Feeling Lucky!

So, it's been awhile since I've blogged, but I've been so busy, I really haven't had time! I've got a LOT to catch up on. Today, I thought I'd focus on my new job, and Charley. When I started my new teaching job in the middle of November, I wasn't quite sure what I was walking into. What I've found, is that my new students are awesome, and I am totally at home in the classroom. I've finally got my own room, so routines are becoming more established, in spite of the upcoming Winter Break...which I'm certainly looking forward to! I haven't had a full day off since Thanksgiving, and even then, Charley and I were running around from house to house, so it wasn't terribly relaxing. I will definitely take advantage of the extra time to relax over the break. I've only got three more days with students, but who's counting, right? Ha!

The students I work with are amazing. They all have such distinct personalities, and sometimes they say the funniest things. Today, one student told me, "I'm not normal, I'm exotic." Another one went on and on about his girlfriend. He told me how she'd given him her phone number, and how he didn't just like her because she's pretty...he likes her personality, too. When he finished his story, he suddenly realized who he's been talking to. "Wait, why am I telling you this?! You're a teacher!" he exclaimed. I laughed. He's a piece of work. He's probably the most difficult student I've ever worked with, for a number of reasons. For one thing, he has a horrible home life. That means that anything established at school, stays at school, and doesn't really get reinforced at home. I asked him today if he's looking forward to the break. "Not really," he said. "I like it here. This is the first time I've ever liked school." While that's very flattering, I know that the reason he likes school right now is because he's comfortable with me. He knows he can push boundaries, and I will consistently respond with consequences. It's true, kids crave rules and structure. But at the same time, I choose my battles wisely. If the students are working on an art project, and he is working on a different art project, I leave it alone. If he's doing a similar task, and not bothering anybody, it's not worth getting worked up about in my book. But because of this, he wants to spend his entire day in my classroom. He knows that he acts up in class, and has a hard time dealing with authority figures. So, he'd rather not be in that setting. But he's a bright kid, and needs to spend more time with his peers. So, I spend much of my day trying different techniques to entice him back to his classroom. The problem is, as soon as I get him there, he'll do something to get in trouble so his teacher sends him back to me! Essentially, he's "in trouble," but getting exactly what he wanted in the first place. He's a work in progress, but I see a lot of potential in him, and if I can figure something out to keep him motivated to stay in the classroom a little bit more, I think he has a very bright future. Any of my fellow teacher friends have any suggestions? I've been using a token-reward system, and it was great for about a week. But just as I knew it would, the system stopped working. Kids are always keeping me on my toes! Any ideas would be appreciated.

Even though my students are challenging, I absolutely adore them. They keep every day interesting, and I know I'm blessed to have found them. They bring as much joy and excitement into my life as I could possibly hope to bring into theirs. I think I'm going to try to write down a student quote of the week. Last week's quote goes as follows:

Student (after losing his class' Christmas party): "There's NO magic in Christmas anymore!"
Para: "There is magic in Christmas."
Student: "No there's not! There's just crotchety old ladies, who like to crush my Christmas dreams!"

*Side note- I was equally impressed at a fourth grader's use of the word crotchety, and relieved that the statement wasn't directed at me.

I seriously enjoy my students for all of their quirks, and creativity, that's for sure!

So, I mentioned in my last post that Charley had gone to Kansas to visit her dad. I was really nervous about the trip, more for my sake than for hers. I knew she'd be in good hands. She would have a chance to spend time with her dad's entire family, and they are wonderful people. However, I knew I would be bored without her, and I'd miss her like crazy. I definitely missed her, but managed to keep myself busy, so I didn't think about it so much. I did some Christmas shopping, spent time with friends, worked quite a bit...I honestly did anything I could to keep myself distracted. When I drove to pick her up on Monday after work, I literally cried, I was so excited to see her. She was less enthused about seeing me, than I was about seeing her. But after a little bit of snuggling at home, she was over any possible annoyance with me for sending her away, without me. She's been much better behaved since she's been home than I ever could've imagined. I'm one lucky mom!

Charley and I were at a friend's house tonight, and my friend mentioned something to the extent that I seem to have a calling for teaching. She was at my house a couple of times when I was teaching online, and said she just thought teaching was the perfect job for me.  I think she's right. It's what I'm best at. Whether it's in the gym or the classroom, I understand how to communicate with kids, and most of the time, I can get them to do what I would like them to do. Most of the time. Ha! If only I could communicate as effectively in my personal life, as I do with my students! Maybe I would have more success...Huh, that's a thought to ponder.

Okay, it's time for me to get Charley to bed. Here's a fabulous picture of her with Santa, though! She had more success when her Nana and Boppa took her, than she has in previous years with me!

New Job Fun!

Ok, so I knew last weekend was going to be busy, but I had no idea! I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off since last Thursday, and I'm not anticipating a break until Thanksgiving. It's okay, though. Things might have been busy, but they have also been great! Hmmmm, where should I start....

Baby Lyla, right before the wedding.

Last Thursday morning, I was continuing GO! Gymnastics Week, at Kenwood Gymnastics, which was hugely successful. I was carrying the kids back into the gym, after their play time on the bus, when I got a text from the principal at my new school. "Hey! Your paperwork came through. Do you want to start today?" "Ummmm..... Crap!" was the thought, running through my head. I was in St. Louis Park, in my coaching clothes, and my teaching job was in Forest Lake! I replied that I'd be there in an hour, frantically drove home, ran inside, changed clothes and tried to make myself look presentable, and raced out to Forest Lake. I met a lot of my students, and had a chance to get to know the people I will be working with on a regular basis. It was kind of a crazy way to start a job (with an hour's notice), but I'm glad I started when I did! I worked another half-day on Friday, because my dads got married on Friday night. My sister came in town with my new niece, Lyla, and between meeting my niece, and getting the chance to be part of the wedding, it was an overwhelming and exciting day. By bedtime, we were all ready to crash, but I had trouble falling asleep, because I think I was just so wound up by the craziness of the week, and the anticipation of the weekend.

Bruce, the creepy doll!

