This week, I've been overwhelmed by the number of things Charley says and does on a daily basis that are hilarious. Generally, she's not trying to be funny…but seeing as she is 3 years old, she doesn't understand the irony of her actions, and the things that she says. So, today, I thought I'd write a series of little letters to Charley. Enjoy!
Dear Charley,
I know you like Saved by the Bell. But the fact that you scratched a disk and it won't play is not an emergency. When you scream, "Mom! It's an emergency!" down the stairs from now on, I will not believe that it is, in fact, an emergency.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
I appreciate that you've been sleeping in your room every night. I also appreciate that you are willing to watch TV in the morning, so I can sleep a little bit longer. However, if you recall, I taught you how to use the DVD player. I did that for a reason. So that you could put in a DVD, by yourself, and allow me to sleep an extra 20-30 minutes. Shaking me awake, and asking me to put in a DVD is not the same thing. Let's keep working on this one.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
I think it is very polite that you have picked up the term, "Yes, ma'am." However, it is not a term I need to use with you in every conversation. For example, if you ask me for a popsicle, "Sure," is an acceptable answer. You do not need to correct me and say, "No, Mommy, you should say, yes ma'am."
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
When we are at the store, I understand that you get frustrated with me. I tell you, "No," quite frequently. Although you asked me nicely the other day to, "Please stop saying 'no,' Mommy," my answer will not change. In fact, I would say the word 'no' a lot less frequently, if you didn't find it necessary to pick every 4th item off the shelf and ask if you can have it.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
When you see a creepy looking guy walking down the sidewalk, please wait until he's out of earshot before saying, "Mom, that guy is a creeper!"
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
When I tell you I am not going to argue with you, it does not mean you have won the argument. In fact, it means exactly the opposite. I have won the argument, and we are going to do what I have told you we are going to do. On a similar note, you are not allowed to tell me, "I'm not going to argue with you!" It doesn't work that way. I'm the mom.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
Just because Nana calls people 'dumbheads' when she is driving, does not mean you can use that term. I am not a dumbhead. You may only use that term in Nana's car.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
I love you. I do not love Barbie's Dream House. Please find a new show to watch, because I think Barbie and Ken are making me lose my mind. Literally.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
When you spill something on the floor, break a picture frame, or have an accident, you are not the one who should be saying, "It's okay. Accidents happen." That is my job. And sometimes, I might not be very happy about what happened, especially if I asked you NOT to do it in the first place. However, accidents DO happen. And I still love you.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
I don't speak whine. I say that to my students, and I say it to you almost daily. That means you need to stop whining. Whining louder and shouting at me, "I'm CRYING!" while no tears fall from your eyes has no impact on me. You are stubborn, but I've been practicing the stubborn thing for years. I will wait you out. I don't know if you noticed, but when I ignore your whining, you DO eventually stop, and turn back into my adorable, hilarious, sassy little girl. I will keep practicing this method until you graduate high school.
Love,
Mom
Dear Charley,
Thank you for being concerned about doing the dishes. You are a little bit too young to do this chore. However, I will continue to let you 'help' me with the dishes, despite the fact that it takes 4 times as long when I have your assistance, in hopes that I won't have to fight you to do the dishes when you're 10. I'm not banking on that, but a mom can dream, right?
Love,
Mom
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