Lindsay is recently engaged, so I was asking all kinds of questions about the wedding. It was really nice to hear her plans, and get an idea of her vision for the wedding. She and her fiancee are so well-suited for each other, and I honestly enjoy watching them interact. He met us out last night, and he just blends so smoothly into the conversation. He's a genuinely nice person, and watching the two of them together...how well they complement each other...it's inspiring. They make each other happy. Really happy. Each one of them seems to put the others' needs in front of their own, and it works. THEY work. And I'm so happy for them!

Alright, that was a LOT of rambling for the night. I'm exhausted. I hope everybody had a great weekend!

It's All Coming Together...

It's been a very busy and exciting week for me, and I haven't really had a chance to sit down and write about it. In my most recent blog, I talked about how much my life has changed in the last year, and how much I've changed, as a result. For the most part, I would like to think I've changed for the better. And it seems like the universe has finally aligned, to help me out! I'll fill you in on the last week, and get to the excitement that has come my way!

Over the weekend, I worked quite a bit. I judged team tryouts at the gym on Saturday, which was such an interesting experience. I've never actually had girls try out for a team before. It was a bit overwhelming, because 30 girls signed up, but 63 actually SHOWED up to try out for the team, and there were a limited number of spots. It was fun to see so many kids who were interested in becoming competitive in gymnastics. It's definitely my favorite hobby....And I love watching girls with some drive trying their hardest to do well! Just before tryouts, one of my regular private lessons texted me to see if I was available that day. I explained that the gym wasn't available due to tryouts, but that I could take her daughter on Sunday morning. Her response was, "But that's Mother's Day! Your day to be celebrated as a mommy!" She would've been happy to bring her daughter, but wanted ME to take a day off. That was so sweet! I appreciated her thoughtfulness. My Saturday evening didn't quite go as planned. I had been planning a night without Charley, but my mom had to cancel, so we ended up snuggling up on the couch watching The Little Mermaid. It was kind of a nice way to spend the night!

On Mother's Day, I woke up to several "Happy Mom's Day," text messages that got me off to a great start. Charley and I went to the gym, where I coached 2 private lessons, then Char and I played for awhile. That play time was probably one of the best Mother's Day gifts I could've gotten. We just got to have FUN together. After the gym, we met up with my family for brunch, which was wonderful. After gorging myself on a strawberry waffle, Charley and I had to race out of the restaurant, because we had somewhere to be...a town house we were looking at! And I had a good feeling about it. I know that a few weeks back, I wrote about a house that I absolutely adored. It felt like home. Well, I wrote an email to the landlord and told him I absolutely loved the town home, but couldn't commit to a May 15 move-in date. His tenant had mentioned that he owned several properties, so I asked him to contact me if he had anything becoming available in June or July. Sure enough, he responded and let me know that he had a unit available July 1st, in the same community...even the same floor plan as the original house. It wasn't even listed yet, so I had no competition. I was optimistic about it, and couldn't wait to check it out.

It was so interesting pulling up to the town home. The first home in the area that I'd looked at was home to a family. This particular unit was home to a single dad and his son. It was so funny to see the difference between a home decorated by a woman, and a home decorated by a single man. In the first house, there was art on the wall, family pictures everywhere, and it was very homey. In the house I viewed Sunday, there was a couch and a TV downstairs, a couch and a TV in the loft, minimal cooking utensils in the kitchen, and a bed and TV in both upstairs bedrooms. It just highlighted a major difference between men and women! Now, I certainly preferred the decor in the first home, but the lack of decor in the second home made it easier to visualize how I could decorate it for Charley and me. How we could make it OUR home. I fell in love with it, and put in an application on the spot. I was very honest with the landlord, and told him my finances haven't been perfect in the years since my divorce, but things have started to turn around for me in that area, after a long period of financial difficulty. He told me he understood, and basically told me that as long as my references checked out, the place would be mine as of July 1st.

So, all week I'd been anticipating a phone call from him. That phone call came today. Now, like I said, he made it clear on Sunday, that pending my reference check, I'd be able to move in at the beginning of July. But there was still that degree of nervousness, not knowing if it would fall through at the last minute. When I listened to the voicemail, he told me that he'd love to offer me the town home, and wanted to set up a time to fill out the paperwork. I was ECSTATIC. I'm pretty sure I was smiling all day (until, of course, one of my students decided to cop an attitude....I was, 'Serious Lindsey,' at that point... HA!). Anyway, when I called him to set up the time to sign the paperwork, I told him how excited I was. He surprised me with his response. He said, "Well, you know, I called your references. People like you Lindsey. They really do. That's about the best thing a landlord can ask for in a tenant." I was caught off guard, because I wasn't expecting the compliment. I mean, my references weren't the personal references I usually rely on for character evaluations. They were the principal at my school, the owner at the gym, and my current landlord. I've always had great interactions with all three of these references, but there was something about the way the statement was made that gave me a very warm-fuzzy feeling. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork...but it was nice! And I got the place, so I'll be forever grateful to those who helped make it possible!