On Saturday, we had a pretty packed schedule. I'd told my sister in advance that I would get her where she needed to be while she was in town. She doesn't come home from Florida very often, and this was going to be such a short visit, she had a lot to accomplish in a short time. So, we started with breakfast at my mom's, followed by some errand running and a visit with her mother-in-law. Then, we went from there to lunch at my dad's house. It was nice to visit with family, and relax. While we were at my dad's house, someone brought up Bruce, the doll. "Bruce," is an extremely creepy, life-sized doll, that my mom had when she was a little girl. The doll is from the 1950s, and it survived two generations of women in my family (except the right leg, that falls off regularly). In high school, my girlfriends (who actually named the doll), always talked about how creepy it is. We enjoyed scaring the last person to the house, by hiding it in random locations around my basement. Anyway, at the mention of Bruce, my older sister and I decided to prank our younger sister, who would be coming to my place that night. We dressed Bruce up, placed her on my toilet seat, and chased after my sister as she walked into the bathroom. It was classic. I'd share the video of her reaction, but I'm not sure she'd appreciate it. Here's the funny part. What I did not think through, was the fact that bringing Bruce to my house meant BRUCE WOULD BE AT MY HOUSE! Crap. While I managed to scare my sister once, I did not anticipate scaring myself a half a dozen times in the course of three days. I tried to hide the doll in Charley's closet, so she would be out of the way, but Charley screamed, "NO!!! Don't put Bruce in there!" Oh, Bruce. Creepy and frightening for three generations.

Yesterday, I coached some private lessons and taught a birthday party on the bus. These birthday parties are a lot of fun, and they seem to be picking up quite a bit. Sunday's party was a potential mess, though! We didn't receive the address information, even after several e-mails to the parents, so up until 20 minutes prior to the party, we didn't know if we were actually going to be hosting a birthday! At 10:40, the mom finally called with the address for an 11:00 party, and we raced to get there. It was a fun party, but I really didn't like how rushed it felt. Oh well, the birthday girl was happy, so I can't ask for much more!

Cousins!

So, today was my first full day at the school, and I loved it. I still don't have my own classroom yet, but I got to meet with all of the kids on my caseload, and kind of figure out what makes them tick. They really are great kids, and I'm lucky to be in the school I'm in. I like the teachers, too! Minnesota Nice  does exist. All of the people I work with have reached out, introduced themselves, and tried to make me feel welcome in the school. It's a nice feeling. I think my favorite moment of the day came from one of my students who's working on social skills. He came into the room, and my co-worker introduced me. She referred to me as "Ms. P," and the student started to laugh. *Sidenote: My last name is still Pierron on legal documents, which is why they don't call me Ms. Kaplan, and the kids still have trouble saying it, so Ms. P is just easier. Anyway, he giggled, and then immediately turned to me and said, "I need to get a little more mature. I'm at the ending stage of the anal phase of development..." at which point my co-worker cut in and let him know that he didn't need to talk about that phase in school. I'm glad she did, because it gave me a chance to turn away and not look directly at him as I giggled to myself. It was definitely the best comment of the day...And it has felt wonderful to be back in a school setting. I kind of feel like I belong there. The sad news is that working at the school will take away from me working at the gym. I truly love coaching, and I hate to have to take away from that. But I think being in the classroom is a fit for me, right now. I can already tell I'm in the right place.

More to come soon!

Ha!

Last time I posted, I mentioned that I would write more on different topics this time. I will. I really should have written myself an outline, so I don't forget anything! Oh well, here it goes...

Over the weekend, we kicked off GO! Gymnastics Week at Kenwood Gymnastics Center. The owner at Kenwood, Brian, and the entire staff have been incredibly supportive of my business venture, and wanted to help give us a little bit of a kick start. It's been so successful! We've been taking the preschool students out to the bus for about 10 minutes of every class, and it's been a huge hit. The parents have really been into the idea, and quite a few have taken information and asked about birthday parties, etc. All-in-all, it's been a huge hit. I think it's so exciting for the kids to get a chance to come on the bus to play. We've been carrying the kids two at a time out to the bus, so they don't have to take time out of class to put shoes on, and that's been my workout for the week. One dad asked if I wanted help getting the kids to the bus (there were 13 of them, plus Charley). "Sure!" I replied. He went and grabbed a few more parents, and they all congregated at the door....and proceeded to WATCH me carry the kids out to the bus, two at a time. "I thought he offered to help!" I thought to myself. By my seventh trip back to the bus, with one preschooler in each arm, I was totally winded and a little bit confused. Apparently, by help, he meant watch the kids at the door? Whatever, I thought it was funny. Plus, it eliminated my need for cardio this week! Anyway, I've been thrilled to have so many kids on the bus, because watching them play, and have fun was really my vision for this business. We've been booking more clients, too, which is great! Thus far, it's been a great week for GO!

I was hoping to start work at my new job this week, but I'm still waiting on the background check to be processed. It's been a long process, but I'm really looking forward to getting to work! I got a call from the principal today, and he reassured me that they still want me there, and they can't wait for me to start. He suggested that the fact that I've lived in 3 different states has increased the time to process the background check. That makes sense. It's just a pain in the neck! The good news is, it's given me some more time to start booking events for the bus, and make arrangements for this weekend. I've got a big weekend ahead. My older sister is coming into town for my dads' wedding! I'm looking forward to all parts of the weekend, but I know it's going to be busy, and probably not restful at all. With that said, I'm glad next week is a holiday week!

Thumbs up for a new purse!

Last weekend, I had plans that fell through, due to babysitting issues. It's a frequent problem in my life, but that's okay. Anyway, instead of staying at home, I took Charley shopping, because I needed a new purse. My purses tend to feel like they're carrying bricks, generally because at any given time, I've got diapers, wipes, snacks, and toys in my bag. It's probably no surprise that the strap broke on my favorite bag, and I had to get a replacement. I took Charley to Marshall's because that's where 95% of my purses have come from over the years. In spite of having an enormous meltdown prior to leaving the house, Charley was surprisingly pleasant at the store. I was looking for purses, and she was looking, too. She picked up one purse that was something like $30, walked over to a mirror, put it on her shoulder, and said, "That's SO me!" Oh my gosh, she is TOTALLY my kid. Ha! As much as she would've liked the $30 purse, that was never going to happen. Lucky for her,  I found a Disney Princess purse for $5, that she liked even better. We were walking up to the counter to pay, and she said, "You're my best friend forever," and hugged my leg. A woman walking by with her teenager overheard it, and I could see her face light up. Charley had made her day, too. I'll try to remember that sweet comment during Charley's next tantrum.  After shopping, we went to Chipotle for dinner, walked around St. Anthony for a bit, and then went home. It was a fun little mommy-daughter date night.


