Top 10 Events
1. My divorce was finalized. Although I have been separated for more than a year and a half, at this point, it was only a year ago that my divorce was actually final. It set me free in a number of ways. Most importantly, receiving my divorce decree really gave me the closure I needed to put my marriage in the past. Even though I hadn't felt married for several months before I left Vegas, the finality of the divorce really was necessary for me.
2. I started a business, along with my stepdad, and one of my closest friends. GO! Gymnastics is still up and running, by the way. It's not something I can do full-time at this point, but it's going strong, and I'm hoping to watch it build in the next few years.
3. Charley broke her leg. This was NOT one of my favorite events of the last year, but it did make an impact on my life. Poor Charley was incapacitated for several weeks, but she really impressed me with how well she coped. She managed to get where she needed to go, in spite of the seven pound cast on her leg. And my arms were like rocks for about a month and a half. Thanks for that, Charley!
4. I started teaching IN THE CLASSROOM again! This might be the most exciting event of the last few months for me. It is exciting, it's challenging, it drives me crazy, but it's also the best possible thing I could've done for Charley and me. I craved the interaction with students and teachers that I wasn't able to get through teaching online. The position is really a perfect fit for me.
5. I've made some great new friends. I know this isn't one particular event, but it's been so incredibly important to me. There's nothing like having old friends, and I always say mine are the greatest. They are! But none of them who live here have kids (except for you, Katie Maddaus), and it's honestly easier to socialize when there are other kids to play with. I feel so blessed that I actually LIKE Charley's friends' parents. They're great. It's a nice feeling to be able to know that Charley is going to have kids to play with, while the adults socialize.Plus, playdates are over before 9, so Charley and I both get to bed at a reasonable time. I must be getting old, but I need my sleep! I guess I feel like it's such a symbiotic relationship to be friends with your kids' friends' parents, and it's really a great perk to having kids! Thanks again, Charley, for expanding my social circle.
6. I completed the Tough Mudder. For many of my co-workers, the Tough Mudder was a breeze. For me, it was the ultimate physical challenge. The obstacles might have been easy for me, because I'm strong. But I absolutely HATE running, especially any sort of distance. So even completing a 10-12 mile obstacle course was a feat for me. I might have been the slowest participant in the history of the Tough Mudder, but I did it, and for me, that was enough.
7. My dads got married. After 12 years together, it was about time. I was happy to be a part of the ceremony, and can't wait for the upcoming reception.
8. My niece was born/I got to meet my niece! I am a sucker for kids (everybody who's ever seen me around children knows that), so it was really exciting to get to meet the newest addition to the family.
9. Charley started preschool. This changed my relationship with Charley drastically. It's a big part of the reason that my social life is lacking on the weekends. I always said I didn't want to have a child, just to send her to someone else and not raise her. Well, now that she's in preschool, it's a much bigger priority for me to take advantage of every minute I have with her, after I pick her up.
10. I sent Charley away to see her father and grandparents...without me. This was a huge step for me, because prior to this, I hadn't spent more than 12 hours away from her...ever. It needed to happen, but it wasn't easy for me. She was totally fine and had a great time, of course. I probably struggled significantly more than she did. But it also showed me that she is well-adjusted enough to know that she can be safe with someone other than me, and I will ALWAYS come back. It gives me a little bit of freedom looking into the future, too.
Top 5 Revelations
1. I haven't spent enough time with my old friends. I know I rave about them, and honestly I feel like I could call any of them at any given moment and know they'd be there for me if I needed them. But I haven't been able to give those friendships the attention they deserve. I haven't intentionally neglected my friends, but in the hustle and bustle of my life as a single mom (who now commutes about an hour and a half every day), it's easy to neglect those relationships that have always been intact. It's important to me that they know they ARE priorities to me, so I need to get out more and socialize with them.
2. I don't take enough time for myself. This goes along with my first revelation, I think. Spending time with my friends when Charley isn't around IS taking time for myself to have fun. I haven't really had the opportunity to do that in the last few months...at least not as much as I would like. I haven't had much Charley-free time in general, and by the time she goes to sleep at night, it's hard for me to spend a lot of time focusing on myself. I usually just do the dishes and go to bed. I'm so exciting, I know! But it's become a way of life for me, and it's something I'd like to change.