Ok, so that's essentially why I'm so excited about things going on in my life today. This weekend, my mom offered to watch Charley on Saturday, until first thing Sunday morning, so I've already planned an Ikea date with a friend, and booked myself a massage...Funny story about that massage... It was actually a Christmas gift from a couple of my friends. When I told one of my friends that a couple had given me a massage for Christmas, her response was, "Together?!" It was one of those things that you say...then you hear it how it must've been heard...then rephrase it. Ha! Well, a couple didn't GIVE me a massage....they purchased a gift card for me to receive one. So I'm finally taking advantage, and I'm looking forward to relaxing. Sorry, that was totally off-topic. Anyway,  after that, my plan is to start boxing up Charley's toys. I have to do it while she's gone, otherwise she will be so mad at me! In the last week, she's developed a liking for repeating phrases like, "Ugh, that's SO ANNOYING." I've got my hands full. Good thing she's cute!

I'll leave you with a quote tonight. I came across this on FB the other day. "It's not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters. Count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles." I'm counting my blessings. I've had a LOT happen to me...a lot of negative things happen to me. But I'm still counting my blessings, because I have a lot to be thankful for right now. On that note, goodnight!

Baby Steps or Giant Leaps?

So, tonight Charley and I went out to dinner with an old friend of mine. This particular friend is one I've known since grade school, but we didn't really become close until I moved back to MN from Las Vegas. She's very sweet and supportive, and she is one of Charley's biggest fans, so naturally Charley adores her, too! Anyway, as we spoke tonight, she mentioned that she'd  glanced at several of my old blog posts a little while back, and she can't believe how drastically my life (and my blog) have changed, in such a short time. "I was reading about your online dating stories, and you're just not in that 'date around' place at all anymore. It feels like all that was so long ago!" she stated.  She's absolutely right.
I'm no longer interested in meeting dozens of people, and going out on lots of dates. I can't think of anything that sounds more exhausting and deplorable. At this point, I recognize that I've grown up. I'm ready to settle down. And as much as I'd like to forget some of my dating trials and tribulations of the last year and a half, I also need to acknowledge that even the worst moments served a purpose.

This all comes up, because my conversation with my friend prompted me to glance back at some of my first blog posts. I can't believe how many things I'd forgotten about writing down (some are slightly embarrassing)...and experiencing! It's like a running joke in my family that my sisters and I remember everything. EVERYTHING. Down to specific statements someone else made 15 years ago. Positive or negative, we remember it all. Don't try to tell my sister Kelsey you didn't say something, because she will not only be able to tell you word-for-word what you said, but she will also tell you what you were wearing, who else was there, etc...My memory is good, but hers is ridiculous. So it surprised me to look back at some of my posts, and see that there were SO many things that have happened in the past year that I didn't remember. I take that to mean they weren't as important, because I tend to remember the important things. So, I guess it's kind of nice for my own sake to keep this blog. It kind of gives me a chance to chronicle my life, and the opportunity to compare my past and present states of mind. It is funny, too, because I was at a very different point in my life, and that is evident in my writing. I guess I would like to call the initial phase of my blog my transitional phase. Now, I've moved into much more of a settled mode. What brought that on? A desire for self-improvement. I've always been a 'fixer' and tried to make things better or easier for everybody else in my life. But when I actually re-examined MYSELF and looked for how I could make my life more fulfilling, I came across a quote that seemed fitting: 

"Your life will improve only when you take small chances, and the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with yourself." 

Several months ago, when I was attempting to run GO! Gymnastics as a full-time job, I was struggling. I found myself so concerned about making ends meet, that I couldn't focus. I couldn't get anything done or be productive, because I was overwhelmed. When I was honest with myself, and determined that I needed to start looking for full-time jobs, suddenly, I felt the pieces fall into place. I took a risk, and applied for a teaching job...My first time in a face-to-face, special education setting since 2007 (although I guess many would say my classroom of misfits at Lynch could qualify as special education... Ha!). It was a chance. And a chance I'm so glad I decided to take. It's not just that I wanted the job at the school... I NEEDED it. I craved the structure, daily routine, and consistent paycheck. It was the right job, at the right time, and I feel fortunate to have a job that I love.

