Tongue-Tied

Alright, this one has to do with dating, so Dad, go ahead and stop reading now. I mentioned that over the weekend, a friend of mine showed me around Forest Lake. Well, this particular friend is one that I've known for awhile...and one I'd like to get to know better. By the way, he and I are not FB friends, so if I ever BECOME FB friends with him, this post will swiftly disappear. Ha! Anyway, I've known him for about a year and a half now, and since we met, we've been in and out of each other's lives. Am I interested in him? Sure. He's got a good job, he's a full-time single dad, he seems to have his priorities straight, and he's quick-witted (a must, in my book). Anyway, since I met him, it's been clear that he's someone I'd like to know better. But when I met him...I wasn't ready. I wanted to be ready for something serious, but I wasn't, and I'm not sure he was either. Anyway, there's always been a bit of distance between us, for one reason or another.

Now I'd like to blame him for the distance, but I can't... We've generally kept our conversations to the mundane and superficial topics that are "safe". I think that's kind of a safety-net, because post-divorce, I've found it difficult to legitimately let my guard down, and I never let any guy get too close.  However, I think some of the distance is due to tendencies that are just guy tendencies in general (i.e. leaving a conversation without closing it), and I've learned that through my several short stints dating online. I don't know, guys, is it a man thing? Maybe. I'll just go with that. I mean, clearly  there are distinct differences between men and women, when it comes to communication, and this is one of them. Conversing with a man on a daily basis when you're not a couple is unusual...And finding a man who actually plans things in advance is nearly impossible! So I suppose I can't hold those types of things against him. At the same time, I'm a communicator, and I have a tendency to ramble on (hence, every blog I've ever written...)...I just need to redirect my rambling. Ha!

In the past, I found myself not asking questions I wanted to ask, and not saying things I wanted to say, because I didn't know how he would react. I did the same with other men I've dated.  And he and I aren't even dating! However, in recent months, I've kind of taken a "screw it," attitude when it comes to men in general. I feel like if I don't say what I want to say, or if I hold back, I'm not really being me. That's easier said than done, but I can't always worry about what other people think of me. Is it possible that I'm actually maturing in all of this? Maybe... Anyway, in the weeks before we got together, we texted sporadically, and we had one particularly deep conversation. As much as I've questioned where I stand with him, he made it pretty clear that he trusts me. And that's a big deal to me, considering that I've probably seen him 10 times over the course of a year and a half. So when I saw him, I didn't know what kind of conversation we would engage in...fun and flirty, or a little deeper. This is where the title of my post comes in...

It's been several months since I've seen him, but there's a strange sort of comfort level when I'm with him. I mean, he was showing me houses... kind of an odd activity for not having seen each other in so long. Silences that might generally be awkward, weren't awkward at all. They just seemed comfortable. However, I found myself a little bit tongue-tied, as we drove around. Yes, that's right...I was tongue-tied. ME! Hard to believe, but it's true. I don't know if it was his commanding type of presence, or a little bit of underlying nervousness, but there were times when I was sitting there thinking, "Did I just say that?" Ha! For example, he made a couple comments about work, and his family that I had a slew of follow-up questions for...Things that even now, I'd like to know more about. But for some reason, in the moment, I couldn't come up with anything to say. These are the social skills I teach my students! But I found myself at a loss for words. When I DID talk, the conversation was very smooth and easy, except for a few ditzy comments, and a demonstration of my complete inability to navigate. I just thought it was funny...I'm a very articulate person. I can hold my own in a battle of wits, and I can carry a conversation with people of almost any age. I'll tell people I don't know my life story (to an extent), and I share my thoughts and opinions with anyone on the internet who has any interest! On Saturday, though... He legitimately left me tongue-tied! Quite an accomplishment... **Side note: Our goodbye was totally awkward...Honestly, that's the part of seeing him that's always been a little awkward. Like we don't know what we're supposed to do. Ha! I'm sure I seemed like a 14 year old on a first date or something. Nerves kicked in. Hilarious. And awkward. Story of my life...

In the days since I saw him, I realized something huge. In the past, when I saw this man, I'd look at my phone constantly for the next few days, wondering if he'd texted, and if he hadn't, questioning why not. I over-thought every text I sent, and let my emotions get the best of me. This time around, the day after I saw him, I thanked him for taking me house hunting, and we've exchanged a few texts back and forth. But I've found myself less concerned about whether or not I hear from him. Is it because I've lost interest? Not at all. I'm definitely still interested. I think I just have a better understanding of him now. He needs space. I don't think he's ready to get into anything at this point, and quite honestly I'm not either. He's also most likely skeptical of me and my intentions, based on his past experience with me. I get that. I'm skeptical of him, too. I'm really not the person I was when I met him, though. The last 6 months to a year has probably been the biggest personal growth period of my life... in terms of relationships, work, and life in general. But how do I go about telling him I'm not in any rush to get into anything, when I get so stinking tongue-tied around him? I've just become such a slow mover when it comes to matters of the heart...But I think that's better. Especially because I have my little Charley-girl. I've also realized that I can't be concerned about the phrasing in every text I send. I won't. That's not me. Yes, I've learned to think before I speak (or text), but I've also learned that thinking too hard or too much makes things more complicated. With me, what you see is what you get, and I'd rather say too much, than hold myself back. But at the same time, I've know that there's nothing wrong with a guy wanting some space... Or taking my time and getting to REALLY know someone...the good, the bad, and the ugly, before trying to rush into things. Again...emotional maturity? Growth? Ability to trust (at least a little bit)? It might have taken 30 years, but I think I've finally started to come around.

Is it the Weekend, Yet? Oh Crap, it's Over...

I remember when I was in my early twenties, and I used the weekends to catch up on chores, run errands, relax on the couch a little bit, and go out with my friends at night. My life has changed. A lot. Weekends are no longer a time to relax and get caught up. Instead, they are just like bonus days to get more things done.

Last week was a particularly long week at school. The kids were more than just a little off, and I found myself to be a little bit overwhelmed with the emotional students I was working with. I swear, people talk about girls being moody, but I work with an awful lot of moody boys, too. I'm blaming the change in weather. I remember when I was in Vegas, and every year around April or May, the kids all started to check out. It's normal, and I'm sure I was the same way when I was a kid. But I'm hoping the rest of the year isn't quite as wild as the last week!