So, for some reason, last night I decided to venture back into the world of online dating. I'm really not sure why. I don't really even have time to date right now, but I guess I figured it's always  been an amusing way to meet people, and it's a hell of a self-esteem booster. Except when you hear from creeps and a##holes. I've gotten messages from some guys that seem nice enough, although I'm not really even sure I'm going to make an effort to meet any of them. We'll see. But then, along came Brandon. Now, remember, I said I signed up LAST NIGHT for the site. I received a message from Brandon, telling me about himself, and asking me about myself. I looked at his profile, and he really wasn't my type. He lived far away, worked at a casino, and physically, was not what I'm looking for. I didn't respond. This morning, I woke up to this e-mail.
"You think you are to good for me it's great. Thank you for showing me the type of person you are. You don't care about anything you type about and are a phony. It is great. You don't deserve a great man because u r not a great girl. I wish u the continued failure that is u based on your shallow personality"

Nice, huh? The Brandons of the world have kept me from staying on any dating site for any real length of time. Crazy! Did I respond? You bet! I'm really a nice person, but don't insult me, because I will intelligently voice my opinion. Without grammatical and spelling errors. Here was my response:
Hi Brandon. I do not appreciate your second message. It might be appropriate for you to do a little bit of soul searching to understand why you're having trouble dating. First of all, online dating is a bit of a crap shoot. You reach out to someone. Sometimes you get a response sometimes you don't. One reason I did not respond to you has to do with your location. I will be moving further north soon, and it doesn't make sense for me to start dating someone who lives the opposite direction. Nothing personal. However, in receiving your second email, it's clear that you have significant self-esteem issues, that I am not prepared to deal with, and most women would find incredibly unattractive. I hate to say it, but your negative attitude will prevent you from finding someone great. Don't judge women who don't respond. I'm sure they have their reasons.

I know I probably came off as callous, but the guy deserved it. He hasn't scared me away from online dating. Others have...but this guy just made me laugh. It's really pretty pathetic to tell someone they're shallow and phony, because they didn't respond to a message within less than 12 hours. With all that said, I'm sure this round of online dating won't last long, but it's already provided some entertainment!

Alright, I'm off to bed. Hopefully I'll get a phone call tomorrow saying I can come to the school and sign my contract! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Another New Chapter...

Oh my goodness, it's been FOREVER since I posted on here! I've had a lot going on, and at times feel like I don't even have time to eat! Thank goodness for coffee...It's been a great food/sleep substitute over the last couple of weeks. Anyway, I haven't posted mostly because I had a couple of things happen that have changed my career path a little bit. I won't go into details because they don't really matter, and I can't stand when people go on and on about the negatives in their lives. Let's just say this. I've never been one to wallow in my sorrows or struggles. Life happens, I roll with the punches, and tend to change my plans quickly when I need to. That's pretty much what has happened the last couple of weeks.

When I started GO! Gymnastics, the plan was that I would start teaching classes pretty much right away, as soon as the bus was completed. The problem? People seemed really excited about it, but not really willing to commit to monthly classes. So, we've adapted the program a bit, and I think we're more marketable now. We might not plan on going to the same schools weekly, but we're getting many people who are interested in bi-weekly or monthly sessions, so that's great! We've also had lots of birthday party requests, so we're on the right path with that, too. Here's the problem...I need to have a steady source of income. The bus is just getting up and running, and I can't support a two-year-old on what's coming in from the bus at this point. It's still growing, and I know it'll take some time before it'll bring in enough money for me to rely on it as my main source of income. I had a medium-sized freak-out a couple of weeks ago, and panicked when I looked at my finances. With some guidance from some very helpful friends and colleagues (you know who you are), I was able to stop my miniature breakdown and figure out a new plan. With that said, I had to go to Plan B (which is really more like Plan Q at this point...In talking to one of my friends, we decided that I've had more life experience in the last year and a half than most people have in a decade). I decided to go back to teaching.

Part of me had been avoiding getting my MN teaching license, because I remembered how painstaking the process had been in Nevada, and figured it would take awhile. In spite of that, I decided to apply to a couple of teaching jobs around the Twin Cities area. There were a few special education positions, and I figured it would be easier to get a SpEd job, than an elementary job, because there are more positions and not as much competition. I honestly didn't anticipate getting any callbacks, because my current license was an out-of-state license, and I'd been told it would take 8-12 weeks for processing. Imagine my surprise when I received a phone call the very next day from the Forest Lake School District. It was the special education director, and she was inquiring about my license. I answered her questions, and she informed me that if the school was interested in interviewing me, they would contact me directly. "Great," I thought, "I don't stand a chance!" Oddly enough, a few days later, I received a phone call asking me to come and interview for the position. I was excited, but also a little bit nervous. I haven't been on a teaching interview since I was pregnant! I frantically searched through the tubs of clothes I've been storing in the basement, searching for something that was professional, but not stuffy. I was thrilled to find my "teacher clothes" tub, and I decided on my outfit fairly quickly. When I went to the interview, I didn't really expect there to be many other applicants. I mean, it's November, and a special education position, 25 miles north of the Twin Cities. I was wrong, in that assumption. There were quite a few applicants, and they'd scheduled back-to-back interviews all day. "Well, crap," I thought, "There goes my shot! I don't even have a license yet!" During the interview, though, I really clicked with the principal, and other team members, and thought maybe, just MAYBE, I had a chance.