Now, with all of that said, since I started teaching in the classroom again, I feel like my life has come together. At this point, I have a few loose ends, but for the most part, I feel like I'm on the right track. I didn't get into the house Charley and I loved (I just couldn't commit to a May 15th move in date), but there's another home in the same community that's available July 1, so I have the potential of moving at that point. I can't wait to move, and get settled in a new home. I take that back... I LOATHE the whole moving process...but I can't wait to get settled in.  I'm looking forward to living outside of the cities a bit, and getting more involved in my community. With that said, part of me hopes a home in my desired community becomes available early to mid-June, because I'm anxious to make the move! Sorry, sidetracked a little....I was saying, I feel like my life is on the right track. I'm becoming more assertive, and standing up for things, where I might have backed down in the past. I'm finding that I actually ENJOY simple things like walking around the block with Charley when it's nice out. Charley continues to be well-adjusted and hilarious, so I guess I'm doing alright in the parenting department. My life is far from perfect, but after looking back and reading about my last year, it's clear to me that all of the steps I've made toward self-improvement, no matter how insignificant they might have been individually, have translated into giant leaps in terms of where I am in life right now. I'm glad I've started to take chances. With no risk, there's no reward. So, I will continue to take small chances, and see where they lead me. So far, so good! Goodnight!

Honesty and May Day Fun

I walked around Lake Calhoun yesterday, and I found myself in a very reflective, positive mood. I turned up my music, walked quickly, and enjoyed the weather. I wasn't surprised by the number of people, because it was a beautiful day. But it seems there were even more people there than usual, because the Cystic Fibrosis was going on. I found myself to be an unintentional participant in the fundraiser. Whoopsies! But even through all of the people and the hustle and bustle, I enjoyed doing something by myself, FOR myself. Walking. It was great, and it gave me an opportunity to think.

Today, I feel the need to write about honesty. This isn't my typical kind of post. I think the whole concept of honesty comes to mind at this time of year, because it was about two years ago that my life changed because of dishonesty, and I had the opportunity to start over. I'm a very honest person. I have told my share of white lies, particularly to Charley (she thinks every meat is chicken, matzo balls can pass for potatoes, and sausage is the same thing as pepperoni). However, when it comes down to the real issues, I'm honest. I've actually gotten BETTER at being honest in the last year or so. Not that I lied, before, but sometimes I'd hold back a little bit, simply to avoid an argument or hurt feelings. In working with my students, though, I've come to admire their honesty, and....dare I say....started to be more upfront, myself!

Now, don't get me wrong. There are times when their honesty can be downright rude. Like the time a student told me he thought I was little when I started working at the school, but now I seem like I'm normal sized. Hmmm.... So essentially, he told me I'd put on weight. He's right! But I was like, "Thanks a lot you little *#@%," Ha! Many times, their honesty is amusing. Such as the time last week, when a student told me he didn't like the project we're working on.  I'm having one of my writing groups re-write the words to Frozen's "Let it Go," to teach about long division. When I spoke with one of my students about it, he said, "You see, Ms. P, the boys don't really like this assignment."
"Why not?" I questioned.
"Well, the thing is, we don't really like to think that much. You like to think. But we don't. We'd rather just relax."
His reasoning was almost as hilarious as the delivery of the statement. He was totally polite, calm, and serious. It was as though his thought process was totally rational, and he was convinced that I would understand his point of view. It was hilarious! So, I politely and calmly stated, "Well, my friend, you don't come to school to relax. You can do that at home. You come to school to think. So get busy thinking, because you're not talking your way out of this one!" He gave me a defeated grin, and waved at me as I walked out of the room. I love my students!

I have grown to appreciate how honest kids can be. For better or for worse, they'll tell you how they feel. It's funny, because I feel like my students are far more open and honest with me than I would EVER have been with a teacher. If a teacher got a haircut that didn't look good, I'd still make a comment, and confirm that it looked great! If I had a crush on a boy in my class, the last person I would tell about it was my teacher! But my students tell me if my hair looks "poofy" and come to me if they have trouble with whoever they're "going out" with. But boy, are these kids honest, and often blunt. Do they bend the truth, if they think they'll get in trouble? Of course they do. They're kids. But if they're mad, for one reason or another, they have no issue letting it out!

Now, I decided to post about honesty today, for a reason. I think we, as adults, can learn a lot from kids when it comes to upfront, honest communication. It takes skill to be honest, and tactful at the same time, but it's something I'm working on. When I say that I'm working on it, I'm not implying that I have been dishonest. If anything, the only person I was really dishonest with in the past was myself. But I also hold back quite a bit, in order to avoid confrontation or uncomfortable situations. I did that in past relationships, and I generally found myself frustrated and annoyed...or very uncomfortable. Like the guy who asked me every time I saw him... "So...do you have any concerns about us, so far?" Ummmm.... the fact that he asked me EVERY time I saw him if I had concerns was a concern for me...Duh! But I'd just be like, "Nope, I'm good." I didn't want to deal with the discussion that was to follow, so I avoided it like the plague. In fact, I've avoided the, "What are we?" conversation several times. Danced around it like crazy, because it was so awkward, and I knew that once we had the conversation, I'd have to admit that I didn't really see things moving forward. That happened with 2 different guys...and I just let things taper off with them. Mostly because I wasn't secure enough to just come out and say, "You're a great guy, but you're not the one for me." That's an area where honesty is key, and I have gotten SO much better about it. I still have a hard time communicating what I want and need (my students certainly have NO difficulty in that area), but the last time I knew a guy wasn't right for me, I came right out and told him.  I swear, these kids are teaching me something!