Friday evening, Charley and I met a friend of mine and her kids at the mall. The kids ran around in the new play area, while my friend and I caught up and chatted about our weeks. Later on, we decided to walk around the mall, looking for some summer shoes. Naturally, we came across the Easter Bunny, and decided we had to have the kids' picture taken. It went as you would probably expect. Charley, oddly enough, was not afraid of the Easter Bunny. However, she was in an, 'I don't have to listen to my  mom,' mood, so she wasn't interested in doing anything I asked her to do. As it turned out, my friend and I were in the photo. Charley was sitting with my friend, and her daughter was sitting with me. Her son ended up being the sacrificial lamb who had to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap...He was not pleased. It's a great photo, though, and one I'm sure I'll hang onto for years to come!

Saturday morning, I took Charley to my mom's house. She was going to spend the entire day and night with my mom, which I was so grateful for. It's unusual for me to get an evening to myself, let alone a whole day, AND evening! But this is really where it becomes evident how much my life has changed since having Charley. I dropped her off around 10, and headed straight to Forest Lake, where I met up with a friend who showed me around the city a little bit. I mean, I work in Forest Lake, but I'm looking at moving that direction, and don't know the area at all, outside of the school. So, it was nice to have someone who knows the area show me around and even give me a little bit of insight into the neighborhoods and surrounding communities. It was so helpful! I know I've said it before, but I know I'm lucky to have people in my life who will jump in and help me out when I'm a little lost! And honestly... when it comes to house hunting... I'm a little lost, when I'm on my own. I'm reminded of when I moved into my current place, and it took weeks to find it! Anyway, we found some nice areas, and I spent much of my morning booking viewings for next weekend. After my little tour of the Forest Lake area, I went straight to the gym, in St. Louis Park, because some of the gymnasts I used to coach were performing. I showed up just before they got started, and I was so happy to see them. It's been several months since I've seen a few of them, and the minute they saw me, they ran at me with open arms, and just about knocked me over with excited hugs. It was so much fun! It made me feel good that even though I haven't been coaching them, they're still excited to see me... Even though I'm their 'mean' coach. Ha!  That's part of why I love coaching! The girls know that I'm tough (well, KIND of tough), because I love them.

After that, I went home and let my dog out, and then had to turn around and go BACK to Forest Lake for the Ranger Review, a variety show put on by district staff and students. My co-workers and I were doing a parody of What Does the Fox Say?, and it was pretty amusing. It took forever, but it was fun! From there, I went to White Bear Lake to meet a friend for a quick drink (it was already 9:30 by the time I finished up at the school), and then finally headed home around 11:30. So, basically, it was a LONG day, but it was definitely productive.

Today, I went to get Charley around 10, and was so excited to see her. I needed the break, but I was still happy to pick her up! From there, I headed to Club Kid in Minnetonka, where I was going to take her for an hour or so, while I met some of my best friends for brunch to celebrate an engagement. Naturally, Club Kid was closed. So, I was texting my friend to let her know of my dilemma, and fortunately, another friend's boyfriend offered to babysit! The only problem was that he was in NE Minneapolis. So, I drove across town, dropped her off, and then drove back to Edina for brunch. It was a lot of driving, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat... There's nothing like spending time with a bunch of girlfriends you've known your entire life! Lots of laughter, and a couple of mimosas later, we parted ways, and I went about my regular Sunday business. So, with all of that said, this weekend wasn't relaxing at all. Until right now. However, it was productive, exciting, wonderful, and exhausting... and I wouldn't have changed it for anything! Have a great week!

Operation Find Charley a Great School: SUCCESS!

It's been quite a week! Where to start, where to start...Well, after the dramatic childcare experience of a couple weeks ago, I'm pleased to share that Charley has been happy as can be at her new school. She's busy running around all day, and every day, when I pick her up she tells me how much she loves her school and her teachers. It's such a relief! I mean, there's really nothing better for a parent than knowing your child is happy. And BOY is she happy. Which makes me happy. Doesn't get much better than that!

Last week, I found out my contract has been renewed for another school  year. As a child, I remember clearly, that teachers at my elementary school were there when I started in 1st grade, and still there when I moved onto middle school in 6th grade. Everyone seemed to stay in pretty much the same position. What I didn't realize as a child is that for teachers, every year can be a new adventure, ESPECIALLY before they reach tenure status. With that said, last week was a very stressful week at work. All of us who aren't tenured weren't just curious about whether or not we would be teaching in the same area...but we were wondering about whether or not we would have jobs! Thankfully, I'll be working for the district again next year, and I'm excited to actually have the opportunity to work with a class for an entire school year, instead of taking a position in the middle of the year. I feel very fortunate.

Although it was kind of a stressful week, it was fun, too. I'm taking part in a little variety show, with some of my fellow teachers, and last week we held a dress rehearsal. Charley tagged along as we went to dinner and practiced our performance. It was really fun. I had a chance to get to know a whole group of people at the school who I hadn't really known that well, and it was nice! I genuinely enjoyed the conversation, and practicing our little skit. We were supposed to perform last Friday night, but was rescheduled due to the snow day. That's right, I said SNOW DAY. There was so much snow on Friday, many people couldn't get out of their homes until 10 or 11 in the morning. I was lucky, and got plowed out early. So, even though it was a snow day, I decided to get some work done. It's so nice to have some time to do paperwork, without kids in the classroom. It was relaxing, and productive. It was great!

Over the weekend, I took Charley to ClubKid and got together with a couple of girlfriends for a couple of hours. It's so rare for me to have Charley-free time, but it was nice to have some uninterrupted adult conversation. It was a really great weekend for me, overall. Even though I worked quite a bit, I got a little bit of time to myself, had two playdates with one of Charley's girlfriends, and had an unexpectedly deep conversation with an old friend. I love when conversations delve deeper than the superficial nonsense. It shows a real level of trust and friendship, and I appreciate that. I love that I have friends who I can be that way with.