The next day, I got a text from my friend, and colleague, Janine. "You're totally going to get this," she said, "The principal called me for a reference!" I got butterflies in my stomach, because as much as I didn't want people to know it, I REALLY wanted this job. It seemed like a fit, and appeared to be exactly what I was looking for, which was a positive work environment, great kids, a steady income, and a daily routine. I'm a creature of habit, and I need a routine. That is one thing the bus hasn't been able to give me, and at this point in my life I really crave the consistency. Sure enough, the following Monday, I got a phone call from the principal, offering me the position. I was so relieved! This job is just what I need in my life right now, and I'm confident I will be really good at it. Now, of course, it's taken awhile for the paperwork to process, and all of the little bureaucratic things to work themselves out, but if all goes as planned, I will start next week!

Now, with that said, GO! Gymnastics is still very much in business! It's starting to pick up, and I've decided that, even though it wasn't my original vision, I will hire someone to do the teaching. That means I will simply do the planning. I will coach birthdays on the weekends, but I will not be instructing the day-to-day classes. That's okay! I don't always have to micromanage in order for things to be successful!

So, with the career conversation out of the way, let's move on to the fun stuff....Charley! I know I've posted about Charley starting school, and she is just beginning to get into the groove of things. She has been going 3 days a week, but will start full-time next week, when I start teaching. I dropped her off the other day, and a little girl shrieked, "Charley!" "Oh, hi Jaya, " she replied. I loved it. It makes me feel good that she's making friends and getting more comfortable. Apparently, she spent the last few days telling her classmates and teachers about the bald eagle we saw on Friday. Charley is very enthusiastic when she's talking about it, too. "We saw a bald eagle! Sitting on the merge lane on the highway! It looked at me (insert random number here) times!" It's cute. She can't stop talking about it at home either. It's okay, though, because seeing that bald eagle was a good omen and a positive sign for the future.

In other Charley news, she will be going to Kansas for a few days in a couple of weeks to see her dad and grandparents. How do I feel about it? Let's just say my feelings are mixed. It'll be great for her to see her dad's side of the family, and she can't get enough of her Grammy and Grandpa. But I will miss her! It'll be the first weekend I've had without her since she was born. It's going to be great for me to have a break, but I have a feeling I'll be frantically calling people to hang out, so I don't sit at home crying because I miss her! Deep down, I know it'll be good for both of us, though. I'm a more effective mom when I get the occasional break.

Alright, that's all for now! For the first time in a long time, I feel very confident and content with where my life is now, and where it is headed. More about other topics in the posts to come...

Halloween Fun, Stereotypes, and Faux Pas

It's been awhile since I've blogged, but it's been busy, and when I normally sit down to write, I generally determine that going to bed is a better option. Tonight, though, I've got a little bit of energy after all of the trick-or-treating fun! It was fun, and Charley had a great time knocking on doors and getting candy....for about 20 minutes. Then, her attention span was up, and it was time to head back to her friend's house. I saw some things, this Halloween, that jumped out at me a bit. Enjoy!


So, last year, Charley refused to dress up for Halloween. She wouldn't wear a costume, and threw a fit every time I even attempted to put something on her. This year was different. She got the most adorable Snow White costume ever from a friend of mine, and was so proud to show it off. She went trick-or-treating at school, then participated in a little song and dance with her classmates this afternoon. It was adorable, watching all of the kids sing 'Five Little Pumpkins,' along with several other songs. As I watched Charley and her classmates, it struck me that preschool teachers really don't make enough money. I know several preschool teachers, and many work for something like $13 per hour. That certainly isn't enough money for me to wrangle toddlers and preschoolers all day. It looked exhausting. The songs were cute, though, and Charley really had a great time at school.

We went home for a bit, and then proceeded to Charley's friend's house, where we ate dinner and went trick-or-treating. The kids looked adorable, and it was a fun way for me to spend the evening, too! After trick-or-treating, we stayed at Charley's friend's house for a little while, and let the kids eat a little bit of candy. Anybody who doesn't believe in sugar highs should've been there! Let's just say, they would be proven wrong. All three kids were running around, happy as can be, but within less than 30 minutes, they were all coming down from their 'highs' and starting to melt down. Charley was even worse when we got home! She simultaneously wanted to stay in the car, go into the house, and go to my friend Rena's house. Unfortunately for her, I wasn't in the mood for her tantrum, and carried her into the house, in spite of her kicking and screaming protest. As a result, I've hidden her candy bucket. Tomorrow it'll be like it never even existed! Ha! One can hope...

As I was driving back from Charley's friend's house, I noticed something funny. I saw several cars with parents driving along, transporting their kids from one house to the next. Talk about contributing to a lazier, more obese generation! When I was a kid, we walked from one house to the next and our parents walked right along with us. As I looked at the cars driving from house to house, all I could think was how sad and pathetic it was. I found it to be incredibly lazy, and I think it said a lot about this generation of parents and children. Now, that doesn't go for all of us. There are many (I'd even venture to say MOST) parents who still encourage their children to have experiences that require physical activity. But what were these driving parents doing for their kids? Driving them from one place to the next, to get free candy. To me, that was even worse than the adults that were going from house to house with bags or pillowcases so they could get candy, too. I mean, seriously, if you like candy that much, go buy a bag! Don't bring your two-year-old trick-or-treating, and bring two buckets! Everybody knows where all of the candy is going to go. In my opinion, those are complete Halloween faux pas. On Halloween, kids are supposed to be out in the community, going from house to house, seeing their neighbors, and having fun! Not jumping into a car after every house. And it's certainly a faux pas to trick-or-treat once you've hit an age where you could have a child yourself. Yikes!

With that said, it was a great Halloween. I love seeing all of the kids in their costumes, and I really love hearing the little ones whisper (or shout, in Charley's case) "Trick-or treat!" The little ones are very polite, too, which is adorable. Generally, it's obvious when they've rehearsed, "Thank you. Happy Halloween." Ha! I love it. On that note, it's time for bed. More updates on my life to come in the next few days! Happy Halloween!

School Shootings in Nevada...Too Close for Comfort

Generally my blogs address the things going on in my life. I intentionally don't talk about politics, or give my opinions about public issues, because I prefer to discuss those things in person, and sometimes keep my opinions to myself. After reading about yet another school shooting, this time in Nevada, I feel the need to speak up about this generation of students.