Alright, before I wrap up here, I thought I'd share a project I did with my students this week. Thursday was May Day, and while that doesn't mean much to most people, it means a lot to me. As a child, my mom would help my sisters and I put together May baskets to deliver to our neighbors. We filled them with flowers and candy, placed them on the neighbors' doorsteps, rang the doorbell, and sprinted away, so we wouldn't get caught. Of course, all the neighbors knew it was us, because we became known for this little act of kindness, but we loved doing it. The whole purpose was to do something nice for someone else, with absolutely no expectation of receiving anything in return. The reward was in knowing that we made someone's day. Well, I decided to carry on this tradition at the school. The door to the classroom stayed shut most of the day, as the students worked busily, putting candy in baggies, and creating May baskets for all of the teachers in the school.   They placed them in the teachers' mailboxes, with little notes that said something like, "Dear Ms. P,
Happy May Day.
From,
????"
The major part of the lesson for the kids was that it's nice to do something for someone else, just for the purpose of being kind. They were really excited to do that. I can only recall one student asking why he didn't get candy, too, which is impressive. The others seemed content to bag the candy, and make their teachers' day a little bit brighter. With that said, they were successful. It's definitely a tradition I will continue in future years.

Totally random side note... I've had several people add me on Google+ recently. I've got my e-mail through Google, clearly this blog is through Google, and it seems that Google+ is the next step for me... It's confusing to me, though. I'm not even sure how or when I signed up for it, but I clearly recall a year ago, when I pulled it up for the first time and saw EVERY picture from my phone uploaded on the site. I'm not sure the world needed to see 40 Charley selfies... I quickly figured out how to fix that, but for some reason Google+ overwhelms me a bit. Anybody have experience with it, and have any tips for me? How does it compare to FB? With the option to add everybody, will it add everyone I've ever sent an e-mail to?That could be awkward... Ha! I'm just curious :)  Alright, no more rambling. Have a great week!

Weddings, Work, and Sore Abs

Preston taking off Charley's sock. I wish I had it on video!

Well, it's official. Wedding weekend is over. My dad's wedding, that is... Not mine! Ha!  It was so much fun, but if I'm totally honest, I am a little relieved that it's over. The reception was at my dad's house, and lots of family and friends came to celebrate, including my sister and her family, and two of my aunts. They all stayed at my dad's house, which meant everybody was out of their routine, and confined to one general location. Except for Charley and me, that is. It was nice to go home to a quiet house at the end of every evening, but Charley and I spent much of our weekend commuting between our house and my dad's house, because we didn't want to miss out on family time and activities! Let me start from the beginning....

Charley doing Preston's makeup.

Friday night, as I mentioned in a previous blog, everybody was in town, and Charley and I went over to visit after my long day at work. It was great to see everyone, but my students had worn me out. I was much more social on Saturday! Saturday morning, I got up bright and early and went over to my dad's house, where they were already starting to prepare for the evening festivities. My sister, her husband, and I took the kids to the park, so they could burn off some energy. They really are funny to watch play together. My nephew Preston is so much like my sister, and Charley is so much like me. At one point over the weekend, Charley came storming into the living room, stating, "I am NOT HAPPY with Preston right now." Ha! Sounds familiar... I imagine it's like deja vu to my parents, when they watch the kids play together. Anyway, after the park, Charley and I went and ran some errands, while my sister and her family went to lunch with some friends of theirs. Charley and I ended up looking through several stores for a cardigan to go with her "fancy dress," but we didn't have any luck. In the process, however, we found another adorable dress, and decided that would be her "wedding dress." She loved getting dolled up like a princess, before we went back to my dad's for the reception. I was told to be at my dad's house promptly at 4:00. Apparently, we were going to toast the marriage at that time. I was there, the toast was great....but the champagne? Unfortunately, it had gone bad. It was awful. As everybody took their sips of champagne, we all made the exact same expression. And it wasn't good. I felt bad, because I know there was meaning behind the toast, but it was also one of those laughable moments, that came along at the worst possible time. If nothing else, it lightened the mood and the anticipation of 40 guests that would arrive an hour later.