This week at the school has been interesting so far. Yesterday, one of my students mentioned that he couldn't get the songs from Frozen out of his head. My response? "Just let it go. Let it go." He laughed hysterically, and said, "You're giving me a hard time, Ms. P!" I mentioned this conversation to one of the paras who works with the student, because I really enjoy celebrating the fun, positive moments I have with my students in the classroom. I was working with the same student later in the day, and when the para walked in, the student turned to her and said, "Ms. P is teasing me!" His comment was followed by a snicker. The whole room erupted in laughter, though, when the para turned to him and said, "Sometimes, you have to just LET IT GO!" I laughed so hard, I cried, because he had NO IDEA that she knew about our prior conversation. I share a lot of great moments with my students, but when everyone is happy and laughing together... I can't beat that! The week has also had it's difficult moments, but somehow, my kiddos have seemed to turn their lows and their difficulties around for the most part, and for me, that's success!

Sidenote: This week I started walking around the school, for exercise, with several of my co-workers. Two of us were walking on Monday, and within 5 minutes, there were four of us. It was great! We had a chance to talk about our days, while getting a few minutes of exercise in. On Tuesday, there were 8 or 9 of us walking laps around the building. All of the kids who stayed after for extended day classes, were asking if all of the teachers walk around the school every night! It was probably amusing to watch. One teacher wanted to stop walking early, but another teacher went ahead of her and locked her classroom door, so she couldn't leave early. I loved it! It's just really nice to have that time to get to know my co-workers a little bit better. Many of them live in the Forest Lake area, and I'm enjoying building those connections, considering I'm planning to move that direction in the next couple of months. Speaking of which, I'm looking for a townhome or rental home in the Forest Lake area...not necessarily right in the city (I'm not looking to be neighbors with my students), but in the vicinity. My next step? Finding a place! That's the goal for this weekend. Alright, back to my night. Have a good week!

How to Get Kicked Out of Daycare.... Tips from Charley!

I know many of my posts begin with something along the lines of ,"it was a crazy week." I'm beginning to realize that when you have children, crazy appears to just be part of the deal. So, in essence, crazy has become normal, and it's what I should expect on a regular basis. Well, this last week was crazier than normal. Hmmm, where to start….

The week after I got back from Spring Break in Florida, I started Charley in a home daycare. She had been going to a Montessori school for about 9 months prior to the trip, and doing very well there. However, I live in NE Minneapolis, her school was located by the U of M, and I work in Forest Lake. The additional commute time and extra time away from Charley were wearing on me, so I thought it would be best to transfer her to a daycare in Forest Lake. I did quite a bit of looking around, and settled on a woman I'll call "Alex." When Charley and I went for our initial interview, Alex was very nice and bubbly. I heard a tone in her voice I wasn't a fan of, when she was talking to her own kids, but as a parent, I know there are moments when you've said something 80 times, and your kid just won't listen, so I let it slide. Anyway, we discussed the program, meal times, nap times, potty training, etc. From my perspective, we were totally on the same page, and I signed Charley up. 

The first week of daycare, Charley seemed to do fine. She was coming home and being crabby, throwing tantrums, etc. Not really the Charley I know, but she's 3, and 3 year olds are incredibly difficult. WAY more difficult than 2 year olds. So, I attributed the behavior to a transition in her schedule and the fact that she'd turned 3.  On Monday, she cried when I dropped her off at daycare. Again, I figured this was due to the transition, because Charley took awhile to warm up at her previous daycare. Anyway, when I picked her up on Monday and asked how her day was, her eyes welled up with tears, and Alex barked, "You don't even want to know!" Now, Charley can be a handful with me, but I've never had her act up with anybody else, so that response surprised me. It turns out that Charley had made a bit of a mess in the bathroom, and Alex was NOT happy. I heard the story, and thought about it as I drove home. Alex said that she'd sent Charley to the bathroom, and when she went in to check on her, there was crap all over the wall. Charley has NEVER done something like that at home, so I was trying to figure it all out. As I thought about it, it made sense. Charley had been sent to the bathroom with a poopy pull-up…And basically expected to clean it up on her own. I'm not one to make excuses for my kid. I deal with parents like that all day long…But it seems to me, that if a 3 year old changes her own pull-up, she is going to get her hands messy, and knowing Charley, she probably was trying to wipe them off... on the wall. Nice. So that was Monday. 

On Tuesday, apparently Charley did the same thing, and I was told when I picked her up, that she would no longer be able to come to daycare if she did it again. Now, the part that really bothered me was that the lady made it seem like she was deliberately being manipulative. Charley is 3. I didn't appreciate the insinuation. At the same time, I recognized that if Charley WAS acting out so severely…on purpose…that something must've been very wrong at daycare. I had already started looking around for something new, and it's a good thing, because on Wednesday, I received a page-long e-mail telling me that Charley had been "terminated" from daycare.  MY kid, was kicked out. Now, the reason this is particularly humorous, is that I'm a complete rule follower. When I was a kid, I'd finish my work, and look for something new to work on… and I NEVER wanted to get in trouble. Charley doesn't seem to be that way. She's a smart kid, and I'm afraid she's going to be the kid who finishes her work before everybody else, and proceeds to get herself, and everyone around her, in trouble. Ugh. I'm going to have my hands full. Alex made sure to include, in small font, at the bottom of the e-mail, that it was against all of her better judgment, but she would keep Charley through the end of the week. Ummm…thanks, but no. I don't care that I paid in advance, I'm not sending my child somewhere where she's being taken against someone's better judgment. 

So I took Thursday off, to figure out what I was going to do about daycare, and we ended up running into some luck. One of my co-workers' mom runs a home daycare, and she said she'd take Charley until the end of the school year. SUCH a lifesaver. And for me, it was nice to start looking for something permanent, knowing I had that in place. I'm lucky to work with good people! Anyway, we did look at some centers, and found one that I like. I think Charley will end up being better off in a preschool setting, because I'm afraid her behavior problems stemmed not only from Alex's negative attitude, but also from the fact that she was bored. Charley just might need the stimulation of a school setting, as opposed to a home daycare. In any case, a potential child care crisis was averted, and Charley enjoyed having the day at home with me on Thursday. On Friday, my friend Julie, who is also Charley's best friend's mom, took her for the day and reported that she was perfectly well-behaved. No issues, no tantrums. Basically, the Charley I know. I was relieved, because I was beginning to fear that her behavior problems would continue outside of the home daycare setting. Again, crisis averted! I'm so lucky to have people in my life who can help bail me out, though, when it comes to my little monkey!