I'm a teacher. I don't teach in the classroom setting anymore, but nonetheless, I am a teacher. I love encouraging children, watching them succeed, and pushing them to learn. I also enjoy watching my students have little failures. Not because I like when my kids fail, but because I recognize that kids NEED failures in order to really appreciate success. I also feel strongly that it's possible for kids to fail, or struggle, and then work to improve themselves. As a teacher, it's my job to give them the tools to rebound from difficulties or little failures. In my classroom, we played a lot of games. There were winners, and there were losers, every time we played. Some kids coped with losing better than others. Part of it is just related to their personality types, but another part of their coping skills comes from being taught!

When I was young and played games with my family, sometimes I lost. I was TAUGHT that it's okay to lose sometimes. You win some, and you lose some. When you lose, you have the opportunity to learn, and make changes so you have a better chance of winning the next time around. I think that was, for the most part, how my generation was raised. I was appalled a couple of years ago, when I was babysitting (it was at a party, so the parents were home, I just supervised the kids), and watched a mother "solve" a problem between her kids who were playing a game. The kids were about 9 and 10 years old. Definitely old enough to understand that they won't always win when they play games. Well, a game of Sorry wrapped up, and the girl clearly won. What happened next? Her brother threw a fit. "You cheated! You didn't win, the game's not over yet." I intervened, and stated, "You know, it looks like she won this round. It's no big deal, she got some lucky cards! Why don't you play again, and maybe you'll win this time!" He wasn't having it. He went upstairs and pulled his mom away from the party. She promptly informed the kids that it was a tie. The little girl didn't win, but both kids won. Why? Because she didn't want to deal with the fact that her son didn't have coping skills. It upset me, because in a little decision like that, she took a learning and growing opportunity away from both of her kids. Her daughter didn't get to celebrate her win, and her son didn't have the chance to deal with a loss, and find that he can move forward.

Obviously, if you're reading this blog, you know how much of a role gymnastics has played in my life. When I competed in gymnastics, the top 5 or 10 gymnasts on each event got a ribbon or a medal. Everybody got some kind of participation prize, like a t-shirt, but only those who performed the best received awards. As a coach, I've watched that philosophy change. I think it's great to acknowledge all the kids' hard work. But, as I sit in awards ceremonies, and watch kids receive medals for 25th place in a competition of 30 kids total, it makes me wonder what encourages children to do any better. Don't get me wrong, I understand the purpose for rewarding everybody. All the kids walk away with a smile, and feel like they've done a great job, which they normally have! But at the same time, I feel like giving everybody a "feel good" award in every sport, at every competition (I know I'm generalizing here, it's just been my experience as a coach), we're not preparing kids for real life. In real life, the top 3 performers in a job interview might be called back for a second interview, and the best performer will get the job. In real life, somebody who is 25th on a list of potential employees won't get a phone call, because there are 24 applicants who are more qualified. Unfortunately, if kids aren't prepared for this type of situation, they don't know how to deal with rejection, and in turn, frequently act out or blame others for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

All of this comes to mind, because I firmly believe that a lack of coping skills contributes to the increase  in school shootings over the last 15 years or so. It's great to build children's self-esteem, and encourage them to be the best kids they can be. What better opportunity to do that, than when they experience failure? As parents and teachers, we need to take advantage of those teaching moments. We need to tell the children who lose, "You lost, and that's ok! How are you going to make sure you win next time?" I understand that life would be easier for everybody if nobody ever 'got out' in a game, or if the outcome was always a tie. But that's not how life works, and kids need to learn that, so they don't freak out when they are faced with adversity. Charley and one of her little friends get into arguments fairly frequently. Her friend's mom and I usually try to let them work it out (unless one of the toddlers throws a punch or something, lol), because even at 2, kids need to learn to cope with things, particularly with peers. So many of these kids who participate in school shootings seem to have been bullied in school. They need to learn how to deal with bullies in a constructive manner, instead of bottling up their emotions until they can't control themselves. As parents, we want to protect our children from negativity. But sometimes, we need to back away, and let them solve problems for themselves. If kids were taught from birth HOW to use their emotions constructively, enjoying the positives, and even embracing the negatives, maybe we wouldn't see so many kids who are pushed to suicide or even murder, before they're even teenagers.

As a perfectionist in childhood, and admittedly now, I have high expectations for myself. I don't like to fail. I didn't experience much failure as a child. If I wanted something, I worked hard to achieve it, and was usually successful.  With that said, in my early gymnastics years, I was frequently one of the girls who received a medal in competitions, at least on floor and vault. But I almost never won anything on beam or bars, because I wasn't as good at those events. I knew those were my weaknesses, and that I had to work harder on those events if I wanted to do better. There were times when I was off, and didn't get any medals at all. I failed those days. But that was really the extent of my failure during my childhood. As an adult, I have experienced a few failures, and in self-reflection, I appreciate every failure almost more than I do my successes. I was willing to stay and work on a marriage that was never really meant to be, because I didn't want the relationship to fail. I didn't WANT to fail. But my failures have made me stronger, wiser, and more conscientious. I'm not super-mom, and I know Charley isn't the perfect child, but I hope that I can encourage her to deal with failure better than I did when I was young, so she doesn't make the same mistakes I've made as an adult.

There's my rant for the night! Not my usual type of post, but the Nevada shooting hit too close to home. I know too many awesome teachers, working in a terrible neighborhood in Vegas, and I don't know what I would do if one of their names was written in the paper as a victim of a school shooting. On that note, I promise, more entertainment in the next post!

Saturday Night In!

So, it's a Saturday night, and what am I doing? Blogging! Naturally. I actually had a really busy day, so instead of trying to chase down a sitter so I could go out, I decided to stay in and snuggle up on the couch next to my new space heater. Best purchase I've made in the last month, I might add. Anyway, this week was busy, and when you're starting a business, busy= awesome, so it was a good week!

She dressed herself before gymnastics. Can you tell?