When guests began to show up, the fun really got started. I talked to some lifelong family friends, and had a chance to catch up. I had an amusing conversation with several of my dad's male friends about how I've learned, particularly as a mom, that I will do absolutely anything to avoid a second trip to the car, and I can carry more objects at once than I ever thought possible. I described a recent trip to the airport, when I was carrying Charley (who was sleeping), a carseat, two back packs, a purse.... It was miserable. But oddly enough, it's a frequent occurrence. One man, Brian, suggested I make a big hat the next time I go through the airport, and store the carseat and backpacks in there. "It's a million dollar idea!" he exclaimed. I realize now, that the concept was probably more amusing due to the two glasses of wine I had consumed, and the dozen that he had... But we were laughing it up! It was fun. I also had a chance to talk with one of my dad's neighbors, who was also a single mom (her daughter is now my age). She was so sweet, and just said, "Your little girl is SO smart. You're doing an amazing job. Nobody understands what it's like to do it on their own, especially with little ones, unless they've been there. But I've been there. And you're an incredible mom." I know it wasn't intentional, but she nearly made me cry. My family is very supportive and affirming of my parenting abilities, but there are times when I question if I'm doing things right with Charley. It was nice to have a complete outsider interject with a totally unbiased opinion.

Seems like a safe place to hang...

On a similar note, I had several family friends volunteer to babysit Charley. One in particular, Joe, a long-time friend who has two grown daughters of his own, has been fascinated by Charley since he met her. He jokes that she'll be graduating high school by the age of 10, and defending her doctoral dissertation by the time she's 16. He said, "If you ever go out of town, I'll take her. For up to a week! I don't know if I could go beyond that, but I'll take her for a week!" When I told Fran, his longtime partner what he had volunteered for, she was a little bit surprised at what he'd signed them up for. She laughed, and agreed to the task. Her daughter, Emily, who is really more like a cousin than a family friend, also volunteered to  babysit. For two hours. "I really just want to watch Frozen," she admitted. I told all of them not to sign up for something they're not prepared to follow through with, because I'll take them up on their offers! It was just nice to know that my support system extends beyond my family and closest friends.

On Sunday, I went to work at 9. It's a good thing I didn't stay at my dad's for all hours of the night, because I would've been like a zombie on Sunday morning. But it was actually a pretty easy coaching day, because my mom took Charley to the zoo with my older sister and her family. That meant I could focus 100% on my private lessons! After my regular lessons, I hung out at the gym for a little bit for a staff meeting. I'm in the gym so infrequently now, that I generally only see the same people every week, and I miss out on seeing many of my co-workers. It was nice to catch up and touch base about what's going on in the gym. After that, it was more family time, and finally an evening at home. It's now Tuesday, and I'm still worn out from the weekend. But it was wonderful!

***Totally Random: I did standing back tucks on Sunday. A lot of them. For some reason, I seem to kill myself with back tucks every once in awhile, to the point that it hurts to laugh or sneeze. You'd think I would've learned after the first time that it's not a good idea to kill myself doing back tucks, when I haven't worked out in awhile. But, no. I continue to make the same mistake. At the very least, I've seen it as an inspiration to get my butt back in the gym. I've got my workouts planned for the next 30 days. If you see me, and I'm eating something sugary or carb-filled, ask me how my workouts are going! Ha! Have a great week!

Save the Drama for Your Mama!

Phew...the week's over. This week was like a test of my love for my students and dedication to my job. I don't know if it was the change in weather, or the unintentional 4 day weekend we were all surprised with last week, but this week it was like all my students got together and decided they were going to be defiant and crabby at the same time. It didn't help that I haven't been sleeping terribly well, because my allergies have been off the charts, due to the bipolar MN weather. So, maybe it was a combination of factors that made this week more difficult than normal. Not cool. However, this afternoon, a few of the teachers and paras got together for a miniature b*#ch fest after school, and after that, I think we all felt better! I'm so glad I have such great co-workers. Sometimes, when things are rough in the classroom, the only people who understand, are those you work with. So, all of you who I work with...thank you for making me laugh, when my only options are to laugh or cry!

So, what made this week so challenging? Hmmm, where should I start. Well, on Monday, the kids were just crazy, because they were all on sugar-highs from Easter. I was totally prepared for that, and it wasn't too terrible. The rest of the week, I figured things would settle down. I was wrong. From the student who whined through an entire class (and subsequently asked if he could stay in my room all day), to the student who climbed across the table to show a friend a picture (while I was teaching), it just seemed like one of those weeks when respect was totally lacking. I also had girls coming to school with caked-on make-up and booty shorts, who were upset when told they had to change. There were arguments between friends, arguments between kids who AREN'T friends... Basically, there was a lot of drama.  I'm not one for drama. I HATE drama. So, I've picked up the phrase, "Save the drama for your mama," and I think I used it more this week than I ever have before.