3. I have incredible people in my life. If what I've put out there in the world is being paid back in terms of friends, I must have made an amazing contribution to the universe. I seriously find myself surrounded by the most wonderful family, friends, co-workers. Shoot, my co-workers ARE my friends and many of them are like family to me, too. Not everybody is that lucky. Charley and I have great people who care about us all over the country, and for that, I will always be grateful.
4. I still have NO idea what I'm doing when it comes to dating. I've tried dating quite a bit in the last year or so. It's really hard for me! I think it can be a pattern for me to get wrapped up in things quickly, and then back off because I get scared of commitment. It's not that I want to date a lot of people. I legitimately HATE dating. But the thought of integrating someone new in my life, making somebody a priority...that's intimidating! I've already got Charley to take care of, and I'm so busy, it's overwhelming to think about adding another person (or people, if he has a child), into the picture. With that said, I'm totally open to settling down. That's really what I want. But I definitely want to build a friendship with someone first, and get to know them on that level, before talking about dating. I think that's been my issue with online dating. If you find someone you like, you rush to claim them (although usually it hasn't been me doing the claiming), and go from point A-Z in a fairly short period of time. For some people, that's great! For me, it doesn't work. I tried it once, and it really didn't work. Friendship works for me. It would be nice to be friends with a romantic interest before anything else, and to make that friendship a priority. This is what I'm talking about when I say I've made the same mistake several times. Rushing into things, then running away. Again, something I've now recognized, and will now change.
5. I'm still the ultimate people-pleaser. I have to give myself credit here, because in the last year I think I've gotten better at standing up to people and telling people things they didn't necessarily want to hear. However, I still have a hard time trying to please everybody. It's something I've done my whole life, and I'm working on changing it. Parts of my people-pleasing habits, I won't change. For example, I love to let people I care about know I care, in my own ways. I might text a funny quote that makes me think of them, or send them a post on Facebook every once in awhile. I like to do things for people that I think they will like or enjoy. But I'm beginning to address my issue of trying to please everybody and make everybody like me.
Top 5 Resolutions
1. Give myself a break! I'm going to aim for at least 2 nights out every month, whether it's with my girlfriends, or new friends...it doesn't matter. But 2, Charley-free nights every month, just so I can remember that I'm something other than a mom.
2. Never miss out on anything because I was afraid to take a chance. I made this resolution last year, and I think I'm going to continue it. I've taken a lot of chances this year. Some have panned out, others have not. However, I don't regret anything, because I DID take risks. It's a good resolution, though, so I'm sticking with it!
3. Have patience with myself. My goal is to trust that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes, that reason isn't apparent right away. Ok, this might not sound like much of a resolution, but I tend to want things, work for them, and get them fairly quickly. That's how I've been since the day I was born. However, it's made certain aspects of my life difficult, particularly my personal life. I haven't been terribly patient with myself, and I don't really cut myself much slack. In 2014, I'm going to try to relax just a little bit, and let life lead me wherever it does.
4. Stop trying to force things to happen in my life. I'm going to try, again, to let life take me where it's supposed to lead. I do believe that there are certain parts of life that are already in the works in the universe, and I just need to stop trying to control everything. If that means I'm going to be moving north in the next year, because that's where my job is, so be it! If it means I'm going to be single for another year, that's okay! If it means I'm going to settle down and start building a relationship, that's even better. Regardless of where life leads me, I'm going to stop trying to make things happen before they're supposed to.
5. Build my business. GO! Gymnastics has already hosted a number of events and parties. I want the business to really take off in 2014. I think part of me was always meant to own a business, but I also think that maybe I'm not meant to BE my business. I want to learn to delegate and help the business become even more successful in the next year.
Well, there you have it! That's my life in 2013...and what I'm hoping for in 2014. Here are some pictures that have captured my life in the last year.
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| Me, a year ago, at Lindsay's birthday party! |
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| Charley, a year ago, playing at Beth's. |
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| At the zoo, over the summer. |
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| Tough Mudder 2013 |
P.S. I want to give a shout out to my sister, Allie, who will be celebrating her birthday by the time she reads this. I love you Allie, and I'm so glad we've grown closer over the last few years!
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| Charley and me a couple of weeks ago. My crazy little handful! |
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