I mentioned in my last post that Charley started school this week. It's been both a blessing and a curse. 90% blessing, and 10% curse, I would say. I mean, I love that she is getting to have time with other kids, and I know it's good for her. She's getting the mental stimulation she needs, and making friends at the same time. Meanwhile, I get time to actually focus and get things done! Those are the positives. There have really only been two negatives. First of all, since she started school, she's thrown screaming fits when I've left her with anybody else for over an hour. Secondly, she's had the HARDEST time falling asleep at night. It's not that school doesn't wear her out. It definitely does. But she's so stinking stubborn, she fights to stay awake, until she's overtired and ends up having night terrors once she is asleep. Now, I do understand that both of the negatives will improve with time, but right now, I'm still having some pull-my-hair-out moments in the middle of the night when she decides it's a good idea to wake up and stay awake until 2:00 a.m. Awesome. I suppose poor Charley is genetically screwed when it comes to sleep patterns. For as long as I can remember, I've had trouble falling asleep, and sleeping through the night. And on her dad's side? He was notorious for night terrors and sleep walking. The poor kid never had a chance of being a good sleeper. Lame!

Girls' Day!

A friend of mine asked me to watch his 9-year-old daughter today while he was at work. I'd intended to work all day, but my sitter backed out during the week, and I wasn't able to find anyone to watch Charley. Anyway, of course, I said I was happy to take his munchkin for the day. I took the girls to get their nails done, then for a playdate at one of Charley's friends' house, then to Michael's to buy craft supplies. In the car, we blasted Disney music, One Direction, and even some old school Backstreet Boys (I insist that the original boy bands don't go unrecognized in my house), and sang along all day. We brought the crafts home, and the girls did crafts during the afternoon, while I did some serious housecleaning. It was awesome to have a little girl here who was a bit older, and actually enjoyed entertaining Charley. As the day progressed, I started thinking. Most of the men I've dated are single dads, and I'm fairly certain that anybody I date seriously in the future will likely have kids as well. I thought about the day, and realized, that I think I would be better off with a guy who has a girl than a boy. Now, of course I know that's a generalization, and I would be perfectly fine if I end up with a man that has a boy. But I GET girls. When I took my friend's daughter to get her nails done, she completely lit up. She was so excited to sing along to boy bands in the back seat, and have me singing right along with her. With girls, I can read them, and figure out what they need from me fairly quickly. I think that comes from so many years of teaching and coaching. I can spot a girl from across the gym, crying in the lobby, afraid to come out on the floor, and figure out how to coax her into joining her class (whether that means I have to let her chase me around the floor, or sit with me during stretch, I can figure it out). I know when to tease and be a little sarcastic, and when to be straightforward and sensitive. A couple nights ago, I was subbing for a class where I didn't know any of the girls' names. Instead of learning their names, I gave all of them nicknames, based on what they were wearing, so I had Sparkles, Pinky, Purple Puff, Space Girl, etc. They loved it. That's because I GET girls! It's different with boys, though! Sometimes they look at me like, "Who's this chick, and why is she talking to me like I'm an idiot?" It's interesting, because when I taught school, some of my favorite students were boys! Some of them were well-behaved, helpful, and smart. Other favorites were still smart, but they could be troublemakers, and a little mouthy. I guess I liked that they had personality. But I didn't understand them on the same level that I understand girls. With all of that said, I would actually love to have a son. I look at my sister, and my friends that have boys, and they have the sweetest relationships with their little guys. I just think I would need to start with a boy from birth, because otherwise I'd be lost!

On a totally different note, I've mentioned many times that I think people come into your life for a reason. I've got a new friend at work, that I've totally clicked with. I really enjoy everyone that I work with. They're fun, they make me laugh, and they are genuinely great people. But it's funny how with some people, you can get coffee, spill your guts to each other, realize you have a LOT in common, and never have any fear that they're judging you. I'm very much an open book. I mean, crap, I write a blog that anybody and everybody can read! I don't share all the details, but a select few people know the ridiculous nonsense that has gone on in my life over the last year. For some reason, she and I jumped right into conversations about our lives, dating, the mistakes we've made, patterns we've fallen into, etc. It was like I'd known her my whole life! She made an "Oops," comment via text today that was almost identical to a text I'd send to a couple of girlfriends a couple months ago. I laughed to myself when I read the message. We were destined to be friends.

On that note, I'm currently enjoying peace and quiet, because Charley went to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight. Fingers crossed she sleeps through the night!

Did My Kid Really Say That?

It has been a GREAT couple of days. I've finally committed to taking Saturdays off from work. I used to work Saturdays, and it wasn't an issue, but in recent weeks, I've decided I need one day off every week. For most people, that day would be Sunday, but I teach private lessons all day Sunday, so I determined that Saturday had to be the day! This weekend, I actually took Saturday off, and decided to take Charley to the apple orchard. A friend of mine, who grew up near the orchard, decided to join us. Then, I decided to invite Charley's best girlfriend and her family to come along. Then, Charley's friend's dad invited a friend of his to meet us there, so it was kind of a large group, but tons of fun! We rode out to the orchard along with Charley's girlfriend, so that meant I actually got to have 45 minutes of adult conversation on the ride there and back. As much as I enjoyed the orchard, I really appreciated the adult interaction! For a woman who spends most of her time with a toddler, any adult interaction is appreciated, and it was a great experience for all of us!

Saturday night, I went to my friend Rena's house for a girl's night in. It's been a few weeks since I got to hang out with this particular group of girlfriends, so I was very relieved to have the night out to relax. We played a game called Cards Against Humanity, which might be the greatest game ever created. It's basically Apples to Apples for adults, and it's hilarious. We all played cards, and included a ghost card in every round. It was funny how the ghost card sometimes applied to the particular round. When I was the judge, the ghost card won twice in a row. That ghost totally got me. Ha! Anyway, we played for several hours, laughing until we cried, and just enjoying each other's company. It was a great way to spend the evening. 