Now, with that said, there were some high points this week. Humorous moments, to say the least. Like this morning, when a sub showed up, to fill in for my co-teacher. Her first impression was pretty good. She was friendly, and bubbly. My students tend to do well with teachers like that. But the more she talked, I found myself thinking, "Is she high?" Honestly, I just think she wasn't all there. When I was teaching a reading lesson, I asked the students about the climax of the story. She proceeded to answer the question, without giving the students an opportunity....And she was WRONG! That made for an awkward explanation of what the climax of the story is... Ha! Anyway, the kids were totally amused by her for about 10 minutes, and then you could see them mentally check out. One student actually got irritated with her, and went to work in another room. It's like that kid read my mind! Another high point came when a difficult, defiant student had a genuine discussion with me about how his actions impact other people's reactions to him. He started off angry at me, but after discussion, demonstrated that he understood my point of view, and actually apologized for his behavior. He said, "This is the best talk I've had in a long time." It was a pretty good way to end to a very long week!

Now, I'm heading into a long, but wonderful weekend. My dads got married back in November, and this weekend is the reception. That means family is in town, and there will be a lot of activities the next couple of days. It'll be great, but busy, so I'm preparing myself for all of the festivities! I'll post Sunday, when it's all over! Have a great weekend!

The House!

So, I think Charley and I have found the right house. It's so exciting! It's in a great neighborhood, with a community pool and a fitness center. Of course, that means it's expensive. But it's closer to work, and it's in the type of community I'd like to raise Charley in. Family oriented, with kids all around the neighborhood... It's perfect. Except for the move-in date... The current tenant is looking to have someone in there by May 15, because she's already found a new place to live, and doesn't want to pay rent on top of a mortgage. I get that. However, that's definitely sooner than I'd planned on moving. I'm hoping I can convince the landlord to give me a June 1 move-in date. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

This last week/weekend was busy as usual. I had a snow day on Thursday. Yes, a snow day. Yes, it's crazy. Especially because it was in the 70s today... but anyway, on Thursday, I decided to go up to the school and get some work done while I took Charley to preschool. I made my way up to work, and I had a ton of paperwork to do. And I got very little accomplished. Instead, I was putting things together in my classroom, and basically trying to be crafty. I had this great idea to do a texture wall on one of my bulletin boards. Easier said than done. I couldn't get the pieces placed to my liking, so I decided to mount them on cardboard, so their edges would be even. My OCD at its finest... But of course I couldn't mount the cardboard to the bulletin board in my classroom, so it was totally a fail. I might try using a staple gun to put the pieces up, or ask someone to help me. The latter will probably produce the best results! Ha!

On Friday, I didn't have school, due to it being Good Friday, so I'd scheduled a few private lessons first thing in the morning, then I set up a time for Charley and me to check out this great little town home. When I pulled up to the house, I immediately liked the neighborhood. I walked in, and I felt like I WAS at home. It's the perfect size, dogs are accepted (yay, Oscar!), and it's got a lot of really good selling points. I could see myself living there, and as my last realtor could tell you, it generally takes me a LOT of looking, before I feel at home. I think part of why I'm so excited about this move is that it's the beginning of a new chapter for me. The last chapter in my life was kind of forced upon me, with a cross-country move, a divorce, and single-parenthood. It was a time of learning, healing, new experiences, and discovering who I really am and what I want out of life. This chapter I get to write however I want to write it. I get to have a fresh start in an area where I could see myself settling for awhile, and in a community where I'd be happy to send Charley to school. I might finally have a chance to slow down, and enjoy life a little more. Maybe not work quite so hard, spend more quality time with Charley, and have a chance to spend time more time with the people I care about. I'm really looking forward to it, and I hope it works out. If it doesn't though, at least I know there are places like this out there. Positive thinking, though, positive thinking...

In terms of this weekend, it went too quickly. It involved a lot of house cleaning, and Easter festivities. I was supposed to spend time with some girlfriends on Saturday night, but Charley had a little bit of impetigo, so I had to stay home with her. She's much better today, thank goodness, so we got to meet up with some family for brunch and had a play date this evening. Now it's back to business tomorrow. I'm hoping to talk to the landlord of this new place, and get the ball rolling. Say a little prayer for me!