So, like I said, last week was crazier than normal. It's funny, because anyone I've told about Charley can't help but laugh. "Charley? What could SHE have done to get kicked out of daycare?" they asked. Over the weekend, it lead to a lot of discussion about daycares, preschools, and toddler behavior.  It turns out Charley is NOT the only child to be kicked out of daycare. Apparently one of my friends' son was kicked out of a church-based daycare center, because he was obsessed with swords (he had been watching a lot of Mulan at the time), and they couldn't seem to get the Mulan out of him at school. Ha! So, lucky for me, I'm not alone. Other kids have been kicked out of daycare, and survived. 

***Update: Charley started at her new school three days ago, and it's gone SO well! No wiping poop in the bathroom…and no accidents at all! Phew. Dodged a bullet on that one!

Shenanigans

Wow, where should I start! The last two weeks have been ridiculously busy. Two weeks ago, I had to work late Tuesday and Thursday for parent-teacher conferences, which totally threw me off. I'm a creature of habit, and I tend to like my routine...Anyway, conferences went well for the most part, and I knew that when conference week was over, I got to go on Spring Break, so I was really excited! I haven't gone on a true vacation in  years, so I was really looking forward to it. Charley and I were planning to go visit my sister Allie and her family in Florida, along with my little sister Kelsey, but there was a catch...we had to drive there. That's right, two adults and a toddler in an SUV driving 27 hours across the country. It was an adventure, that's for sure!

We started the drive at around 5:30 on Saturday morning. I was still exhausted from the previous week, but definitely ready to get on the road. I had a portable DVD player all set-up to keep Charley entertained, but in true Lindsey fashion, I managed to leave the charger at home. Typical. Anyway, we were lucky, because Charley slept through most of the morning, and was pretty content to listen to music and look for cows as we drove through Iowa and Missouri. We'd made it through most of Kentucky, before she started to melt down. I have to give her credit, it was a long day. After being in the car for about 13 hours, we decided to call it quits for the night, and found a hotel in a little podunk  town in Kentucky. We slept for a couple of hours, and were on the road again by around 5:30 on Sunday morning. We made several stops looking for a charger for the DVD player, to no avail, but I was determined to find something to get that DVD player running. I was feeling a little bit guilty that Charley would be spending yet ANOTHER day in the car. I'd say the charger search added about an hour to our drive time, but when we finally got a DVD going, it was TOTALLY worth it! It was a long, but beautiful drive on Sunday, through Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida. And when we got out of the car at my sister's house, and stepped into 80 degree weather, I think we all agreed that the drive had been worth it.


On Monday, we pretty much just relaxed at my sister's house. At least, we relaxed as much as anybody can relax in a house with two toddlers and a baby. It was a nice, easy day, and it was so funny watching Charley interact with her cousins, Preston and Lyla. She was very sweet with Lyla, who's almost 9 months old, giving her kisses and hugging her gently. Preston? He was another story. Preston is 2 and a half, and not afraid to give Charley a run for her money. Charley is used to being the center of attention, and this was the first time she had to share that attention for an extended period of time. On Monday, the kids were great. They played well together, shared lots of laughs...it was fun to watch. As the week went on, they had moments of wonderful playtime, and laughter. They also had many moments of driving each other crazy. I think my favorite quote of the week took place after Charley went to the bathroom. Both Charley and Preston are potty training, and they were pretty good about motivating each other. Except, of course, when they were annoyed with each other. Charley had gone to the bathroom, and was getting praised by the adults. Preston hadn't gone yet, but immediately after Charley stood up, he rushed over and flushed the toilet (which Charley had wanted to do). "Preston!" she shouted, "I am SO MAD AT YOU! Now, I have to poop AGAIN!" Ha! It was classic. They had several moments this week that reminded me of my relationship with my older sister when we were young. There were about two and a half years between us, but man, did we know how to push each other's buttons. Preston is 100% my sister, and Charley is 100% me. It seriously cracked me up!

Amidst the toddler ups-and-downs, we did a lot of really fun things in Florida. We went to the beach, the children's museum, and a really cool park, that was as much fun for me as it was for the kids! We also sat by the side of the pool and enjoyed the heat. We watched movies, chased kids around, made s'mores...it was great. Exhausting, but great. On Thursday, my sister cut my hair. I wasn't expecting much of a change, but when she was done, I was SUPER blonde, with a very trendy cut. It's funny, because it wasn't at all what I was expecting, but I LOVED it. I still love it! I think I was in need of a change.

We had a great time, but by the time we left on Sunday, I think EVERYBODY was ready to get back to their regular schedules. I could've stayed longer, but not with the toddlers, who'd had about enough of each other for awhile. The flight home went well, and Charley didn't throw a fit (thank goodness), until we started to descend and her ears popped. "MOMMY!!!" she wailed, "I CAN'T HEAR! I CAN'T HEAR!" I tried everything I knew, showing her to yawn, giving her gum...but she really didn't settle down until we were on the ground. Let's just say I was happy to get home, pick up my dog, who had a fresh new haircut after staying with my dad and Scott, and get her in bed. Then today, it was back to the grind.

Happy to be home!

Today was a typical first-day back after break. The kids all looked tired, and nobody seemed terribly inclined to work. I wasn't surprised. The kids were thrown off by my new haircut, that's for sure. My first student of the day said, "What's up with the haircut?" Later in the day, I got, "You look so different! I liked you better the old way." Ha! Kids can be so honest, and my students in particular do NOT like change. It didn't bother me, though, it was exactly the response I expected. Kids can be so entirely insulting, without intending to be that way. I actually lost it and laughed out loud at a comment a student made to a co-worker today. I mentioned something about Charley switching schools, and one of my students said, "You're moving?! I'm so excited!" Another student told me he hoped I moved to his apartment complex. My co-worker interjected to say that it might not be that comfortable for a teacher to live next door to a student, because teachers and students don't really need to know what happens at each other's homes. His response? "I'd like to know everything that's going on in Ms. P's life! I don't want to know everything that YOU are up to, though." I lost it, and had to leave the room. Kids are so brutally honest, and can be terribly rude, but that comment definitely provided a laugh.

Alright, time to get caught up on laundry. Have a good night!

Family Fun Night: Apparently How I Now Spend My Friday Nights...

