The week after I got back from Spring Break in Florida, I started Charley in a home daycare. She had been going to a Montessori school for about 9 months prior to the trip, and doing very well there. However, I live in NE Minneapolis, her school was located by the U of M, and I work in Forest Lake. The additional commute time and extra time away from Charley were wearing on me, so I thought it would be best to transfer her to a daycare in Forest Lake. I did quite a bit of looking around, and settled on a woman I'll call "Alex." When Charley and I went for our initial interview, Alex was very nice and bubbly. I heard a tone in her voice I wasn't a fan of, when she was talking to her own kids, but as a parent, I know there are moments when you've said something 80 times, and your kid just won't listen, so I let it slide. Anyway, we discussed the program, meal times, nap times, potty training, etc. From my perspective, we were totally on the same page, and I signed Charley up.
The first week of daycare, Charley seemed to do fine. She was coming home and being crabby, throwing tantrums, etc. Not really the Charley I know, but she's 3, and 3 year olds are incredibly difficult. WAY more difficult than 2 year olds. So, I attributed the behavior to a transition in her schedule and the fact that she'd turned 3. On Monday, she cried when I dropped her off at daycare. Again, I figured this was due to the transition, because Charley took awhile to warm up at her previous daycare. Anyway, when I picked her up on Monday and asked how her day was, her eyes welled up with tears, and Alex barked, "You don't even want to know!" Now, Charley can be a handful with me, but I've never had her act up with anybody else, so that response surprised me. It turns out that Charley had made a bit of a mess in the bathroom, and Alex was NOT happy. I heard the story, and thought about it as I drove home. Alex said that she'd sent Charley to the bathroom, and when she went in to check on her, there was crap all over the wall. Charley has NEVER done something like that at home, so I was trying to figure it all out. As I thought about it, it made sense. Charley had been sent to the bathroom with a poopy pull-up…And basically expected to clean it up on her own. I'm not one to make excuses for my kid. I deal with parents like that all day long…But it seems to me, that if a 3 year old changes her own pull-up, she is going to get her hands messy, and knowing Charley, she probably was trying to wipe them off... on the wall. Nice. So that was Monday.
On Tuesday, apparently Charley did the same thing, and I was told when I picked her up, that she would no longer be able to come to daycare if she did it again. Now, the part that really bothered me was that the lady made it seem like she was deliberately being manipulative. Charley is 3. I didn't appreciate the insinuation. At the same time, I recognized that if Charley WAS acting out so severely…on purpose…that something must've been very wrong at daycare. I had already started looking around for something new, and it's a good thing, because on Wednesday, I received a page-long e-mail telling me that Charley had been "terminated" from daycare. MY kid, was kicked out. Now, the reason this is particularly humorous, is that I'm a complete rule follower. When I was a kid, I'd finish my work, and look for something new to work on… and I NEVER wanted to get in trouble. Charley doesn't seem to be that way. She's a smart kid, and I'm afraid she's going to be the kid who finishes her work before everybody else, and proceeds to get herself, and everyone around her, in trouble. Ugh. I'm going to have my hands full. Alex made sure to include, in small font, at the bottom of the e-mail, that it was against all of her better judgment, but she would keep Charley through the end of the week. Ummm…thanks, but no. I don't care that I paid in advance, I'm not sending my child somewhere where she's being taken against someone's better judgment.
So I took Thursday off, to figure out what I was going to do about daycare, and we ended up running into some luck. One of my co-workers' mom runs a home daycare, and she said she'd take Charley until the end of the school year. SUCH a lifesaver. And for me, it was nice to start looking for something permanent, knowing I had that in place. I'm lucky to work with good people! Anyway, we did look at some centers, and found one that I like. I think Charley will end up being better off in a preschool setting, because I'm afraid her behavior problems stemmed not only from Alex's negative attitude, but also from the fact that she was bored. Charley just might need the stimulation of a school setting, as opposed to a home daycare. In any case, a potential child care crisis was averted, and Charley enjoyed having the day at home with me on Thursday. On Friday, my friend Julie, who is also Charley's best friend's mom, took her for the day and reported that she was perfectly well-behaved. No issues, no tantrums. Basically, the Charley I know. I was relieved, because I was beginning to fear that her behavior problems would continue outside of the home daycare setting. Again, crisis averted! I'm so lucky to have people in my life who can help bail me out, though, when it comes to my little monkey!
So, like I said, last week was crazier than normal. It's funny, because anyone I've told about Charley can't help but laugh. "Charley? What could SHE have done to get kicked out of daycare?" they asked. Over the weekend, it lead to a lot of discussion about daycares, preschools, and toddler behavior. It turns out Charley is NOT the only child to be kicked out of daycare. Apparently one of my friends' son was kicked out of a church-based daycare center, because he was obsessed with swords (he had been watching a lot of Mulan at the time), and they couldn't seem to get the Mulan out of him at school. Ha! So, lucky for me, I'm not alone. Other kids have been kicked out of daycare, and survived.
***Update: Charley started at her new school three days ago, and it's gone SO well! No wiping poop in the bathroom…and no accidents at all! Phew. Dodged a bullet on that one!
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