Tongue-Tied

Alright, this one has to do with dating, so Dad, go ahead and stop reading now. I mentioned that over the weekend, a friend of mine showed me around Forest Lake. Well, this particular friend is one that I've known for awhile...and one I'd like to get to know better. By the way, he and I are not FB friends, so if I ever BECOME FB friends with him, this post will swiftly disappear. Ha! Anyway, I've known him for about a year and a half now, and since we met, we've been in and out of each other's lives. Am I interested in him? Sure. He's got a good job, he's a full-time single dad, he seems to have his priorities straight, and he's quick-witted (a must, in my book). Anyway, since I met him, it's been clear that he's someone I'd like to know better. But when I met him...I wasn't ready. I wanted to be ready for something serious, but I wasn't, and I'm not sure he was either. Anyway, there's always been a bit of distance between us, for one reason or another.

Now I'd like to blame him for the distance, but I can't... We've generally kept our conversations to the mundane and superficial topics that are "safe". I think that's kind of a safety-net, because post-divorce, I've found it difficult to legitimately let my guard down, and I never let any guy get too close.  However, I think some of the distance is due to tendencies that are just guy tendencies in general (i.e. leaving a conversation without closing it), and I've learned that through my several short stints dating online. I don't know, guys, is it a man thing? Maybe. I'll just go with that. I mean, clearly  there are distinct differences between men and women, when it comes to communication, and this is one of them. Conversing with a man on a daily basis when you're not a couple is unusual...And finding a man who actually plans things in advance is nearly impossible! So I suppose I can't hold those types of things against him. At the same time, I'm a communicator, and I have a tendency to ramble on (hence, every blog I've ever written...)...I just need to redirect my rambling. Ha!

In the past, I found myself not asking questions I wanted to ask, and not saying things I wanted to say, because I didn't know how he would react. I did the same with other men I've dated.  And he and I aren't even dating! However, in recent months, I've kind of taken a "screw it," attitude when it comes to men in general. I feel like if I don't say what I want to say, or if I hold back, I'm not really being me. That's easier said than done, but I can't always worry about what other people think of me. Is it possible that I'm actually maturing in all of this? Maybe... Anyway, in the weeks before we got together, we texted sporadically, and we had one particularly deep conversation. As much as I've questioned where I stand with him, he made it pretty clear that he trusts me. And that's a big deal to me, considering that I've probably seen him 10 times over the course of a year and a half. So when I saw him, I didn't know what kind of conversation we would engage in...fun and flirty, or a little deeper. This is where the title of my post comes in...

It's been several months since I've seen him, but there's a strange sort of comfort level when I'm with him. I mean, he was showing me houses... kind of an odd activity for not having seen each other in so long. Silences that might generally be awkward, weren't awkward at all. They just seemed comfortable. However, I found myself a little bit tongue-tied, as we drove around. Yes, that's right...I was tongue-tied. ME! Hard to believe, but it's true. I don't know if it was his commanding type of presence, or a little bit of underlying nervousness, but there were times when I was sitting there thinking, "Did I just say that?" Ha! For example, he made a couple comments about work, and his family that I had a slew of follow-up questions for...Things that even now, I'd like to know more about. But for some reason, in the moment, I couldn't come up with anything to say. These are the social skills I teach my students! But I found myself at a loss for words. When I DID talk, the conversation was very smooth and easy, except for a few ditzy comments, and a demonstration of my complete inability to navigate. I just thought it was funny...I'm a very articulate person. I can hold my own in a battle of wits, and I can carry a conversation with people of almost any age. I'll tell people I don't know my life story (to an extent), and I share my thoughts and opinions with anyone on the internet who has any interest! On Saturday, though... He legitimately left me tongue-tied! Quite an accomplishment... **Side note: Our goodbye was totally awkward...Honestly, that's the part of seeing him that's always been a little awkward. Like we don't know what we're supposed to do. Ha! I'm sure I seemed like a 14 year old on a first date or something. Nerves kicked in. Hilarious. And awkward. Story of my life...

In the days since I saw him, I realized something huge. In the past, when I saw this man, I'd look at my phone constantly for the next few days, wondering if he'd texted, and if he hadn't, questioning why not. I over-thought every text I sent, and let my emotions get the best of me. This time around, the day after I saw him, I thanked him for taking me house hunting, and we've exchanged a few texts back and forth. But I've found myself less concerned about whether or not I hear from him. Is it because I've lost interest? Not at all. I'm definitely still interested. I think I just have a better understanding of him now. He needs space. I don't think he's ready to get into anything at this point, and quite honestly I'm not either. He's also most likely skeptical of me and my intentions, based on his past experience with me. I get that. I'm skeptical of him, too. I'm really not the person I was when I met him, though. The last 6 months to a year has probably been the biggest personal growth period of my life... in terms of relationships, work, and life in general. But how do I go about telling him I'm not in any rush to get into anything, when I get so stinking tongue-tied around him? I've just become such a slow mover when it comes to matters of the heart...But I think that's better. Especially because I have my little Charley-girl. I've also realized that I can't be concerned about the phrasing in every text I send. I won't. That's not me. Yes, I've learned to think before I speak (or text), but I've also learned that thinking too hard or too much makes things more complicated. With me, what you see is what you get, and I'd rather say too much, than hold myself back. But at the same time, I've know that there's nothing wrong with a guy wanting some space... Or taking my time and getting to REALLY know someone...the good, the bad, and the ugly, before trying to rush into things. Again...emotional maturity? Growth? Ability to trust (at least a little bit)? It might have taken 30 years, but I think I've finally started to come around.