Wow, what a week! Every time I think I couldn't get any busier, suddenly I'm surprised. The week started off with a bang. My dad had to go back into the hospital, after some issues with his recovery from back surgery. Unfortunately, it's now Friday, and he is still in the hospital. However, he's doing much better, and will hopefully be able to go home tomorrow. The one and only amusing part of his hospital visit is the fact that there have been some hilarious group text exchanges between my sisters, dad, step-dad, aunt, and me. I called my sister, laughing so hard I was crying the other night, because the conversation clearly demonstrated how much the medication was affecting him...he was so high on painkillers! Anyway, that's how my week started, and it never really slowed down after that.

On Tuesday, my work day was pretty good. The kids did what they were supposed to do, and I left to pick up Charley with a smile on my face. Then I checked my voicemail...There was a message from Charley's school informing me that she had head lice. LICE! Gross!!! I immediately pulled into the closest Target, and got a lice kit, so I could disinfect my house, AND my child. I've never had to deal with lice in my lifetime, so it was a new experience for me. Honestly, at school they only saw one bug (EEEWWWW), and that's all I saw too, as I combed through her hair for hours. After washing everything in my house, and disinfecting for several hours after Charley fell asleep, I finally felt like I could relax. Although, I've been compulsively looking through her hair, ever since!

Wednesday started off on kind of an unexpectedly great note. As a teacher, I have 3 observations every year, by two separate supervisors. My principal is responsible for two observations, and the director of special education for the school district is responsible for the third. I had the SpEd Director's observation scheduled for 1:00. I had all of my paperwork together, thorough lesson plans, and student data. I was very prepared. Imagine my surprise when she walked in the door at 9:30, to observe my group. I was caught totally off-guard! It's not that I wasn't prepared for that time... I knew exactly what I was going to teach. But I didn't have all of the paperwork printed and prepared for her. I just told her that I'd thought she was scheduled for one, but she was welcome to watch me teach at any time. She was very friendly, and opted to stay to observe the 9:30 group. The Wednesday group had children with several different disabilities, who were at very different reading levels, but they were all working on reading comprehension. I did a read aloud, directed an activity, had to correct my students a few times (I'm the mean teacher who takes away pencils when a student continues to draw pictures, after I've asked him to stop), and before I knew it, the lesson was over. The kids had done a great job! It wasn't perfect, but I was pleased with the work they'd completed. They left the room, and she took a couple of minutes to debrief with me. I honestly had no idea what to expect, because my methods aren't necessarily typical. I let the kids work on the floor, instead of at a table, and I was actually down on the floor with them. I wasn't sure if she would've considered that to be 'professional,' enough. "That was a great lesson!" she said. "They were so engaged, and I think they were really getting the concept!" She gave me some more positive feedback, and I was SO relieved. I am confident in my teaching, but when I'm caught off-guard, sometimes I crack under pressure. When it came down to it, it was actually better that she showed up early, because my 1:00 lesson that was so well-prepared, was a total flop. The kids were having an off-day, and it could've been a terrible observation! Someone must've been looking down on me! Ha!

Thursday was a pretty typical day, and today was as well. The kids were pretty focused, and overall, they were good days. Today was especially fun, because it was Family Fun Night at the school. While that meant I had to do a significant amount of driving, to pick Charley up and drive her all the way back out to the school in Forest Lake, it was a great experience! I know it's probably sad that the excitement of my Friday night was Family Fun Night, but I really did have a great time. Charley got to play games and meet some of my students, which was really an interesting experience for me. It was so funny to watch my students interact with her! One of my students, a 6th grader, who always complains about how much his younger siblings drive him crazy, treated her like a princess! He picked her up, tickled her tummy, gave her candy, and kept his eye out for her, the entire night. We saw him as we were getting ready to leave, and he picked her up and gave her a hug. It was so sweet! She's been talking about him all night. For me, it was so nice to see a different side of this student, who always seems to want to put on a show, acting like a little tough guy. Another student saw her, and I asked if he thought he was good with kids. "Are you serious?" he asked me, "I have 7 sisters, and I fed them all. I am GREAT with kids." It totally made me laugh. I decided NOT to remind this particular student that his sisters were all OLDER than him, and likely they had fed HIM, not the other way around. Ha! I think the most interesting encounter was with the student who spends the most time in my room. He has become very connected to me, and I know that. He likes to have my full attention, during the day, and he regularly asks about Charley. However, when he saw me, he just tapped my arm, without saying a word. He had a shy smile on his face, when I said, "This is Charley!" He grinned, as though he was embarrassed, and ran to be with his friends. It made me wonder...was he jealous? Was it weird for him to meet the most important person in my life IN PERSON? Did it make me seem more like an actual person, not just a teacher? I don't know. But it was definitely not how I'd expected him to react. In any case, it was fun to see my students outside of school, and how DIFFERENT they are when they're not in class. It might seem crazy, but it was really a fun night for me. 

Alright, time for me to get to bed. I'm doing the Polar Plunge tomorrow, and I'm preparing myself for hypothermic misery. I should probably be well-rested. Have a great weekend!

A Weekend for the Books!

It's been such a crazy couple of weeks, I haven't had any time to blog at all! Charley and I have been taking turns being sick, and giving each other colds back and forth. It's been awesome. Not really. It's really taken a toll on both of us though, as we've been going to bed early for the last two weeks! Until Friday, that is.

Several months ago, my aunt got me tickets to the Lady Antebellum concert in Kansas City. The concert was originally scheduled for December, but got pushed back to February 15. So, last Friday, Charley and I started our first Kansas City adventure in about 8 months. We got a later start than I'd originally planned, but my friend Kellie, who we were staying with, was at work all day anyway, so it wasn't a big deal that we didn't get out of town until noon. I'd had a busy morning, though, so by the time we left, I was already sick of driving, and ready for a nap. But nonetheless, I loaded up the car, and we started on the 7 hour drive. We listened to Lady Antebellum most of the way there, so I could get myself even more excited for the upcoming concert. When we pulled into Kellie's house, we got ourselves settled, and Kellie went out to dinner for Valentine's Day, while I stayed at her place with Charley and her son, Luke. It was really fun to spend time with the kids! They're really like cousins, and I'm always impressed with how well Luke and Charley play together, even though he's 4 years older than she is. More or less, he is REALLY good about tolerating her, and keeping her entertained. When Kellie got home, we all sat around on the couch and chatted for awhile. It was nice to catch up and relax.