As I've mentioned several times in the past, I teach a lot of private lessons and I really have fun with the kids I work with. This week, I had two girls that made me crack up. In one case, the girl's mom had texted me to say she needed to drop her daughter off, because she had an eye appointment, but that she would be back about halfway through the lesson. I didn't think anything of it. Then, during the lesson, my student said, "Oh, my mom's not here yet because she's having that laser hair removal on her lip. She'll be back soon." I laughed to myself. She totally sold her mom out! Ha! I love kids. The other one that got me this week was a little girl who is learning aerial (no-handed) cartwheels. She has perfect aerials off the tumble track (a long trampoline), perfect aerials off of a mat....But she won't go for the aerial on the floor. I asked her if she's afraid. She said, "Well, I'm a little afraid." "Why?" I asked. "Well, this one time, I was trying aerials at home and I landed on my face." Ha! I chuckled to myself. "That would scare me, too!" I said, "That's why you don't teach yourself tricks at home." I suppose I'm not one to talk, though, I taught myself all kinds of tricks at home. 

So here's my hilarious story of the day. Charley started school today. She's been talking about it for weeks, but when it came down to it, she was a little bit shy when we arrived. She didn't cry, but she was getting a little bit anxious before I left. Admittedly, I was kind of sad myself when I walked out the door. Lucky for me, there is an adorable coffee shop next door, so I got myself a treat. It was legitimately the best chai latte I've ever had. Now, I'm wishing I hadn't discovered it, because it's so stinking convenient, I'm going to have to stop myself from going inside. Anyway, back to the story. Charley made it through her day, and I had a chance to get a lot accomplished. When I picked her up, her teacher, who happens to be a fairly large, African-American woman, told me that Charley had a great day. "She did have a little trouble at nap time," she said,"I was lying with Charley, and she said she had to go to the bathroom, so she went on the potty. While we were in the bathroom, Charley said, "I want the white girl." Apparently, Charley wanted the other teacher (a white woman), who is a little bit quieter and more subdued, to lie with her instead of her lead teacher. I'm fairly certain I turned every shade of red, when she told me the story. I think it's comparable to the time I told my preschool teachers, "I wish things were better at home." Well, if nothing else, I could say Charley started off with a bang! Hopefully, she will develop a more tactful vocabulary.  ***Side note: I just asked Charley what her teacher's name is. She said, "Brown." I asked, "What?" Her response? "Brown hair. She has brown hair Molly has white hair. " I'm a little bit relieved, but still totally embarrassed. Oh the things kids will say!

Broken Bone Update and Other Recent Happenings...

It's been a busy week, as usual, but next week is when the real fun will start! I suppose I should start of by letting everyone know Charley got her cast off on Monday. When the cast first came off, I was expecting her to have some atrophy on her leg. I mean, she's been in a full leg cast for 3 weeks! I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was minimal atrophy, and her leg looked pretty normal. It hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, since she got the cast off, though. My poor kiddo is afraid to walk!  I can't say I blame her. I mean, the last time she really walked, it hurt! Plus, her leg has to be pretty stiff from being in that cast for so long. She's taken a few steps, but isn't very confident with walking and still has a significant limp. It's almost like retraining her completely. I've taken her to a few indoor playgrounds where there are kids to play with, as possible motivation, but as much as she wants to play with the kids, she also realizes that she can crawl or scoot instead of walking, and still socialize with the other children. Oh well, she will figure it out. I hope it happens soon, though! I was looking at some videos of her from a couple of weeks ago, and it's honestly hard for me to remember the last time we went somewhere and I didn't have to carry her. On a positive note, my arms are feeling particularly strong... Ha!

Business has gotten off to a slow start. We've had a couple of mommy groups come on the bus for open gyms, but haven't been able to get out and pitch the business in person, because Charley's been home with me all the time. I was again, hoping to start her in school this week, but her grandfather, who's an orthopedic surgeon, advised me against it. He did give me the go ahead to start her next week, though, so I'm anticipating making a lot of contacts and getting a jump start on Monday. I've been feeling ultra-motivated the last few days. Even though I haven't been able to make the progress I had originally intended, I have been doing a lot of behind the scenes work, and I know we will get some daycares signed up in the next week or two.

On another note, since Charley hurt her leg, I really haven't been to the gym. I wasn't sure they would want to take her with that huge cast, and I was kind of afraid it might get a little too rough there. But yesterday, I decided I'd take her before it got too crowded, alerted the childcare workers to the injury, and finally got a workout in. It felt amazing. It'd been so long since I had those endorphins going, and I legitimately missed going to the gym! I never thought I'd say such a thing. Ha! Anyway, I pushed myself pretty hard, and anticipated being ridiculously sore today. Surprisingly, I'm not that sore! I can feel the burn in my abs a little bit, but my arms and legs really aren't too bad. I suppose my arms aren't sore because I've been carrying around a 33 pound toddler with a 7 pound cast for 3 weeks. But I really expected to feel worse than I do. I guess that 3 weeks off didn't totally ruin my physical condition! With that said, I'll be back in the gym later today, just happy to get my 2 hour me-time again.

I know I've mentioned before that I tend to be a little bit clumsy. As athletic as I am, I definitely inherited the clumsy gene from my mom. In fact, all of my sisters inherited that gene. When I say my mom is clumsy, I mean REALLY clumsy. Things that happen to her, just don't happen to other people. Like the time I heard her voice yelling for help, when I was upstairs in my bedroom. I couldn't figure out where the voice was coming from, but it got louder and louder as I approached the laundry shoot. I opened the door to the shoot (which went from the second floor of the house to the basement) and her voice came through loud and clear. "Help me!" she yelled. So, I ran to the basement to see what was going on. When I walked into the laundry room, it was all I could do not to laugh. The people who had lived in the house before us had built some kind of a guard for the shoot, so the clothes didn't go all over the place when they came down the laundry shoot. Apparently, my mom had been getting the clothes, and she managed to get her hair tangled in a nail on the built on contraption. Her arms were flailing, as she stood there, helpless, and tangled up. Hilarious. I shared this story, to give an image of the clumsiness that runs in my family, because I had my own "Betty moment" last night. Charley had been asking me if she could play with her friend Sawyer all day, so we wandered over to Sawyer's house last night, waiting for him to come back from dropping his brother off at football. I was encouraging Charley to play on their new swing set and playhouse, because I was trying to get her to walk. I was being silly, and dancing around with her, trying to keep my body moving because it was after dusk and the gnats had come out. I hate gnats. They're little, they come around in masses, and they just drive me crazy. Anyway, I was dancing around and trying to entertain Charley, when I saw a gnat coming at me. And it flew directly into my eye. MY EYE! How does that happen?! I already have a tendency to get red eyes from allergies this time of year, how was a gnat in the eye going to impact that? After laughing at myself a little bit, I blinked a few times, and managed to remove the gnat from my eye. It could've only happened to someone in my family. Sigh.