Is it the Weekend, Yet? Oh Crap, it's Over...

I remember when I was in my early twenties, and I used the weekends to catch up on chores, run errands, relax on the couch a little bit, and go out with my friends at night. My life has changed. A lot. Weekends are no longer a time to relax and get caught up. Instead, they are just like bonus days to get more things done.

Last week was a particularly long week at school. The kids were more than just a little off, and I found myself to be a little bit overwhelmed with the emotional students I was working with. I swear, people talk about girls being moody, but I work with an awful lot of moody boys, too. I'm blaming the change in weather. I remember when I was in Vegas, and every year around April or May, the kids all started to check out. It's normal, and I'm sure I was the same way when I was a kid. But I'm hoping the rest of the year isn't quite as wild as the last week!

Friday evening, Charley and I met a friend of mine and her kids at the mall. The kids ran around in the new play area, while my friend and I caught up and chatted about our weeks. Later on, we decided to walk around the mall, looking for some summer shoes. Naturally, we came across the Easter Bunny, and decided we had to have the kids' picture taken. It went as you would probably expect. Charley, oddly enough, was not afraid of the Easter Bunny. However, she was in an, 'I don't have to listen to my  mom,' mood, so she wasn't interested in doing anything I asked her to do. As it turned out, my friend and I were in the photo. Charley was sitting with my friend, and her daughter was sitting with me. Her son ended up being the sacrificial lamb who had to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap...He was not pleased. It's a great photo, though, and one I'm sure I'll hang onto for years to come!

Saturday morning, I took Charley to my mom's house. She was going to spend the entire day and night with my mom, which I was so grateful for. It's unusual for me to get an evening to myself, let alone a whole day, AND evening! But this is really where it becomes evident how much my life has changed since having Charley. I dropped her off around 10, and headed straight to Forest Lake, where I met up with a friend who showed me around the city a little bit. I mean, I work in Forest Lake, but I'm looking at moving that direction, and don't know the area at all, outside of the school. So, it was nice to have someone who knows the area show me around and even give me a little bit of insight into the neighborhoods and surrounding communities. It was so helpful! I know I've said it before, but I know I'm lucky to have people in my life who will jump in and help me out when I'm a little lost! And honestly... when it comes to house hunting... I'm a little lost, when I'm on my own. I'm reminded of when I moved into my current place, and it took weeks to find it! Anyway, we found some nice areas, and I spent much of my morning booking viewings for next weekend. After my little tour of the Forest Lake area, I went straight to the gym, in St. Louis Park, because some of the gymnasts I used to coach were performing. I showed up just before they got started, and I was so happy to see them. It's been several months since I've seen a few of them, and the minute they saw me, they ran at me with open arms, and just about knocked me over with excited hugs. It was so much fun! It made me feel good that even though I haven't been coaching them, they're still excited to see me... Even though I'm their 'mean' coach. Ha!  That's part of why I love coaching! The girls know that I'm tough (well, KIND of tough), because I love them.

After that, I went home and let my dog out, and then had to turn around and go BACK to Forest Lake for the Ranger Review, a variety show put on by district staff and students. My co-workers and I were doing a parody of What Does the Fox Say?, and it was pretty amusing. It took forever, but it was fun! From there, I went to White Bear Lake to meet a friend for a quick drink (it was already 9:30 by the time I finished up at the school), and then finally headed home around 11:30. So, basically, it was a LONG day, but it was definitely productive.

Today, I went to get Charley around 10, and was so excited to see her. I needed the break, but I was still happy to pick her up! From there, I headed to Club Kid in Minnetonka, where I was going to take her for an hour or so, while I met some of my best friends for brunch to celebrate an engagement. Naturally, Club Kid was closed. So, I was texting my friend to let her know of my dilemma, and fortunately, another friend's boyfriend offered to babysit! The only problem was that he was in NE Minneapolis. So, I drove across town, dropped her off, and then drove back to Edina for brunch. It was a lot of driving, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat... There's nothing like spending time with a bunch of girlfriends you've known your entire life! Lots of laughter, and a couple of mimosas later, we parted ways, and I went about my regular Sunday business. So, with all of that said, this weekend wasn't relaxing at all. Until right now. However, it was productive, exciting, wonderful, and exhausting... and I wouldn't have changed it for anything! Have a great week!