I knew Saturday was going to be a busy day. Having lived in Kansas City, I always want to see my friends when I'm in town, but on this particular trip, there really wasn't any time. By the time we got up and moving on Saturday, I'd already come up with a list of errands to run before the concert, and I knew at some point Charley would need to see her grandpa. When we went to visit her grandpa, Charley was totally thrilled. She was congested and exhausted before we pulled into her grandparents' driveway, but the minute she got out of the car, she was raring to go! She played for a little bit over an hour, before we went back to Kellie's, so I could get ready for the night. Of course she only napped for about 15 minutes, so she was crabby as could be. I had my fingers crossed that she would nap in the car later, when we drove to my friend Spenser's house, where Charley was going to stay during the concert.

Luckily for me, Charley fell asleep in the car on the way to Spenser's place. Unfortunately, when she woke up, she sounded like she had a frog in her throat, and she was insistent that she didn't want me to go anywhere. If I had been at home, I would've canceled my plans for the evening, because clearly she was sick. But I'd been looking forward to this concert for 6 months! I knew she was in good hands with Spenser (who's in nursing school), and his fiancee Nadia. She cried when I left, but within minutes she was fine. Phew! That meant, it was time for Kellie and me to drive to the concert! We drove about 30 minutes into the city, before we came across the Sprint Center, as well as the Power and Light District in Kansas City. It's a really neat little area, with a huge reputation for nightlife activities. We met up with some of our good friends, Ali and Nick, who were also going to the concert, and had a drink before hand. It's funny, when I'm with Ali and Kellie, it's like time never passed. We can keep each other entertained for hours. Of course, Ali asked me how my dating life was. "It's been a few weeks! You never know, something HUGE could've happened in a few weeks in your life!" I laughed. It's true, when I was doing the online dating thing, I had quite a list of people going, and in 2 or 3 weeks, I might have met and ruled out 2 or 3 different guys! Ha! She mentioned that she wants me to write a private blog for my girlfriends, complete with the nicknames of the men I've met (almost all of them have nicknames...), and the hilarious details that happen to everybody, but nobody actually has the guts to talk about. Very few people have heard the ridiculous details of my online dating experiences, Ali being one of them, but apparently she thinks people would be horribly amused by the blunders I've experienced. Something for me to think about... Ha!

When we got to the concert, Kip Moore was playing. We went in, found our seats (which were AMAZING, by the way), and immediately joined in with the crowd, singing along. At one point, Kip was literally 7 rows away from us, singing from the stands. It was awesome. He was a really good performer, and definitely got me hyped up for Lady Antebellum. When Lady Antebellum finally took the stage, I was so excited, I could hardly contain myself! You see, I believe everybody has a band or two that really grabs them. Lady Antebellum is one of those bands for me. I listened to their music all the way to Minnesota from Las Vegas, a year and a half ago. I've connected to so many of their songs...Listening to their music seriously helped me cope with my divorce. Is that weird? I don't know what it is, but some of their songs put into words exactly what I was feeling during that time. Needless to say, when they took the stage, I'm not sure I was prepared for what was to come. I knew EVERY word to EVERY song. Kellie and I sang along at the top of our lungs, and had the time of our lives. Shoot, we're both single moms, and we had a chance to let loose! We definitely took advantage...It was hands-down the best concert I've ever been to. And today, I have a sore throat. Figures. Totally worth it, though!

Not only was the concert great, but Kellie and I also ran into some old friends of ours. They were actually parents of a wonderful little girl I coached on a competitive team, years ago. I always liked their entire family, and had such respect for the way they raised their kids. Anyway, it's always funny when you haven't seen people in the better part of a decade, and they catch a glimpse of you from a distance, and come running. We met up with them afterwards for a drink, and had a great time. By the time we left, it was close to 11:30 (I know, it doesn't seem late, but I still had to pick up Charley, and drive another 45 minutes back to Kellie's place). Apparently we should've stayed a little bit longer though, because Kip Moore made an appearance at the bar shortly after we left. Typical. Damn.

As we drove home today, Charley slept in the back seat, and I put Lady Antebellum back on the stereo.  I made memories I'll never forget, and had so much fun, it's totally worth the fact that I'm pretty sure I'll be going to work sick for the next week, until I get a day to sleep in! With all of that said, I'm aiming for an 8pm bedtime tonight. Have a great week!

The Ultimate Virgo

As I'm sure you all know, the last week or so has been incredibly cold in Minnesota. In fact, I've only worked with students 2 days in the last week. On Martin Luther King Day, my school district had a teacher in-service day, so we didn't have any students. Then school was canceled on Thursday, I had a funeral to attend on Friday, and school was canceled again today...and tomorrow. Now, I know it probably sounds crazy, because I have been paid to stay home for five days this year so far, but I actually MISS my regular schedule. My students haven't been able to get into a routine since winter break, which they need...but I need it, too! I'm such a creature of habit and I thrive on routine. Sometimes I don't know what to do when I have too much spare time! Now don't get me wrong...I have plenty to do. I've been working on my business and finishing paperwork for the school, along with frantically cleaning my house (I'm pretty sure it's cleaner than it's ever been). But, strange as it seems, I miss my students! I'm PRAYING we have school on Wednesday!

When I have extra time, I find myself doing a lot of work (I use that term VERY loosely) on the internet. Sometimes I'm researching daycares, other times I'm looking at rental homes closer to the school...  The last few days have been no exception. Charley has been under-the-weather, so we've been relaxing on the couch quite a bit, and my 'research' has become more 'looking around online because I'm bored,' than anything else. The other day, I was on Facebook, and someone posted 12 Signs You're an Aquarius. So, naturally, I had to look up, 'Signs You're a Virgo,' to see how it fits in terms of my personality. HA! I am the ULTIMATE Virgo. It's weird to me that when I was born determines ANY of my personality tendencies, but seriously, it's pretty accurate. One of the Pinterest posts states the following about Virgos:

Loves: organization, constructive criticism, being of service, health and hygiene, and dealing with details

Hates: crowds, people who complain, interrupted schedules, people moving their things, and making hasty decisions

Another post cites that, "No need to worry. A Virgo will do the worrying for you."