I know Charley has been a major focus of this post. I spend more time with her than anyone else, though, so what do you expect? In the last few weeks, I've been noticing how much she picks up on what I say and do. When she really wants me to listen, she will say, "Mommy, look into my eyes. Are you looking at me? Are you listening?" Then she'll tell me something along the lines of, "I said, I want a cookie right now!" She gets very serious when cookies are involved. Yesterday, I told her, "No," at some point, and she replied, "Mommy, don't talk to me like that!" Ugh. Teenager attitude in a 2-year-old body. Sometimes, she really amuses me, though. Her inflection and delivery tend to be right on, when she imitates me, and she understands concepts that surprise me sometimes. Yesterday, a little girl at the gym made a comment about not crying when she was a baby. I said, "Ha! Charley cried!" Charley looked at me from across the gym, and said, "Mommy, why are you telling them that?" What toddler says that?! Anyway, check out the video below, it's pretty funny.

Alright, that's all for now! Have a great weekend!

Blasts from the Past and Positive Vibes

Today was a weird day. Not a bad way, in fact, it was a really positive day. It was just a little strange. Let me just start off by saying that my last couple of weeks might have been kind of rough, but with a little bit of sleep, I feel like a new person! Charley has finally adjusted to sleeping with a cast on her leg, and has slept straight through the night since Sunday. It's amazing what a little bit of sleep will do for a mom! I feel great, and definitely more myself. That might be partially due to the fact that I took Monday off. I decided I needed a day just to play with Charley and recover from the last couple of weeks. It was  truly a wonderful day. We went to the zoo with some friends, then came home and played for the rest of the day. I really had fun with her. I feel like I am so frequently just trying to keep Charley occupied while I'm working, that I forget to have fun with her. I need to take days off more often!



Anyway, about today. Charley slept until almost 8, which was AWESOME, and meant I had time to get up, shower, and have my morning coffee before she woke up. Aaaah, peace and quiet in the morning. I loved every minute of it! Once Charley did wake up, and we got moving, we ran back to our house (we're house sitting for my dad), and picked up a couple of things I would need for the next few days. Then, we ran into Target for 3 items, and of course purchased more like 15, but that's how it works at Target, right? Charley is a great kid, and I know that. The vast majority of the time, she brings nothing but joy into my life, but sometimes Target trips can be difficult. Well, today was actually a GREAT Target day for us. Charley sat in her stroller the whole time, without whining, and I couldn't believe the number of smiles and comments she got while we were there. She's gotten quite a bit of attention for her cast, but only one person commented on her cast. Several others smiled as we walked by, and I told her, "I don't speak Whine." More chatted with her as we waited in line, and she messed up her perfectly styled hair (intentionally, of course). Still others grinned at her as she got her cake pop (yes, I bribed my child) and beamed with excitement. It was one of the few Target trips since I've had Charley that I've had the chance to see how much people really enjoy kids, and how children can bring a smile to people's faces with such simple things. It was a great way to start off our day!

When we got home, and I began making contacts with various preschools....That's when it got weird. Not the work stuff. That was actually great, and I set up a few more Gus the Bus dates. But I started to get text messages from guys I've dated in the last year. Not one, not two, but FOUR guys I dated. Four!  Now I know it's not unusual to hear from guys you've dated a few weeks later...but these are guys I haven't heard from or talked to in MONTHS. One I haven't heard from in nearly a year. It struck me...is there something in the air today? Why today? Why FOUR different guys on one day? It was definitely interesting. I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain it. But apparently I'm putting some love vibes out in the universe or something. Ha! As long as they're positive vibes, I'll keep them coming! It's strange, though, because if I look back at last  year at this time (or close to it), the same people are coming around. It's like I'm repeating last fall (although I'm not, because last year I actually dated these people). But now I'm not quite so naive, I've learned a lot about who I am, what I want, and what I need. Last year what I wanted and what I needed were two different things. Now, with some time, experience, and personal growth, what I want and what I need are more in sync. My friend Sean said it the best, I think. I want one person to invest in, and see where it goes. I don't want to think about how it's going to work out in the long run. I don't want to think about distance, or jobs, or he lives there, if it went somewhere would I have to move? How would it work with the kids? He has cats (or dogs)...and I'm allergic. How would that work? I don't want to think about the logistical things, because my theory is, if something truly develops, I'll figure it out and make it work. That's just what we do, right? Make it work!  I just want to get to the root of someone. REALLY get to know him, and see where it goes. That's not too much to ask, is it?

Okay, back to the positive vibes, one of my closest friends had something wonderful happen today. Her neighbor was getting some cement work done on her driveway, and my friend asked her neighbor to send the guys over for a quote while they were there. After a little bit of discussion, the cement guy came to her door with an estimate of $1,400. My friend politely declined, because that just wasn't in the budget at the moment. A little while later, she got a knock on her door. The cement guy was back, and told her that he'd talked to her neighbor who mentioned she'd had a rough time the last couple of years, and he'd like to do her driveway for free. FREE! She refused, and told him she couldn't let him do that, but he insisted, and she started to cry. "Things like this just don't happen to me!" she told him. As she told me the story, my eyes welled up with tears. There is nobody I know who is more deserving of such a kind gesture. She's been paying it forward for years, it's about time someone actually did something sweet, wonderful, and unsolicited for her. Just another weird, but wonderful surprise. For me, it was a reminder that there really are great people in the world.

On that note, I had a great night at the gym, as well. Two of my Rec Team students participated in a cartwheel-a-thon at the gym to raise money for the St. Louis Park Emergency Program, and between the two of them raised nearly $400. I was so proud, and incredibly impressed. These girls worked so hard to raise money to help others. Again, proof that there are great people in the world! They are good citizens in training!