Ha! It's like someone read my mind. I love organization, and helping people. Details are SUPER important to me, so when I look at a project that I know I won't be able to execute perfectly, I don't even attempt it, just in case it doesn't come out right. I've been working on that, actually... When it comes to the things I hate, I genuinely can't stand people who complain. Everybody has struggles in their lives. Everybody has things that are difficult, and circumstances that are complicated. But my philosophy has always been, if something's not right, CHANGE it! I've changed my path many times in the last several years, and I'm better off because of it. As I tell my students (frequently), "I don't speak whine." I thought it was just my personality. Apparently it's a Virgo thing! Oh, and the worrying thing? I'm pretty sure I've made myself physically ill worrying before. Good to know it's a Virgo thing, and I'm definitely not crazy. Ha! 

I think my favorite Virgo-related post is the one that states, "Virgos are not really complicated, but at the same time, they are. The reason being, on the surface they are so calm, collected, reserved and down-to-earth. Inside however, there is a WHOLE lot going on, especially in their minds." Ummmm....Hi. That is TOTALLY me. I'm frequently praised for my ability to remain calm in stressful situations (let's just say a child throwing a fit doesn't phase me even a little bit). But just because I appear calm, and seem like I know EXACTLY what to do, doesn't mean that's the case. Sometimes I'm internally freaking out, but keep a calm demeanor on the outside. I suppose it's a skill in the workplace, but the tendency to overthink anything and everything has gotten me in trouble in other areas of my life.   That's a Virgo trait I think I need to try to use only in certain situations...

Hours after I read about my Virgo traits, and confirmed that I am truly, in every sense of the word, a Virgo (perfectionistic, goal oriented, driven, etc.), I went to a staff party for Kenwood. It was a really nice party. Great food, wonderful people...and they all embraced the fact that Charley came along as my date! I'm grateful to work with such wonderful people. But anyway, that same evening, my boss gave out holiday gifts and awards to all of the staff. What was my award? The GO! Getter Award. It couldn't have been more fitting, based on what I'd just been reading about myself (that totally sounds weird). My boss went on to tell everyone how I needed a change, and I just up and started a new career, which is why I'm consider the gym's go-getter. I really appreciated that! It's nice to have such a positive relationship with everybody in the gym, even though I'm not there much anymore. I honestly think that regardless of how frequently I'm there, my Kenwood friends will always be more like family to Charley and me!

So, here I am goal-oriented, overthinking, and BORED. I've got to get out of the house tomorrow, in spite of the cold! Have a good week!

Target Kids

It's been pretty busy, as usual, but a really productive week. Between Winter Break and snow days, this week represents the first full four consecutive days of school since mid-December, and boy, it was clear the kids have gotten used to having their days off. Lucky for them, they have tomorrow off too, due to a teacher work day. It might be nice for the teachers to have the day off too, but I'm actually looking forward to going in and getting some paperwork done. My plan is to be productive. We'll see if that happens, but it really is my intention! It'll be nice to have a day surrounded by adults, too!

Today was a really interesting day at school. It was one of those days where it seemed like I had all of my students in my classroom a times they weren't supposed to be there, because they needed help with something, or they were having trouble in their classroom with one thing or another. I like being able to offer a, "safe place," to my students, but it certainly makes my day more challenging. Especially because so many of my students have problems with behavior, and come bounding into my classroom during the middle of a lesson, and don't pay any attention to the fact that there are 5 other kids in the room who are working on something. It's okay, though, days like today don't come along very often, so I can deal with them when they do. I felt like I made a connection with a particularly challenging student, too, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. This student is one of those kids who always seems to get into trouble when he's with his peers. He can be deliberately rude and disrespectful at times, but at other times, he can be very sensitive. Today, he was having an issue in class, and instead of throwing a fit and getting himself into trouble, he chose to come down and talk. So, we talked. It was probably a 30 minute conversation, during which he spilled his guts about how he felt like he got singled out in class, and how he always gets in trouble for doing things that other students were doing, too. I listened to him, asked him a lot of questions, and gave him some suggestions on how he could handle himself differently, so he wouldn't get into trouble. I think this is where my experience in the general education classroom was really helpful. When I taught fifth grade, I VIVIDLY remember several students who were consistently getting into trouble. They distracted their classmates, disrupted lessons, had disrespectful moments...I remember how frustrating that was, when I had a classroom full of students. I told my students about that experience, and asked him to think from his teacher's perspective. I told him that sometimes kids become, "target students," who end up taking the blame for things they didn't do, because they have a pattern of bad behavior. Then I asked him what simple changes he could make in the classroom, so he could build some of her trust, and gain independence. He had some really good ideas, and impressed me with his maturity. He didn't get defensive or mad when I talked to him about his role in the situation. He simply expressed how he felt, and listened openly to my feedback. I was most impressed when, responding to my question about talking with his teacher directly, he said, "The thing is, the things I say now can affect my future. I have trouble because I'm not sure what to say or how to say it without saying something I shouldn't." Wow. How insightful, at such a young age! When he came back to see me at the end of the day, he announced that he was having a great day. "Did you talk to your teacher?" I asked, proudly. "Not yet," he replied, "I'm having a great day because of talking to you!" How cool is that? It reinforced the fact that so many students just need someone to listen, and need to feel like they're being heard. I didn't just tell him what he wanted to hear, but I listened to his side of the story, and told him I understood why he was upset. It was that simple. It was probably the most mature, open discussion I've ever had with a 12-year-old, and it came as a complete surprise. But definitely a pleasant surprise!

Even though it was a crazy day, and I was glad for it to be over, my students did get a lot accomplished! Now they're off for a four day weekend, while my colleagues and I will be working as usual. I went to pick up Charley after school, and she was excited to see me. There's really nothing like walking into your child's daycare and watching her run as fast as she can to give you a hug. I love those moments every day. On our drive home, I was stuck behind a truck that had some really smelly exhaust. "Mommy, that truck smells bad! It's making my nose on fire!" she said. I asked myself...Is she seriously 2? I mean, I know she will be 3 soon (WAY too soon, in my opinion), but sometimes her vocabulary and the things she says are shocking to me. She's going to talk circles around me by the time she turns 10!

On another note, I've decided to take up a new hobby or two. Now, realistically, I don't have time for hobbies that take a lot of energy to learn. I'm all about fitness as a hobby, but that's kind of a daily thing I should be doing. I'm thinking about things that I can do once or twice a month for fun, and to meet new people. Any suggestions? I have a couple in mind, but I'll have to try them out before I can really consider them to be hobbies.

Alright, time to feed my kiddo! Have a great weekend!

Cleaning Up!

As usual, things have been busy, lately. For those of you who have been living under rocks for the last two weeks, it's been absolutely FREEZING in Minnesota. I mean seriously....freezing. I hate the cold. I know when I lived in Vegas I missed the seasons, but I don't think I ever missed temperatures below zero. Anyway, due to the extreme cold, I had snow days on both Monday and Tuesday. Talk about a nice surprise! Snow days are definitely a perk to being a teaching in Minnesota, that's for sure.

I learned on Friday afternoon that school would be closed on Monday. I was looking forward to an extra catch up day, because even though I was fresh off of winter break, I hadn't accomplished all I'd wanted to get done over the break. Normally, if I have a break, I take that time to clean my house, pay bills, do my laundry, etc. However, I was staying at my dads' house over the break, so I didn't really get the opportunity to do the deep clean I'd been planning on doing. So, I figured Monday would be the day! Then, I got a message from some friends asking if I could watch their kids on Monday, because their kids' school had closed, too. Now, as much as I'd been looking forward to cleaning, I knew having the kids over would be WAY more fun for Charley. So, I agreed to watch their kids while they were at work. It was such a fun day. We did some painting, which the kids loved, but I was about done with in 15 minutes (it's SO messy!). It's funny, though, because I look up art projects online, but they never turn out exactly as planned. I have great ideas, but I am just not artistic. My older sister got that gene, but clearly, I did NOT. Anyway, the kids had a great time, and I followed them around the house all day, cleaning up behind them as they blew from one room to the next. That's one of the negatives about living in a small duplex. There's just not enough room for a bunch of kids to play, without making a massive mess. That's okay, though, I accepted that my house would just be a mess for the day, and enjoyed the fact that the kids were having such a great time.

Sometime during the day on Monday, I learned that I would have Tuesday off from work, as well. Woohoo! Charley's school was open, so I decided I would take her to school on Tuesday and take advantage of that time to really clean my house. I didn't just want to surface-clean, because I do that all the time. I wanted to go through papers, boxes, closets, and junk drawers, and clean EVERYTHING out. So, I took Charley to school, and started my clean-up. Whenever I do serious housecleaning, it makes me feel good. On Tuesday, it was like I was cleaning up all of the negatives from my past. I cleaned out boxes of papers that I've moved with me across the country, but not really looked at in 5+ years. In some of the boxes, I found awesome memories, like a book my gymnastics team put together for me when I was graduating high school, a book my student teaching class had written for me before the end of the semester I worked with them, old yearbooks, pictures of Charley when she was first born, and a plethora of other things. It was fun to look through old pictures, but it legitimately made me feel old. Especially when I found the picture of my friend Lindsay and me at my birthday when I was 5...that was decades ago! Anyway, I cleaned for hours. By 1:00, I'd cleaned out my closet, the front closet, my desk and office area, and both of my junk drawers (which were legitimate junk drawers, full to the brim with random crap). I'd really accomplished a lot! What's the problem with cleaning out closets and junk drawers, though? The fact that I'd cleaned all day, and my house still looked messy! I took a little bit of a break, then got back to work, cleaning the rest of the house. By the time I finished, I felt totally accomplished, and relieved. I'd dealt with a lot of paperwork and junk that I'd been avoiding for a long time. And now, it's gone! Totally out of my life! Phew!

My attempt at a Pinterest project. Art isn't my strong suit...

When I picked Charley up from school, I was exhausted, but glad to see her. Her favorite teacher is still in school, and doing her special education student teaching this semester, so she's not there anymore. Her replacement came up and introduced herself which I appreciated. However, she wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy. Charley's old teacher was bubbly, loud, boisterous, friendly...Basically the perfect personality for a preschool teacher. This new girl, who's probably 21 or 22, introduced herself politely, but she seemed pretty rehearsed. She was like, "I understand that working here is a privilege, and it's really a partnership between us and the parents to ensure that all of the students blossom academically, and socially, etc." She might have been saying the right words, but honestly, I prefer teachers who can just carry a conversation and tell me how the day went. I was skeptical. On Wednesday, I went back to work, and it was a pretty good day. When I went to get Charley from school, though, her new teacher mentioned to me that Charley had been off-task, and had to be reminded by her and several of the other teachers to behave. My guess is that Charley was probably talking out of turn, which doesn't surprise me at all. What DID surprise me was the choice of punishment. "Charley wasn't behaving as well as she did yesterday, so instead of doing stations, she had to sit out at do a worksheet." Ummm....what? She's 2. The thought of expecting a 2-year-old to stay on-task all the time is unrealistic, in my mind, but giving a 2-year-old a WORKSHEET as a form of punishment? That's ridiculous! She can't read. The teacher gave me the worksheet, which was basically a piece of paper with scribbles all over it. When I asked Charley how her day was, she said, "It was great!" She didn't even realize she'd been in trouble. I'm not one to complain much, especially to teachers, but this time, I'm going to have to say something. It's a Montessori school...Worksheets are not exactly part of a well-rounded Montessori school. I'm also looking for other daycare options, because quite honestly, it's not worth the extra money for me to drive totally out of my way to take Charley to daycare and do worksheets. I think I'll find somewhere for her that's closer to my work. 

Okay, enough of the rant about Charley's school. I have a funny story from school this week, that people might find amusing. On Wednesday, in social skills, we had done an activity were the students were discussing emotions, and how they felt in certain situations. The kids described what happened to their bodies when they felt happy, sad, etc. So, Thursday, I extended the lesson, and had the kids play charades with emotions words (excited, upset, thrilled, surprised, etc.). One of the assigned words was confused. A child pulled the card, and the boy sitting next to him (I'll call him Alex) saw part of the word. Before the word could be acted out, Alex shouted, "CONSTIPATED!" He looked surprised when all of the students, teachers, and paras in the room erupted in laughter. The teacher I work most closely with, looked at him and asked, "Do you know what that means?" "No," he stated. "It means you can't poop," she told him, matter-of-factly. His face turned red, and he immediately burst out laughing. He was embarrassed, but definitely handled himself well. He was able to laugh at himself, and in a group like that, that was something worth celebrating. As much as that group can be crazy, that comment totally made my day.

Alright, that's all for now! Have a good weekend!